(no subject)
i cant understand anything in my life right now. i always thought of myself as this good person. but obviously not. i never could understand why i have always lost so much people in life. i have lost loves and i have lost friends and family. maybe it is just me. maybe i am just this horrible person. becuase right now when i really need someone i have no one. no one to turn to and no one to cry with. i have never felt so alone in my life. i have always had someone around. oh well maybe i do deserve it. i do desercve all this shit. and i am this terrible person in life. i have to be. i guess i am never supposed to be happy. becuase everytime that i even feel an ounce of happiness it all goes down hill. so maybe it is good that i have no one in my life. and everyone said to hell with denise. ity must be me if my family is doing it. i am just a hated person by everyone that ever knew me. and it should be me that is not here right now instead of all the people that i have lost in my life. it really should be me. they should be around. not me.