The Importance of Friendship....
I'm taking a little break from my 5 part entry of the Causes and Destruction of Abuse and Bullying. I would like to discuss the importance of friendship and the benefits gained.
There are many reasons why we choose to talk to certain people. Some reasons are aesthetic such as the way a person laughs, the feeling one receives when being around the other, the places they go together, but there are many more factors that play in the role of building a strong friendship such as trust, honesty, conviction, dedication and loyalty. Sometimes, the benefits of a friendship are short term. Others are long term.
I have worked on a ten year study of the bonds of friendship. (I've been taking notes over the years from my own experiences since high school which first started off as a Social Sciences project.) Through my own experiences, which will differ from another so using my own source isn't a viable source of credible information, I have discovered that in teen friendships the most common factor that bonds are formed is through the aesthetic. Most teens are drawn to others that look like them, talk like them or listen to the same music as they do. This is a very common and often misleading form of bonding since most teens outgrow certain styles, music and interests through their developmental years.
Teens that discuss political and social issues, share activities such as sports or vehicles, or even hunting activities tend to have longer lasting relationships possibly due to the reasons that the bonding goes much deeper that form trust, conviction and dedication as well as loyalty. A study of military dependents have shown that most of the teenagers that had been uprooted and relocated tend to have a higher stress level than those teenagers and children that were allowed to remain in one location for more than 2 years. Some of these teens were not allowed or had not allowed themselves to form bonds as readily due to the nature of their home life
Which brings to light a question; would uprooting a child from one social group to the next should be considered indirect psychological abuse? The answers are unclear. Giving the nature of a military household, the parents have little choice in the matter which could raise apathy and disinterest in the military lifestyle later in life. The possibility of the lack of contact in some cases could be the choice of the teen and not of the parents. Those that have chosen to take on the roles and form friendships tend to have unstable bonds with those that the military teen chooses to be with in a social setting.
Granted that not all children and teens will exhibit this pattern of behavior and I do hope that many people realize that as soon as a teen is uprooted, certain behavioral patterns will be brought forth such as disinterest in moving, a sudden increase in activity to make up for lost time and possibly promiscuity. Stress in teens is just as harmful though it does show different sides and emotional outbursts than in adults.
I have yet to see the warning signs and I do apologize that I don't have much information about it other than what I have observed though I can speculate that the warning signs do vary widely between individuals.
There are many reasons why we choose to talk to certain people. Some reasons are aesthetic such as the way a person laughs, the feeling one receives when being around the other, the places they go together, but there are many more factors that play in the role of building a strong friendship such as trust, honesty, conviction, dedication and loyalty. Sometimes, the benefits of a friendship are short term. Others are long term.
I have worked on a ten year study of the bonds of friendship. (I've been taking notes over the years from my own experiences since high school which first started off as a Social Sciences project.) Through my own experiences, which will differ from another so using my own source isn't a viable source of credible information, I have discovered that in teen friendships the most common factor that bonds are formed is through the aesthetic. Most teens are drawn to others that look like them, talk like them or listen to the same music as they do. This is a very common and often misleading form of bonding since most teens outgrow certain styles, music and interests through their developmental years.
Teens that discuss political and social issues, share activities such as sports or vehicles, or even hunting activities tend to have longer lasting relationships possibly due to the reasons that the bonding goes much deeper that form trust, conviction and dedication as well as loyalty. A study of military dependents have shown that most of the teenagers that had been uprooted and relocated tend to have a higher stress level than those teenagers and children that were allowed to remain in one location for more than 2 years. Some of these teens were not allowed or had not allowed themselves to form bonds as readily due to the nature of their home life
Which brings to light a question; would uprooting a child from one social group to the next should be considered indirect psychological abuse? The answers are unclear. Giving the nature of a military household, the parents have little choice in the matter which could raise apathy and disinterest in the military lifestyle later in life. The possibility of the lack of contact in some cases could be the choice of the teen and not of the parents. Those that have chosen to take on the roles and form friendships tend to have unstable bonds with those that the military teen chooses to be with in a social setting.
Granted that not all children and teens will exhibit this pattern of behavior and I do hope that many people realize that as soon as a teen is uprooted, certain behavioral patterns will be brought forth such as disinterest in moving, a sudden increase in activity to make up for lost time and possibly promiscuity. Stress in teens is just as harmful though it does show different sides and emotional outbursts than in adults.
I have yet to see the warning signs and I do apologize that I don't have much information about it other than what I have observed though I can speculate that the warning signs do vary widely between individuals.