(no subject)
i really have to perfect my method of studying/getting crap done. it's rediculous. my roomate is a bad influence on me, well, both of them, and even when i am by myself, all i can think about is him.
He's doing great.
He is going about life just as he always had: cold, bitter, calculating, complex.
I'm doing okay.
I am hung over the fact that i really cannot make this boy see himself for what he is.
he's just so cruel. he really is. and i knew not to get invovled with him, but he convinced me that he could be a different person. the way he acts towards me and other people is almost anti-human. i dont get why he treated me the way he did. i was his only friend on campus.
this is me setting my feelings free.
to him:
what changed from the time we met til now? (no reply)
why do you treat women so disrespectfully, not only me, but others? ("I don't care.")
i didnt cry this time. i knew it was gonna happen. i just wanted to see if my care could make him be a nicer person. i really like to see the good in everyone, but i dont know if i can even be his friend because of the way he was with me and still is. i feel bad for him because he doesnt even realize the destructive nature of his actions not only to himself but others.
he never hid the person he was, i chose to care for him as long as i did so that i keep busy and ignore the fact that he was not the person i had hoped he was. but i got really cold. he didnt care back. i wasnt healthy. i really wasnt. and i was doing fine for a real long time before him. i never had anyone treat me like that before.
i truly would not fret one bit if i could be apologized to once, be given a compliment that wasnt dripping with distain.
i wouldnt give a damn and i could be his friend if i could feel confident in thinking he had liked me for a time and wasnt just testing me out, using me.
i dont cry.
He's doing great.
He is going about life just as he always had: cold, bitter, calculating, complex.
I'm doing okay.
I am hung over the fact that i really cannot make this boy see himself for what he is.
he's just so cruel. he really is. and i knew not to get invovled with him, but he convinced me that he could be a different person. the way he acts towards me and other people is almost anti-human. i dont get why he treated me the way he did. i was his only friend on campus.
this is me setting my feelings free.
to him:
what changed from the time we met til now? (no reply)
why do you treat women so disrespectfully, not only me, but others? ("I don't care.")
i didnt cry this time. i knew it was gonna happen. i just wanted to see if my care could make him be a nicer person. i really like to see the good in everyone, but i dont know if i can even be his friend because of the way he was with me and still is. i feel bad for him because he doesnt even realize the destructive nature of his actions not only to himself but others.
he never hid the person he was, i chose to care for him as long as i did so that i keep busy and ignore the fact that he was not the person i had hoped he was. but i got really cold. he didnt care back. i wasnt healthy. i really wasnt. and i was doing fine for a real long time before him. i never had anyone treat me like that before.
i truly would not fret one bit if i could be apologized to once, be given a compliment that wasnt dripping with distain.
i wouldnt give a damn and i could be his friend if i could feel confident in thinking he had liked me for a time and wasnt just testing me out, using me.
i dont cry.