Book 46 - Things to Know from 30's to 40's
서른과 마흔 사이 30대에 이루지 못하면 평생 후회하는 70가지
오구라 히로시 지음 | 박혜령 옮김 | 토네이도 | 2010년 09월 20일 출간
"Things to know from thirt to forty [years of age]' by a Japanese self help guru.
I read these books by Japanese men because behind closed doors, I think Japanese men are very similar to Korean men (differences in our cultures at large notwithstanding). I want to understand Korean men better, but there isn't a direct thing that says "This is what Korean men are like" except all those girly books saying Korean men hate women who have opinions and aren't embarassed to be able to earn her own income.
As with all books of this nature, the thing that I need to learn the most is going to jump out at me, and they were the following:
인간은 명예를 위해서라면 목숨도 내던진다 - A human being will give up his life for honor.
Well... I don't know about that, for me. It depends on how you define honor, I suppose, and unsurprisingly, the author talks about the samurai code etc. But it's true for a lot of men - they will not have their 'honor' trampled by a woman, and would rather die. Witness - Handsome Misogynist. He didn't want to be told that his idea had tax problems by a woman, a younger woman, a younger woman with a fancier degree and fancier digs and more income. Of course, in his case, he'd rather kill me than die, himself, but there you go. The same goes for Ex Officemate, I think - I never gave two hoots about his conception of his honor, and that may have been part of why he was eager to leave this division.
By the same token, I copied down some phrases to use from the next chapter: 큰 소리로 비난하지 말아라 : Do not criticize loudly. This is an interesting piece of advice that a Japanese person gives to other Japanese people because I thought all Japanese people did this all the time: - 현 시점에서는 ... 처럼 보입니다만.." "혹시 제가 잘못 알고 있는 것인지는 모르겠지만" "At this point ... it appears to me that.." or "I am not sure that I have not misunderstood" (wow that is a really Japanese turn of phrase). I don't know how to say these softening things in Korean so I'll make sure to see if I can find an opportunity to use it sometime. I've been told by the VPs that like that I'm very 'knife-like' which I take to mean they find useful to turn on their adversaries but do not want me to use on them.
Some of the of the other advice was amusing: Listen the way Oprah listens. Be nice to your parents. Break down goals into smaller components.
But the most interesting quote, to a diarist and list maker like myself:
위대한 수첩을 만들어라
그렇다면 무엇을 수첩에 적어농아야 꿈이 실현되는 것일까?
그것을 매일 당신이 생각했으면 한다.
그리고 무엇을 적어야 할지 떠올랐다면 바로 그 자리에서 그것을 수첩에 기록해 보자. 그것은 읽어야할 책이나 세미나에 참석한다거나 자격증을 취득하자는 것과 같은 자기 계발의 시간을 것이다. 위대한 수첩을 만들어라. 꿈을 머릿속에서 수첩으로 이동시키는 자가 반드시 이긴다.
Basically, in your day to day caledar/ notebook, don't just write up your current pending projects and appointments and grocery lists. By all means, do that too, but also write down every day the thing you want to achieve to get to your dream. It may be to read a couple chapters from that professional manual, it may be to listen to that online lecture. "Those who can move their dream from out of their heads into their planners are the ones who win."