[incomplete]
Who: Jade Curtiss and Dist
When: After all this nonsense. Same evening, I suppose.
Where: The rickity shack the Keterburgian's are currently inhabiting.
Rating: PG-13, for now.
Warnings: Gay, awkward failure kiss.
Summary: Dist sets out to prove his feelings for Jade (as a result of false pretenses on Jade's part) after he expresses that he ( Read more... )
When: After all this nonsense. Same evening, I suppose.
Where: The rickity shack the Keterburgian's are currently inhabiting.
Rating: PG-13, for now.
Warnings: Gay, awkward failure kiss.
Summary: Dist sets out to prove his feelings for Jade (as a result of false pretenses on Jade's part) after he expresses that he ( Read more... )
Admittedly, the man was brilliant in his own right. Jade wouldn’t deny it. He wouldn’t have found Saphir a stanch partner in the ‘old days’ if the man was anything but flawless in certain realms of aptitude. Odd, really, how many years had been spent toiling away with Dist; firstly, as children, the younger always clinging to the elder in selfish hope for acceptance-perhaps Saphir had chosen him, and none other, simply because Jade would treat him evenly and equally no matter what he did… even if that treatment was often cruel, and that was acceptance in itself-and then years later. In labs, with fanciful ideas.
Jade had never understood death, and so, undervalued much about life. Dist, more than anyone, had been exposed to that flaw in his companion. It was perhaps why now, elder, and a bit more attuned, Jade was particularly hardhearted with Dist. Someone who knew so much about him was, in his own way, frightening.
However, in knowing ever so much about him, Dist also much realize that Jade was one to prefer vices over romance; not quite the person you wanted to be sending your heart-shaped chocolates to.
"Do go on." Fourty-five seconds.
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In a way, Dist felt he didn't understand many things about life, and he knew that Jade didn't quite understand either. However, Jade had both of his feet planted firmly on the scape known as reality. Since the professor's death, Dist had definately been somewhere else for a great number of years.
Dist felt weighted by the pressure, aware of the time slipping as he thought. He chewed on a gloved thumb. He was beginning to think that he should start harnessing will power as opposed to trying to find a way to say it in a way he could without killing himself that he hadn't already tried. What would it take?
Dist felt like he would have to describe his feelings in vivid detail from day one to now. And he most certainly hadn't the time. "I..." Frustrated, Dist gave an exasperated sigh, sliding his bony fingers through his hair, a palm resting on his forehead. Now, rather than debating on what to say, he was debating on whether he should actually be harnessing his will or thinking of a way to say this. Great. His stomach churned uncomfortably, heart skipping a beat.
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Beyond Keterberg, fomicry, perhaps even their partnership, Dist indeed did not have much to speak of in terms of ‘a life’. Hence, having left the man in limbo, at a stalemate, he did feel the occasional tug of darling. He had never been able to stamp Dist out, kill him; and doubted he would, unless it truly came to that. After all, for his misdeeds and misguidance, Jade was at least partially accountable and partially sympathetic.
Mainly, however, Dist was just an idiot.
Now, for example.
As time frittered away until there was only a meager fifteen or so seconds left, Jade didn’t do the honour of speech. He merely turned to go, hands tucking into his pockets
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Dist had a sort of unspoken faith in Jade; he didn't think that the man truly hated him, though he often doubted his own faith and got the impression. For whatever reason. It may have been faith invested out of desperate longing alone, or perhaps because like himself, Dist knew Jade was awkward about expressing himself. He regarded his history with Jade a bit more particular than with other people, and so figured that may have been why he treated Dist badly.
Unfortunately, that faith was the very thing that kept Dist tethered to Jade while he was constantly teetering on uncertainty.
Even if Dist staked claim to having changed from when he was a child, his loyalty certainly hadn't been swayed, even if he tried to mask it with murderous intent.
"Hey! Time isn't up!" Apparently, on top of two different trains of thought, Dist had been keeping track of time. Dist ran in front of Jade, hands on his hips. It seemed every time Jade did something like this, Dist's courage would briefly flare and simmer out when Jade obliged to stay. He huffed, mind racing as his eyes observed Jade from beneath their thick sheild of near-opaque lenses.
Time dwindled down further, and Dist felt he almost had it--though it may have the weight of the "deadline" crushing Dist by his shoulders.
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“I assumed by the time you were done convincing me that a minute hadn’t run out just yet, it will have been gone.” And, as the last seconds ticked down… “I do believe it is, and I’m to the door with perfect timing.”
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With Jade's last words, Dist's eyes widened and, he made another irrational move. Quite. In fact, perhaps the most irrational thing he'd ever done. Well, as an exaggeration. A result of frenetic panic, of sorts -- Dist didn't even have time to tell Jade to shut up.
So rather, Jade's words were killed on his lips, Dist rolling onto the balls of his feet to place a soft kiss against Jade's lips. He felt something swell uneasily, but delightfully, in his chest, then...
His thoughts were distracted from all three subjects, funneling down to wondering whether or not he was going to die for this.
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Jade’s Second Thought: Probably, Indignation.
His hand, out of reflex, clenched a moment, fingers biting into his palm. He hadn’t closed his eyes, so his gaze was still stuck on the uncomfortable, dwarfed man, silent.
And, this silence would continue, until, very casually… he did indeed slip past Dist for the door, a brush of arms and not a word spoken.
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The pause he held the kiss was a little awkward, and mostly, Dist was almost surveying these sensations: it felt...very strange, but it did stir quite a lot of things. Too many. He felt like exploding. He felt anxious, scared, almost happy, and he enjoyed the contact for what it was worth. Mostly, he thought it felt a little odd. Their lips were cold.
Once the kiss was broken and Jade slipped past him without having really responded (which was fine--Dist hadn't planned that far ahead), Dist shivered from the oddity of the feeling and sighed. In the same moment that he had felt so light, he suddenly felt heavier than his multiple-ton machines. He sunk back into a slouch, backing in a bit of a stagger against the wall, eyes narrowing in the dark as Jade moved for the door.
Someone who had those sort of feelings...even if it was Jade...surely, there would have been a response. Now, Dist minded somewhat. His expression cracked with a smile on dark lips, though it was hollow; bitter, almost angry, and definately not amused. Contrary to the expression that likely couldn't be made through the dark, Dist's voice sounded a bit weak. A little agonized.
"You lied, didn't you?"
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In an odd manner, it denoted he was both honest and somehow comfortable at the moment.
He paused at the door.
“Dist-“ Eyeing him, a rather wretched lump that was now supporting himself with a wall rather than his legs, grinning strangely and hunched into himself as if for protection, Jade felt that familiar tug. Something like pity, like the warning that he’d stepped a bit too far across the line, or else, had pushed Dist a bit too far. No matter… “-a kiss proves absolutely nothing, except for perhaps, sexual frustration or poor judgment. I could certainly kiss you without feeling any brand of affection.”
And the kiss, for Jade? Had been… well, something rather like having a cold sardine pressed up against his mouth, still twitching. (Though, he reflected, perhaps not as unpleasant as that.)
Still, best not to sound as if he was making excuses after the fact. “I see no reason for you to be offended, if you could not prove your own affections."
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Surely, Dist would find a scapegoat -- deny that any of this was true, and resume as he had previously, and pretend it never happened. Still, that Jade had lied...led him on that long.. Dist's cleared his throat uneasily, suddenly feeling quite parched. He didn't know how he would behave, otherwise. In any case...
"At ...in the very least...at least I...things are a little clearer, then...about how you feel." Dist might have liked to elaborate, but was having trouble keeping his voice together. Or his entire person, for that matter. He shuddered against the wall.
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Like a machine, hm? Perhaps there was more than a thimbleful of truth to that statement. If A, then B. How Jade’s mind tended to work, though he now gave credit to the irrational C of human emotions… emotions were composed fundamental logic, but at such a complex level. He admitted that he could not decipher them, nor discount them.
However, the debate on kissing could be held for a moment. Jade caught the light outline of movement; it wasn’t quite cold enough to be shivering, but Dist seemed to be even so, curling a bit further into himself and the wall. …Dist, generally a social leper, seemed to be crumbling under the weight of a hard-won gesture. Jade had perhaps taken for grated the fact that that may have been Saphir’s first kiss, and moreover, that the implications of it were near thirty years in the making-and in the hiding.
Perhaps he’d cracked a line of defense that may have been Dist’s final level security; he’d been stripped of partnership, the intellectual balance, the confidentiality, the nostalgia, even the term ‘friends’. His denial, therefore, may have been more vital than Jade gave credit for.
"And how would you describe it, then...?" A cruel question to ask, considering the situation. But a reason for Jade not to leave him there, alone, just yet. A form of kindness, that as usual, had to be slighted into existence.
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Dist listened with a heavy head, the turtle-neck of his posture exaggerated as he stared at his feet, legs feeling like their bones had suddenly been extracted. His throat felt swollen and spongey, breath occasionally shuddering. The trill carried on in his speech.
"It's...affectionate, and partial. Wh-whether you deem it as irrational or not...on m-my part, it's not as though...in twenty years...or so, I haven't previously g-given it thought. It's probably more meditated than y-you think. ...It's special." Dist paused, gathering his thoughts again before he resumed. "...The...feeling is hard to describe." Frowning, he slumped somewhat against the wall.
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Special. Hm. That was… astonishingly understandable and coherent. Well, at very least, Dist was talking like a rational human being now, however his breath might come in wizened gasps from his throat.
Brow slightly raised, Jade did something rather astounding himself. He gave a half turn away from the door, signaling that, indeed… if he were going, he would have left already.
“I see..." And perhaps, should those... certain sentiments in question not be at least somewhat apparent, Dist would not be as cancerously effected as he was now. If he hadn't suspected Jade of misleading him, he could react with that perpetual annoyance of his, shaking his firsts and growling ineffectively. Instead, his frailty-- genuine frailty, now-- and the frankness of his speech proved the fondness was there. He had been let down from a high point, rather then from no point at all.
"Then I suppose.... you have proven it." A long moment in which Jade noted it was mildly too nippy in the room. "...I apologize."
Gasp and Shock.
But pronounced, not whispered. Nothing subtle about the apology. In this case, this had not been something he'd meant to rob Dist of.
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An advantage to this state was perhaps that he didn't overdecorate his language with flowery, needless things that made him habitually difficult to take seriously, and rather, in this scary exposure, though the words came out slowly, the meanings were a little more pin-point.
It actually triggered a strange reaction. Dist hung his head again and laughed somewhat(he had a habit of laughing at inappropriate times, but Jade couldn't point any fingers) before he squirmed against the wall until his legs were straight. He paused, raising his head with a sniffle, but a slow smile managed to stretch itself along his face. Obviously partially recovered, he still had a bit of a tremor, and the smile was much less of a sneer than its usual. Less lopsided, on that note; less deranged and more real.
Even if he'd been rejected and lead on, at least Dist had managed to make his point. So long as it wasn't completely meaningless a sacrifice, Dist felt reassured. He wasn't sure how he'd convinced Jade after all, but supposed he'd managed to at least describe it somewhat accurately to get his point across.
Typically, Dist would retort with a 'you should be' or 'of course you are' in his haughtiness, but rather not having the energy to put up his usual defiance, sighed through his smile, eyes lidding partially. Even if Dist were to say 'it's okay,' Jade might offer him more contrary. But who cared. Dist won this time, which definately made it forgivable. Ohoho. "...It's okay."
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Adorable Dist icon, Wut? =.x *waves and hearts and shared cookies. Hoh~*]
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Ohoho, yes, I whipped it up just for the occasion. -eats said cookies and waves back!- ♥ A good sleep to you.]
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