(no subject)
I got really drunk last night with Cristy, Matt and Ish, and it was alright, but it didn't help anything, I stiil want to kill myself. I'm sorry for waking Rachel up last night, but we were drinking and drunk people tend to get loud. Anyway, Cristy and I had a nice talk last night after we started to sober up, and I am really going to miss her. I know that she's only going to be a phone call away, but still, I'm going to miss waking up to see her everyday, as well as all the good times that we have together, but I guess that I'll have to deal for the time being. Whatever. I guess that I get to live with Matt and Brian for a little while, which is cool, I guess... I'm still not sure how this is going to work out... and it worries me to no end. I am still on the edge, and trying my hardest not to freak out. It doesn't matter how hard I try, every time I get things settled, someone or something comes along and fucks shit up. I am tired of being in this position, but there's nothing I can really do about this, oh well. Murphy's Law follows me like a like a loyal pet, and I need to get away from everything for a while. Why is it that it's always like this?