i'm pretty much a 12-year-old girl.
I am not a fan of horror movies. Blood and gore does not excite me, I do not enjoy being scared, and I usually like my movies based on their plot, and let's face it, few horror movies have a decent (or even plausible) plot.
However, I lost a game of mini-putt and my fiancé got to pick a movie. He picked Freddy vs. Jason. I managed to weasel my way out of watching it for about a week, but eventually gave in and we watched it the other night.
I covered my eyes during the excessive gore but managed to sit through it without an ordeal, much unlike the original Saw, where I pussied out after the razorwire fat guy scene.
I was a little proud of myself when the credits started rolling for sitting through it, but that vanished as soon as I realized I had to go to bed. And likely dream. Of Freddy Kruger. Getting me in my sleep. And to make matters worse, my cute fiancé was not tired. FUCK.
I made my man watch TV in the bedroom while I tried to sleep, and tried to reason with myself:
Freddy Kruger isn't real. But neither are my dreams, and regardless, I can still feel pain in my dreams.
My fiancé can wake me up if I have a nightmare. But only it's obvious in the real world that I'm having a nightmare.
Freddy Kruger only killed teenagers. Except for that one chick's mom. Never mind.
Freddy Kruger feeds off fear, so if I'm not afraid -- yeah, OK, like I can just make myself not scared.
I came up with more reasons, but the problem was, even if they were logical, once I started to get sleepy and a bit incoherent, all logic and reason went out the window. I ended up sitting in bed and smoking and I realized I would need to use "dream logic."
I decided if Freddy Kruger appeared in my dream, I would summon my fiancé into my dream and he would just fight him off for me. That, or I'd summon a fucking unicorn and ride it away.
But trying to control my dreams can be a hit or miss, it's no sure thing.
Fuck.
After spending a rather unreasonable amount of time debating how to handle the situation, I finally settled on I AM A FUCKING ADULT WHO HAS LIVED ON MY OWN FOR YEARS AND SHOULD CLEARLY BE ABLE TO HANDLE SOME STUPID HORROR MOVIE AIMED AT TEENAGERS.
I fell asleep.
In the middle of the night, my apartment all dark and spooky, I heard crying. I was instantly out of bed, my hand on the doorknob about to venture out of the safety of my bedroom, and suddenly I stopped. Am I dreaming?
Here's a hint: if you have to ask, you're clearly dreaming.
I crawled back into bed, cuddled into my fiancé, and kept saying to myself, "I want to wake up, I want to wake up, I want to wake up," until my dream eventually passed (or at least, I can't remember anymore) into some dream about pot-bellied pigs.
I win.
However, I lost a game of mini-putt and my fiancé got to pick a movie. He picked Freddy vs. Jason. I managed to weasel my way out of watching it for about a week, but eventually gave in and we watched it the other night.
I covered my eyes during the excessive gore but managed to sit through it without an ordeal, much unlike the original Saw, where I pussied out after the razorwire fat guy scene.
I was a little proud of myself when the credits started rolling for sitting through it, but that vanished as soon as I realized I had to go to bed. And likely dream. Of Freddy Kruger. Getting me in my sleep. And to make matters worse, my cute fiancé was not tired. FUCK.
I made my man watch TV in the bedroom while I tried to sleep, and tried to reason with myself:
Freddy Kruger isn't real. But neither are my dreams, and regardless, I can still feel pain in my dreams.
My fiancé can wake me up if I have a nightmare. But only it's obvious in the real world that I'm having a nightmare.
Freddy Kruger only killed teenagers. Except for that one chick's mom. Never mind.
Freddy Kruger feeds off fear, so if I'm not afraid -- yeah, OK, like I can just make myself not scared.
I came up with more reasons, but the problem was, even if they were logical, once I started to get sleepy and a bit incoherent, all logic and reason went out the window. I ended up sitting in bed and smoking and I realized I would need to use "dream logic."
I decided if Freddy Kruger appeared in my dream, I would summon my fiancé into my dream and he would just fight him off for me. That, or I'd summon a fucking unicorn and ride it away.
But trying to control my dreams can be a hit or miss, it's no sure thing.
Fuck.
After spending a rather unreasonable amount of time debating how to handle the situation, I finally settled on I AM A FUCKING ADULT WHO HAS LIVED ON MY OWN FOR YEARS AND SHOULD CLEARLY BE ABLE TO HANDLE SOME STUPID HORROR MOVIE AIMED AT TEENAGERS.
I fell asleep.
In the middle of the night, my apartment all dark and spooky, I heard crying. I was instantly out of bed, my hand on the doorknob about to venture out of the safety of my bedroom, and suddenly I stopped. Am I dreaming?
Here's a hint: if you have to ask, you're clearly dreaming.
I crawled back into bed, cuddled into my fiancé, and kept saying to myself, "I want to wake up, I want to wake up, I want to wake up," until my dream eventually passed (or at least, I can't remember anymore) into some dream about pot-bellied pigs.
I win.