November has been long.
November has been long. The days have dragged on and on, the number of tasks that must be completed immediately is always insurmountable, the big projects that I had hoped to be working on and getting a good chunk finished have been pushed aside to deal with the mundane. It has been hard to summon the energy and enthusiasm to teach effectively. I find myself jaded and cynical about the prospects of some of the students, partially due to their own shortcomings and entitlement issues, partially due to my inability to overcome the doldrums that have swamped me.
Part is the loss of daylight hours. While it is wonderful to drive into work with the sun risen and melting the patterns of ice from my car windows, at the end of the day it is dark. Sometimes dark and cold. I am retreating from the winter, my mind and my passion and my energy hibernating until spring comes again.
I don't like it.
Part is that I'm always just so, so tired. Finding myself daydreaming about sleep during meetings or sinking into the couch after dinner and then not moving. My mind flits from idea to idea, unable to rest, unable to finish, unable to grasp coherence. And I feel drained as if I could sleep and sleep and sleep until March. Or April.
Yet sleeping is uneasy, filled with weird and vaguely disturbing or frightening or just plain annoying dreams. Dreams about school, about work, about the boys, about our home...
November has been long, and hard. I am anticipating the winter will be long and hard too. I am looking forward to spring.
Part is the loss of daylight hours. While it is wonderful to drive into work with the sun risen and melting the patterns of ice from my car windows, at the end of the day it is dark. Sometimes dark and cold. I am retreating from the winter, my mind and my passion and my energy hibernating until spring comes again.
I don't like it.
Part is that I'm always just so, so tired. Finding myself daydreaming about sleep during meetings or sinking into the couch after dinner and then not moving. My mind flits from idea to idea, unable to rest, unable to finish, unable to grasp coherence. And I feel drained as if I could sleep and sleep and sleep until March. Or April.
Yet sleeping is uneasy, filled with weird and vaguely disturbing or frightening or just plain annoying dreams. Dreams about school, about work, about the boys, about our home...
November has been long, and hard. I am anticipating the winter will be long and hard too. I am looking forward to spring.