Decompression
Do you ever get to the point where you're just so stressed it literally feels like your brain will explode out of your skull?
...
Yeah, I'm there. It's day 2 of Spring Break and I'm working from home (and taking a break right now) because Ben and I have dentist appointments later this morning. I brought a ton of grading home with me yesterday because it just didn't make sense to drive into work just to drive back to daycare, then to the dentist, and then back to campus. Besides, maybe if I'm super productive for the next hour or so (unlikely, but still...) I can take a "real" break this afternoon and you know, fold some laundry or empty the dishwasher.
Such is this life.
I went through something similar to this last year during the exact same time period-- March is a freakin' terrible time in terms of workload issues. Last year I was a bit more manic and panicked at all turns, frantically trying to prepare for two or three new courses I'd never touched before. This year I internalized it a lot more, even though the frenetic, manic pace was still as intense. I don't know which was more stressful-- to cry about it all the time and worry out loud, or to keep it all bottled inside and feel the anxiety building in my very bones. I don't suppose either is particularly healthy.
...
At the same time, though, I'm incredibly grateful for a job where I love what I'm doing, I love the people I work with, and I love interacting with the students who have bright and exciting careers shaping up for them. I am incredibly honored and touched when they ask me for letters of recommendation-- like they think I know them well enough to help them succeed in obtaining interviews or admissions to graduate school or internships... I hope I'm doing right by them.
I hope that I am inspiring them to keep asking questions, to keep critically thinking and analyzing everything (in science, in the world, in their individual experiences), that I'm enthusiastic enough about a particular subject to warrant their interest and possibly help them identify what really makes them tick and what they want to explore.
I hope that I'm a trustworthy sounding board that is approachable to discuss their hopes and dreams because man is it awe-inspiring when they discuss what their goals are.
I didn't know this was what I truly wanted to do with my life until now I'm here in the middle of it and I wouldn't change a thing.
...
Yeah, I'm there. It's day 2 of Spring Break and I'm working from home (and taking a break right now) because Ben and I have dentist appointments later this morning. I brought a ton of grading home with me yesterday because it just didn't make sense to drive into work just to drive back to daycare, then to the dentist, and then back to campus. Besides, maybe if I'm super productive for the next hour or so (unlikely, but still...) I can take a "real" break this afternoon and you know, fold some laundry or empty the dishwasher.
Such is this life.
I went through something similar to this last year during the exact same time period-- March is a freakin' terrible time in terms of workload issues. Last year I was a bit more manic and panicked at all turns, frantically trying to prepare for two or three new courses I'd never touched before. This year I internalized it a lot more, even though the frenetic, manic pace was still as intense. I don't know which was more stressful-- to cry about it all the time and worry out loud, or to keep it all bottled inside and feel the anxiety building in my very bones. I don't suppose either is particularly healthy.
...
At the same time, though, I'm incredibly grateful for a job where I love what I'm doing, I love the people I work with, and I love interacting with the students who have bright and exciting careers shaping up for them. I am incredibly honored and touched when they ask me for letters of recommendation-- like they think I know them well enough to help them succeed in obtaining interviews or admissions to graduate school or internships... I hope I'm doing right by them.
I hope that I am inspiring them to keep asking questions, to keep critically thinking and analyzing everything (in science, in the world, in their individual experiences), that I'm enthusiastic enough about a particular subject to warrant their interest and possibly help them identify what really makes them tick and what they want to explore.
I hope that I'm a trustworthy sounding board that is approachable to discuss their hopes and dreams because man is it awe-inspiring when they discuss what their goals are.
I didn't know this was what I truly wanted to do with my life until now I'm here in the middle of it and I wouldn't change a thing.