Be a better person
I've resolved to start reaching out to people and making contacts, being the initiator. I was sitting back, letting life grab hold of me and wring me around, barely keeping my head above water as I navigated the daily chores and responsibilities that come with parenting and school. But I've noticed that I haven't really spoken to anyone besides my work friends, family, and Jake in the past few months. Things are happening in my girls' lives back in NY and there are things that make me worried. I want to reach out to them and talk with them, make sure they're ok.
There are people locally that I need to send thank-you cards to (about a month and a half overdue) and should visit as they have a new baby as well. There are people that I'm hoping to meet for the first time. But I've been taking the lazy way out, hoping that people would read my mind and contact me who has been so bogged down in the baby business.
I realized a couple days ago that I couldn't just sit back and let this time pass me by, that I needed to reach out to people of my own accord and be the first person to contact in a while. So, during my last 15 minutes of commuting last night, I called one of my girls from home. She couldn't pick up her phone, but I left a message and will try again tonight. Or I'll call another one of my girlfriends and see how her little baby is growing. I haven't spoken to her since August! Or I can call yet another girlfriend, who had some medical issues recently and I want to check in on to see if she's ok.
I have to be willing and capable of sustaining these relationships and not put the responsibility on everyone else to contact me. In the first place, that's very selfish of me and I don't like the way that makes me feel. In the second place, I care about these people and I know they would be pleased to have a call from me and know that I care. Or care more, anyway, than just a quick note on facebook, which in my opinion is barely making contact at all.
I know now that life is not going to get any easier in the near future. I'm always going to have the chores that threaten to overwhelm me at the end of a long day, I'm always going to have just one more experiment I'd like to run at work, I'm always going to be a parent. That doesn't absolve me from wallowing in my busy-ness and neglecting other crucial aspects of my life. So I'm just going to carve out a few minutes a day or a chunk of time on the weekends with which to re-connect with people, to make plans, to be a more active friend. The people who are most important to me deserve this. They deserve to know how much I care about them and they need to see that I've not abandoned them now that I'm a mama.
So, Manimal: I'm going to try to call you again tonight. I'm worried about the status you've been leaving on facebook and hope that you're doing all right.
Rose: I need to call you and catch up on how big Andrew's gotten! Is he rolling over yet? Is he talking to you and growing super big like Ben?
Andi: We need to catch up, girl! I want to hear all about your recent dates and your trip to the ER a while ago, and just... everything. Talk my ear off, I want to hear it!
Grace: I'm messaging you today (!) and we should totally meet. I want to meet you and your sweet baby girl. I feel like I already know you, but meeting face-to-face would be that much better.
Jenny: You deserve a thank-you note for the outfit you sent to Ben a while ago. I also need to get a welcoming gift for your new daughter and hopefully visit you in the coming weeks to see her before she's outgrown the newborn stage.
Jennie: I said that it's our turn to visit you and I intend to hold up on that promise! We'll be down to Bowling Green sometime, I'm not sure exactly when, but I do want to see you again! It's been too long.
There are a million other people who should get individual lines in this post about what I need to be doing to reconnect with you, but for now just know that you're on my mind. Hopefully we can reconnect in the coming weeks, especially once my seminar is over, and strengthen our friendships. :-)
There are people locally that I need to send thank-you cards to (about a month and a half overdue) and should visit as they have a new baby as well. There are people that I'm hoping to meet for the first time. But I've been taking the lazy way out, hoping that people would read my mind and contact me who has been so bogged down in the baby business.
I realized a couple days ago that I couldn't just sit back and let this time pass me by, that I needed to reach out to people of my own accord and be the first person to contact in a while. So, during my last 15 minutes of commuting last night, I called one of my girls from home. She couldn't pick up her phone, but I left a message and will try again tonight. Or I'll call another one of my girlfriends and see how her little baby is growing. I haven't spoken to her since August! Or I can call yet another girlfriend, who had some medical issues recently and I want to check in on to see if she's ok.
I have to be willing and capable of sustaining these relationships and not put the responsibility on everyone else to contact me. In the first place, that's very selfish of me and I don't like the way that makes me feel. In the second place, I care about these people and I know they would be pleased to have a call from me and know that I care. Or care more, anyway, than just a quick note on facebook, which in my opinion is barely making contact at all.
I know now that life is not going to get any easier in the near future. I'm always going to have the chores that threaten to overwhelm me at the end of a long day, I'm always going to have just one more experiment I'd like to run at work, I'm always going to be a parent. That doesn't absolve me from wallowing in my busy-ness and neglecting other crucial aspects of my life. So I'm just going to carve out a few minutes a day or a chunk of time on the weekends with which to re-connect with people, to make plans, to be a more active friend. The people who are most important to me deserve this. They deserve to know how much I care about them and they need to see that I've not abandoned them now that I'm a mama.
So, Manimal: I'm going to try to call you again tonight. I'm worried about the status you've been leaving on facebook and hope that you're doing all right.
Rose: I need to call you and catch up on how big Andrew's gotten! Is he rolling over yet? Is he talking to you and growing super big like Ben?
Andi: We need to catch up, girl! I want to hear all about your recent dates and your trip to the ER a while ago, and just... everything. Talk my ear off, I want to hear it!
Grace: I'm messaging you today (!) and we should totally meet. I want to meet you and your sweet baby girl. I feel like I already know you, but meeting face-to-face would be that much better.
Jenny: You deserve a thank-you note for the outfit you sent to Ben a while ago. I also need to get a welcoming gift for your new daughter and hopefully visit you in the coming weeks to see her before she's outgrown the newborn stage.
Jennie: I said that it's our turn to visit you and I intend to hold up on that promise! We'll be down to Bowling Green sometime, I'm not sure exactly when, but I do want to see you again! It's been too long.
There are a million other people who should get individual lines in this post about what I need to be doing to reconnect with you, but for now just know that you're on my mind. Hopefully we can reconnect in the coming weeks, especially once my seminar is over, and strengthen our friendships. :-)