In Which PN Has A Late-Night Feels Attack
Wow. I just read (or rather, half-read and abandoned) the first angst fic that I couldn't physically get through because it hurt too much. I'm still reeling from it right now. As someone who often reads fic about some dark stuff; sickfic, H/C, and all that jazz, that felt quite strange. It wasn't even about a topic that hit particularly close to home. It was set in a future where the Winchesters are retired and in their 40s. Sam gets very ill - like terminal illness ill.
Perhaps I just can't digest the idea of a retired Winchester. Clearly they're going to have to stop doing what they do someday, but the main theme of SPN is that they save people and hunt things. That's what they do. So I don't know, it was just too much, the mere possibility of retirement embodied in fic. It was like they weren't them anymore, just wispy, grey shadows of what they were. It made me very sad. From what I read of it, it was very well-written, though. I wish I could get through it - I'm sure it was very beautiful in its entirety.
I think I'm also a lot more afraid of growing old(er) than I like to admit. Which I suppose is kind of silly considering I'm still 22, but then again, 22 is big. I'm not a college student anymore, I'm starting work in a matter of weeks. Change is necessary, but scary.
Perhaps I just can't digest the idea of a retired Winchester. Clearly they're going to have to stop doing what they do someday, but the main theme of SPN is that they save people and hunt things. That's what they do. So I don't know, it was just too much, the mere possibility of retirement embodied in fic. It was like they weren't them anymore, just wispy, grey shadows of what they were. It made me very sad. From what I read of it, it was very well-written, though. I wish I could get through it - I'm sure it was very beautiful in its entirety.
I think I'm also a lot more afraid of growing old(er) than I like to admit. Which I suppose is kind of silly considering I'm still 22, but then again, 22 is big. I'm not a college student anymore, I'm starting work in a matter of weeks. Change is necessary, but scary.