BSG Fic: Law of Parsimony Chapter 1: Nothing is Accidental
The first chapter of a BSG fic. It's about a couple of friends on the ship prior to the attack. Expect crushes, crashes, long sleeved shirts and singing.
Edit 18 Feb: I really did intend for this to be a series, but I fell off the BSG bandwagon, and then by the time I got back on, I had moved onto other projects. So, basically don't expect a new chapter, but one day I might get back to it :)
"Having fun yet?" Fern joked, our footsteps echoing in the metallic hallway. Bodies jostled by us, eager for the tour of the relic.
"Oh yeah, you know how much rusty old warships get me going," I rolled my eyes dramatically. Honestly, why my parents thought this would be a good 18th birthday outing is anyone's guess."
"You are considering a military job though, so it makes sense when you think of it like that," my best friend pointed out.
I pulled a face. "Not as a frakking pilot. You know I hate war. Secretary, chef, a job out of the firing line."
The blonde scoffed. "Chef? I'm not sure any of these commanders want their crew fatally poisoned."
The shrimpy, clean-cut man giving the tour paused just outside a large, hexagonal door marked with the word 'CIC'.
"This is the cerebral cortex of the Galactica," Doral said with unbridled excitement. How could that guy keep up this enthusiasm on every tour? "The commander can normally be found in here, though of course today he is busy preparing for the decommissioning ceremony. But there are several other integral members of the crew just beyond these doors. And if you're lucky, maybe some of them will talk to you about life on the Battlestar Galactica." He put on a pleading expression. "Just please don't bug them too much, okay people?" With a round of nodding from the tourists, Doral opened the door.
It was like I had been shrunk to the size of a dust mite, and blown into the guts of a computer. Bright, flashing lights permeated the space, control panels and monitors in every corner. The grey welded walls and lack of daylight made me feel like I was in a submarine- but of course we weren't. We were floating hundreds of klicks from the surface of Caprica, my home planet.
People in dark, official uniforms, wearing the classic military insignia of a phoenix, were scattered around the room, some typing, some scribbling on clipboards, all seemingly busy. I didn't feel right bugging these hard-working people. I glanced over to Doral, to evaluate whether we'd be moving to a different room, but he was engaged in a seemingly one-sided conversation with a dark-skinned woman. She was fiddling with some switches, the only reply she was giving was vague nods.
"Pretty cool, eh? It reminds me of Man Vs Cylon, that video game I was playing last week. Its so weird actually being on a ship like the one I commanded in that game." Fern grinned, ravaging the room with her gamer-tinted eyes.
"You don't get resets on a real war-ship, though," I pointed out, to which she pouted.
I stepped over to a big glassy board. Luminous yellow lines showed technical shapes and arrows, none of which I could make sense out of. I raised a hand, to touch the screen, when a deep voice interrupted me. "You break it, you buy it, Lacey."
I spun on my heels and was face to face with a familiar man. Curly hair, kind smile.
"Felix!" I squealed, and threw my arms around him. For several moment we held each other, but then Fern cleared her throat, ruining the mood. I extricated myself, smiling. "Fern, you remember Felix, right?"
She scratched her chin, squinting. "Felix... Oh, that sad little nerd who was best friends with your brother?"
I smacked her arm. She grinned obnoxiously at him, ignoring me. "Long time no see, Toothpicks."
"I haven't been called Toothpicks in years," he commented nostalgically.
"Well, no wonder. Look at you!" I grabbed his bicep to illustrate. "You finally bulked up!" He pushed my hand off playfully. "All those hearty rations, y'know."
"Ladies and gentlemen, time for us to move on. We need to get settled in the converted hanger deck for the ceremony!" Doral seemed to have finally given up on the busy woman. With less enthusiasm than he'd had upon arrival, he waved the crowd over.
"Looks like I've gotta go," I said regretfully. Felix frowned. "But it's been, what? Six years? We have to catch up."
I peeked over my shoulder, where the tourists were filing out slowly. "The short story: school, boredom, and rain. You haven't missed much."
"Why don't you come to the ceremony with us?"Fern suggested.
"Can't," he sighed. "I have to clean my control panel."
"What else is new," my friend joked, raising her eyebrows theatrically. Once again I smacked her, before turning back to Felix. "I'll try and sneak back here after all the boring speeches are over."
"Hey, you two kids! Come on, we're going to be late!" The tour guide shouted, to which we grimaced.
"See ya later," I smirked at Felix. Fern raised a hand goodbye, and then we both ran to catch up with the crowd.
As soon as we found the herd, Fern gave me a knowing look.
"What?" I asked. She placed a hand on my shoulder, and smiled. "Darling, I hope you were not trying to be subtle, because I do believe you failed."
"I have no idea what you mean," I protested, but she shook her head. "I know you had a huge crush on him back in the 7th grade. Whenever your brother and him hung out, you'd always find a way to tag along, and drag me with you. But hey, as long as I got to ogle Brad, I wasn't going to say anything."
I covered my ears. "No no, I don't want to hear about you mentally raping my brother, that is so wrong!"
"Lords of Kobol, calm down," Fern removed my hands from around my head. "Forget about me and Brad, this is about you and Felix." A flash of realisation came across Ferm. "Could this be the reason why you want a military job, even though your a war-hater?"
I scoffed, choking slightly ay the end. "That is absolutely ridiculous. I want a job in the military because of the, what you call it, financial benefits."
"Something tells me those aren't the only benefits you're after," Fern elbowed me. I sighed dramatically, just as we entered the area for the ceremony.
"Folding chairs, how luxurious," I commented.
We sat in those seats for an hour at least, listening to has-beens in suits talk about how this decommissioning was a good thing for the colonies, for the schools. Financial opportunity, educational opportunities. I couldn't even fall asleep, the chair was jabbing into my back.
Fern and I muttered jokes to each other, once we were in agreement that we had been good and paid attention for long enough.
"Check out Mr Doral, he looks like he wants to rip the mike out of that old codger's hand," I giggled. Doral was wearing a pleased face, that didn't really mask his impatience at the current speaker, who had to be at least in his eighties.
"Doesn't look like he'll have long to wait then. The poor bloke looks ready to keel over."
We politely applauded, and after what felt like decades, it was time for the 'ultimate' speaker. Doral prattled an introduction, trying to whip up the crowd, who were all tired and bored by that point, into some kind of excitement. 'Admiral Bill Adama!"
"Oh, that man needs help," I hissed. "His face...what's holding it together?"
"Reminds me of a moon that came off worse against an asteroid field," Fern replied, smirking evilly. "Now we know why there aren't any male models off fighting against Sagittarians."
We continued pettily insulting the speaker, before he finally left the stage.
"I've got another group in five minutes," Doral worried, sheparding my group across the ship to our shuttle. "Keep moving, keep moving."
"Great," I mumbled, my eyes drooping. "We'll be waiting another half an hour while the shuttle gets all its settings set. "
Fern jabbed me in the side. "Time to go and see your lover boy?"
I batted her away, "Shut up. Besides, I don't even know if I could find the CIC."
"That's why the Gods invented maps," Fern waved a folded up sheet of paper in front of my eyes.
"Okay, we have a map, but how are we going to get away from the mother hen?" I eyed Doral, who was leading the group, but constantly glancing around, as if he expected someone to try and hijack us.
"Piece of cake," Fern grinned. She skipped up to Doral, put on an expression liken to a wounded puppy, and trembled, "Mr Doral sir? I think I left my glasses in the hanger deck."
Doral gave her a condescending look. "I believe I told everyone to make sure they had all their belongings with them."
She bowed her head. "I'm really very sorry, sir. Could I please just quickly run back and get them? It'll only take a minute, I promise."
He sighed reluctantly. "Do you know the way back to your shuttle?" She nodded feverishly. A moment later, Fern came back, grabbed my hand, and pulled me away from the herd of tourists. "C'mon sis, we need to get my glasses!"
"Sis? We're not even the same ethnicity!" I giggled. "Poor Doral must be pretty fried."
"Shut up and run, you know if we miss that flight we'll be worse than dead, so let's have our few pretty words with your flame, make sure he knows where to contact you for future rendezvous, then hightail it back to Caprica."
"Sounds like a plan," I smiled. "Thanks for doing this for me."
"That's what best friends do."