Stupid bugs. And mosquitos
I currently have 10 mosquito bites on my body. This is irksome. So to keep from itching like a 5 year old with chicken pox I'm taking the opportunity to write a bit.
In the past month I have lost my job (there's work to do! But we have no money to pay you! Thanks for 3 years of putting up with us! Bye!) gotten a new job (as assitant everything at the orchard where I'm doing dinner theatre...and now costumes...and helping teach 90 children to make ice cream...)
I think I'll jump in with that. You know how much I LOVE children(in a light, crunchy tempura or sassy BBQ sauce...) But since I've previously been a tour guide, I kind of know what to do with these crazy field trips. (this is also where I got the mosquito bites. The Enchanted Forest is full of enchanted bugs who, given fairy dust and opportunity would carry me away to their lair where, She-lob like, they've suck out my blood, marrow, and likely hairspray to feed their rotten offspring.) Friday we have this group of rotten children, running screaming, and generally being naughty.
Now I'd only done prep for this (getting 95 plastic bags full of sugar, vanilla and milk ready for them to throw around with ice to make a bag full o' ice cream) and was happily sewing away up in the costume shop when the other director came to me and said "I can't handle them anymore, will you finish up the group?"
"Sure!" I said, team player that I am, "What do you need?"
"I grabbed the other two outside workers to help you, but they need to do ice cream."
So I gird my loins for battle and march outside. The little monsters are running around, screaming, punching each other while the teachers sit helplessly by. Any moment I expect them to be tied up and sacrificed to the god of rotten children. So I grab a bullhorn, hop up on a table and yell,
"LISTEN UP! Who here likes ICE CREAM?"
90 little voice scream "WE DO!"
"Alright then! If you want ice cream sit down and be quiet, cause if you don't you won't get any! If you don't listen to me and it doesn't turn out, you won't get any cause we've only got enough for you to try once" A lie. I prpared 5 extra bags but I kind of hope one or two of them will be for Tour Guide Caitlin to enjoy...
"You will line up in an orderly fashion dismissed by your teachers, I will put you in groups and you will do this together. If you don't do it as I say, it won't work and I won't feel bad."
I proceed to demonstrate.
with military precision children are lined up, get their bags, throw them around and get ice cream. We had one bag break(it happens) and a few get too salty but aside from that, done in 15 minutes.
Afterwards the teachers came up to me "Do you have kids? You have such a way with them, we couldn't get them to be quiet all morning."
Apparently all you have to do is be an ogre.
Excuse me, now, I need to go back to my cave and get some anti-itch cream...
-Caitlin
In the past month I have lost my job (there's work to do! But we have no money to pay you! Thanks for 3 years of putting up with us! Bye!) gotten a new job (as assitant everything at the orchard where I'm doing dinner theatre...and now costumes...and helping teach 90 children to make ice cream...)
I think I'll jump in with that. You know how much I LOVE children(in a light, crunchy tempura or sassy BBQ sauce...) But since I've previously been a tour guide, I kind of know what to do with these crazy field trips. (this is also where I got the mosquito bites. The Enchanted Forest is full of enchanted bugs who, given fairy dust and opportunity would carry me away to their lair where, She-lob like, they've suck out my blood, marrow, and likely hairspray to feed their rotten offspring.) Friday we have this group of rotten children, running screaming, and generally being naughty.
Now I'd only done prep for this (getting 95 plastic bags full of sugar, vanilla and milk ready for them to throw around with ice to make a bag full o' ice cream) and was happily sewing away up in the costume shop when the other director came to me and said "I can't handle them anymore, will you finish up the group?"
"Sure!" I said, team player that I am, "What do you need?"
"I grabbed the other two outside workers to help you, but they need to do ice cream."
So I gird my loins for battle and march outside. The little monsters are running around, screaming, punching each other while the teachers sit helplessly by. Any moment I expect them to be tied up and sacrificed to the god of rotten children. So I grab a bullhorn, hop up on a table and yell,
"LISTEN UP! Who here likes ICE CREAM?"
90 little voice scream "WE DO!"
"Alright then! If you want ice cream sit down and be quiet, cause if you don't you won't get any! If you don't listen to me and it doesn't turn out, you won't get any cause we've only got enough for you to try once" A lie. I prpared 5 extra bags but I kind of hope one or two of them will be for Tour Guide Caitlin to enjoy...
"You will line up in an orderly fashion dismissed by your teachers, I will put you in groups and you will do this together. If you don't do it as I say, it won't work and I won't feel bad."
I proceed to demonstrate.
with military precision children are lined up, get their bags, throw them around and get ice cream. We had one bag break(it happens) and a few get too salty but aside from that, done in 15 minutes.
Afterwards the teachers came up to me "Do you have kids? You have such a way with them, we couldn't get them to be quiet all morning."
Apparently all you have to do is be an ogre.
Excuse me, now, I need to go back to my cave and get some anti-itch cream...
-Caitlin