Tracks will fade in the snow...you won't find me here...
So...today was had suck written all over it. I swear to the gods, I almost fricken lost it today. I remember at lunch, people were agitating me, and the little intelligent insults rolled off my tongue, sharp and deadly, with a power and intelligence I wasn't even aware I had.
((Oh, found out yesterday that Jamie got into Dessert Theater. Excuse me while I kill myself.))
My parents are driving me up the wall with this Algebra 2 thing. Gary admitted, even though I already KNEW this, that he was trying to live the life he didn't have academically with math through me. And I kept telling him--I don't get this class. LOOK AT MY OTHER GRADES!! 97 Bio, 97 Band, 99 Gym. I mean COME ON. Basically, he thought I was "giving up". Before he said that, though, he was like, "Well, it just seems that you're taking a defeatist's attitude and accepting mediocure." And I flipped out on him, because my History teacher just got done DOWNING us today, saying the same exact thing. I'm sorry, but what if I'm FINE with being mediocure for math. I DON'T GIVE A FUCK, I JUST WANT TO PASS. There, I got it the fuck out. I'm getting so sick and tired of Gary acting like I'm not trying, like I'm not trying to get help. PLEASE. School is different and more difficult then it was in YOUR DAY, even my mom admitted that. And apparently, I get my math and history stupidity genetically from my mom, so she was sitting there arguing back with him. So altogether, a good hour was just WASTED.
Ali's mom is being a psycopath. My other friends are losing. I'M losing it. And I can barely stand to eat anymore. Hate is growing more and more, bigger and bigger.
I want everything bad to go away and I want to never eat again and I want someone to hold me.
But I'll never have that. Who'd hold me? I can only last so long without food. There's always something bad happening to me.
The world just gave me the middle finger and said:
FUCK
YOU!!!!
((Oh, found out yesterday that Jamie got into Dessert Theater. Excuse me while I kill myself.))
My parents are driving me up the wall with this Algebra 2 thing. Gary admitted, even though I already KNEW this, that he was trying to live the life he didn't have academically with math through me. And I kept telling him--I don't get this class. LOOK AT MY OTHER GRADES!! 97 Bio, 97 Band, 99 Gym. I mean COME ON. Basically, he thought I was "giving up". Before he said that, though, he was like, "Well, it just seems that you're taking a defeatist's attitude and accepting mediocure." And I flipped out on him, because my History teacher just got done DOWNING us today, saying the same exact thing. I'm sorry, but what if I'm FINE with being mediocure for math. I DON'T GIVE A FUCK, I JUST WANT TO PASS. There, I got it the fuck out. I'm getting so sick and tired of Gary acting like I'm not trying, like I'm not trying to get help. PLEASE. School is different and more difficult then it was in YOUR DAY, even my mom admitted that. And apparently, I get my math and history stupidity genetically from my mom, so she was sitting there arguing back with him. So altogether, a good hour was just WASTED.
Ali's mom is being a psycopath. My other friends are losing. I'M losing it. And I can barely stand to eat anymore. Hate is growing more and more, bigger and bigger.
I want everything bad to go away and I want to never eat again and I want someone to hold me.
But I'll never have that. Who'd hold me? I can only last so long without food. There's always something bad happening to me.
The world just gave me the middle finger and said:
FUCK
YOU!!!!