Just Ranting. Don't comment and make me feel worse please
I just saw my highschool's performance of Greece. It was absolutely great it just brought up so much.
Mon and Meaghan were supposed to come with Me and Christie. They PROMISED. They knew this meant something to me, but Meaghan had to ask Mon to go to Ultimate Billards tonight, totally forgetting about my promise. I told Mon and she's like let me call Meaghan and find out and I'll call you right back. 7 hours later and she hasn't called. When Meag asks me over tomarrow, I;ll ask if she really wants me to come, if she says yes then I will say good, I'm not comming, because I really wanted you to do something for me and you couldn't do it. Fucking Bitch.
Like the Musical last year. I saw Rich's dad at Subway tonight and said he was gonna see the musical tonight with Kim. I saw Kim there and Christie said she looked right at us so she saw us too...It made me think of what Kim did to me. Christie asked why I didn't jump on stage an attack her and I said my frist instinct was shock. How could my best friend of 11 years do this to me and I cried. I also thought about how Erica didn't come out after me, she told me she couldn't or she would be hated by the Pit, I said I forgave her but true forgiveness is forgetting. And she said she was going to be in the Musical tonight but she wasn't! Where was she?
Anyway I thought about who I was in highschool. Who I knew. My memories. And now, I mean nothing. Nothing to them. When I went to Stage Door the Drama Production a few months ago I went after the show to say hi to people. Got a Hi, asked how I was, and then basically moved on to the next person. The year before I was LOVED. I knew everyone, everyone knew me, and I meant something to them. How can going to another school make me so invisble to them? Make them forget basically all about me. Why does everything have to change and not for the better? I think to myself why didn't I keep in contact with everyone, I dunno, I wanted to, at least I think I did. How can it be so hard to hang out with someone? Maybe they wanted to forget me. They don't see me on a regular basis so who cares, huh? That's what most of the people in my life have been like. Friends for a while, and then drift apart. Why does drifting have to happen? I know why it does, becauses thats life and I don't need people to tell me that life sucks and happens, I know it does. But I can still ask WHY.
I told christie tonight about Chris, about Kim, about all these memories that flooded back. No matter how bad they are they are my memories and I wouldn't ever want to loose them, not that I think I'm going to anytime soon, its just, why does everyone else seem to forget all these memories. If I meant something more to them wouldn't they keep in touch? If they meant something to me, shouldn't I keep in touch? But why don't they? Why don't I? There are just some tmes with all the friends I have, with everyone I talk to, everyone I see, that I just feel so alone.
Mon and Meaghan were supposed to come with Me and Christie. They PROMISED. They knew this meant something to me, but Meaghan had to ask Mon to go to Ultimate Billards tonight, totally forgetting about my promise. I told Mon and she's like let me call Meaghan and find out and I'll call you right back. 7 hours later and she hasn't called. When Meag asks me over tomarrow, I;ll ask if she really wants me to come, if she says yes then I will say good, I'm not comming, because I really wanted you to do something for me and you couldn't do it. Fucking Bitch.
Like the Musical last year. I saw Rich's dad at Subway tonight and said he was gonna see the musical tonight with Kim. I saw Kim there and Christie said she looked right at us so she saw us too...It made me think of what Kim did to me. Christie asked why I didn't jump on stage an attack her and I said my frist instinct was shock. How could my best friend of 11 years do this to me and I cried. I also thought about how Erica didn't come out after me, she told me she couldn't or she would be hated by the Pit, I said I forgave her but true forgiveness is forgetting. And she said she was going to be in the Musical tonight but she wasn't! Where was she?
Anyway I thought about who I was in highschool. Who I knew. My memories. And now, I mean nothing. Nothing to them. When I went to Stage Door the Drama Production a few months ago I went after the show to say hi to people. Got a Hi, asked how I was, and then basically moved on to the next person. The year before I was LOVED. I knew everyone, everyone knew me, and I meant something to them. How can going to another school make me so invisble to them? Make them forget basically all about me. Why does everything have to change and not for the better? I think to myself why didn't I keep in contact with everyone, I dunno, I wanted to, at least I think I did. How can it be so hard to hang out with someone? Maybe they wanted to forget me. They don't see me on a regular basis so who cares, huh? That's what most of the people in my life have been like. Friends for a while, and then drift apart. Why does drifting have to happen? I know why it does, becauses thats life and I don't need people to tell me that life sucks and happens, I know it does. But I can still ask WHY.
I told christie tonight about Chris, about Kim, about all these memories that flooded back. No matter how bad they are they are my memories and I wouldn't ever want to loose them, not that I think I'm going to anytime soon, its just, why does everyone else seem to forget all these memories. If I meant something more to them wouldn't they keep in touch? If they meant something to me, shouldn't I keep in touch? But why don't they? Why don't I? There are just some tmes with all the friends I have, with everyone I talk to, everyone I see, that I just feel so alone.