(no subject)
I often find that a good stiff drink accompanied by the soothing sounds of Rachmagicoff's Disembowelment in B+ Major does the most to calm even the most heightened of nerves. I am, of course, not at all upset for any reason of external significance or international importance whatsoever; in fact, I believe that an unknowing observer might find such a personal upheaval, one that could theoretically result from such a situation -- though it certainly has not -- enough to upset a man from his pillar of sophistication and black robe of Evil while simultaneously inspiring the consummation of much a variety of fine liquor. That I am not at all betraying evidence of the first qualification clearly shows that such a circumstance has not befallen Malfoy Manor and that I am indeed, as stated, merely seeking respite for my heightened nerves.
Of course, this stipulation begs explanation for my heightened nerves. I would assure anyone to whom my writing expresses a semblance of interest that my hours of late have been spent in the close and nearly constant contact of my dearest family. While this does leave open our place of congregation, a fact that I am sure overflows with the blood of suspicion, I must emphasise that no such concern may be validated. It is certainly quite easy to believe that our activities were of a pleasant and controlled nature entirely within our free will. To suggest otherwise would connote an image of the Malfoy name utterly beyond the realms of realistic intellectual reason.
The Outings of Evil, a most constant point of my continued residence in the Manor and consistent interaction with my fellows, have been proceeding in a most pleasing manner. One realises that he is truly making an impact on the world when no longer do bothersome people come whinging about their tortured family members because he thought ahead and devastated them before the event occurred. It is a characteristic such as this that makes my work truly satisfying and heart-warming; the looks upon the faces of those against whom we perform our services is quite rewarding.
It is most interesting to see which method of destruction our patrons prefer; there is a current trend towards quite gaudy displays of Material Mutilation followed by the Parade of Dark and Hello, How May We Pain You Today?, and closing with the classic Scream of Utter Terror. I have a vested interest in following the fluctuations of the Evil Market and have so gained an eye for which methods will become classics and will are merely temporary fads. The Bunny Bombs, for instance, failed to incur the proper physical impact and emotional distress while the Firm Handshake of Evil was never destined to last beyond its solo flight. However, it is always encouraging to see fresh faces enter the industry, and I believe strongly that the young Lotz A. Sharpointythings and his already-popular Stab 3000 will bring a new edge to our technique.
I would also like to proffer a rather straightforward note to Ginny Weasley, the disfigured malignity whose attack upon the Malfoy Manor plagued me with a dreadful case of hives: may a small cloud stalk your steps and bother you with periodic showers, may your quills rise up in revolt and perform a coup d'etat against your education, and may your children be blessed with an overwhelming attraction to constant and extreme vocal emission. I hope you are quite pleased with your actions.
To restate, a literary device I feel most useful when one is trying to emphasise a point -- not, of course, that I am so unsure of my ideas that I feel they may only be underscored into believability if I repeatedly present my opinion of them as being absolute truth -- everything is perfectly fine and normal, requiring little outside attention or intervention. It must not be forgotten that we are the Malfoys; our lives and business are our own. However, there is certainly nothing to about which any outside would have cause to worry. Nothing at all.
Of course, this stipulation begs explanation for my heightened nerves. I would assure anyone to whom my writing expresses a semblance of interest that my hours of late have been spent in the close and nearly constant contact of my dearest family. While this does leave open our place of congregation, a fact that I am sure overflows with the blood of suspicion, I must emphasise that no such concern may be validated. It is certainly quite easy to believe that our activities were of a pleasant and controlled nature entirely within our free will. To suggest otherwise would connote an image of the Malfoy name utterly beyond the realms of realistic intellectual reason.
The Outings of Evil, a most constant point of my continued residence in the Manor and consistent interaction with my fellows, have been proceeding in a most pleasing manner. One realises that he is truly making an impact on the world when no longer do bothersome people come whinging about their tortured family members because he thought ahead and devastated them before the event occurred. It is a characteristic such as this that makes my work truly satisfying and heart-warming; the looks upon the faces of those against whom we perform our services is quite rewarding.
It is most interesting to see which method of destruction our patrons prefer; there is a current trend towards quite gaudy displays of Material Mutilation followed by the Parade of Dark and Hello, How May We Pain You Today?, and closing with the classic Scream of Utter Terror. I have a vested interest in following the fluctuations of the Evil Market and have so gained an eye for which methods will become classics and will are merely temporary fads. The Bunny Bombs, for instance, failed to incur the proper physical impact and emotional distress while the Firm Handshake of Evil was never destined to last beyond its solo flight. However, it is always encouraging to see fresh faces enter the industry, and I believe strongly that the young Lotz A. Sharpointythings and his already-popular Stab 3000 will bring a new edge to our technique.
I would also like to proffer a rather straightforward note to Ginny Weasley, the disfigured malignity whose attack upon the Malfoy Manor plagued me with a dreadful case of hives: may a small cloud stalk your steps and bother you with periodic showers, may your quills rise up in revolt and perform a coup d'etat against your education, and may your children be blessed with an overwhelming attraction to constant and extreme vocal emission. I hope you are quite pleased with your actions.
To restate, a literary device I feel most useful when one is trying to emphasise a point -- not, of course, that I am so unsure of my ideas that I feel they may only be underscored into believability if I repeatedly present my opinion of them as being absolute truth -- everything is perfectly fine and normal, requiring little outside attention or intervention. It must not be forgotten that we are the Malfoys; our lives and business are our own. However, there is certainly nothing to about which any outside would have cause to worry. Nothing at all.