bitch & moan club
the heat is starting to get to us a little at keewaydin. my back got fried again today, and the intensity between all of us is growing. we playfully take shots at each other all day long hoping that a few laughs will shorten up the day, but every now and then it pierces a bit deeper than expected.
i have a weird struggle with my equilibrium (inner ear, center of balance) when i'm hanging my head mostly upside down planting or weeding rows and rows of chard/eggplant/brussel sprouts/etc when i stand back up again all the blood drains throwing my balance off and it causes me to get severely light headed. i try not to make a big deal of it, complaining/mentioning it only when it really scares me (as in the sky darkening several shades and black spots dotting my vision) and i was pretty proud of the way i was working through it, the way i have all summer...today when i jokingly mentioned i was quitting cuz i couldn't work in the conditions (the earth we were planting in was infested with thistles which pricked you every time you dug a hole--jess n rufus were laying the plants in place, kat and i were planting) and jess shot back in her normal funny yet bitchy manner something about how i might as well before i pass out...she even went as far as to mention she felt i was starving myself. i took it really personal and was hurt by it. i eat very well, several times a day albeit small amounts and it is healthy food. this lack of balance is hereditary it runs in my mothers blood line. when she was younger she would repeatedly pass out and even slightly seizure at times.. i don't take it quite seriously because i have yet to pass out and believe i have a strong enough handle on myself to keep it from happening. i suppose i'm just upset because i'm not so vocal as jess to bitch and moan at every second of the day, and most of the time i laugh and agree with her...for her to take a shot like that hurt and i'm sure she didn't mean it but i went home today feeling a little beaten.
r&r time.
i have a weird struggle with my equilibrium (inner ear, center of balance) when i'm hanging my head mostly upside down planting or weeding rows and rows of chard/eggplant/brussel sprouts/etc when i stand back up again all the blood drains throwing my balance off and it causes me to get severely light headed. i try not to make a big deal of it, complaining/mentioning it only when it really scares me (as in the sky darkening several shades and black spots dotting my vision) and i was pretty proud of the way i was working through it, the way i have all summer...today when i jokingly mentioned i was quitting cuz i couldn't work in the conditions (the earth we were planting in was infested with thistles which pricked you every time you dug a hole--jess n rufus were laying the plants in place, kat and i were planting) and jess shot back in her normal funny yet bitchy manner something about how i might as well before i pass out...she even went as far as to mention she felt i was starving myself. i took it really personal and was hurt by it. i eat very well, several times a day albeit small amounts and it is healthy food. this lack of balance is hereditary it runs in my mothers blood line. when she was younger she would repeatedly pass out and even slightly seizure at times.. i don't take it quite seriously because i have yet to pass out and believe i have a strong enough handle on myself to keep it from happening. i suppose i'm just upset because i'm not so vocal as jess to bitch and moan at every second of the day, and most of the time i laugh and agree with her...for her to take a shot like that hurt and i'm sure she didn't mean it but i went home today feeling a little beaten.
r&r time.