Chapter Three
Pure & Proud
Chapter Three: Pansy Parkinson
Make My Tea
Story by Sea Isle Witch
Parkinson to Appear at Flourish and Blotts
London, November 2002
By staff reporter, C. Firth.
International best-selling authoress, Pansy Parkinson, will begin her domestic book tour with a personal appearance at Flourish and Blotts on Diagon Alley next Saturday. Miss Parkinson will be signing copies of her latest book, Charms for Charming the Charmless. Plan to attend early, as this event will undoubtedly be very popular.
I just sacked my personal assistant, Matilda. She had been with me for a year now and came highly recommended, but she failed to live up to even my simplest expectations. She wasn't even capable of making my tea properly! I must have my Earl Grey perfectly brewed and served hot with just the right amount of fresh milk. If you can't even master that, you have no business working for me!
I need to find a replacement as soon as possible because my book comes out tomorrow and my domestic tour starts next week! Perhaps I can find someone who just finished up at Hogwarts. Yes, I'll send an owl to Headmistress McGonagall asking for recent graduates that fit my criteria. Let's see, I need someone smart and hard working. They must be creative and skilful -- and loyal too, especially with the paparazzi constantly shadowing me. Of course, they must know how to make my tea!
My note to Headmistress McGonagall produced three replies:
- Dear Miss Parkinson,
Headmistress McGonagall informed me of an employment opportunity you have available.
I am a reliable and trustworthy witch, and I just received five N.E.W.T.s. I'm particularly strong in research and organization, as well as Astronomy.
I live in London, and I understand your offices are nearby on Diagon Alley.
I would very much like to learn more about the position.
Sincerely,
Laura Madley
Dear Miss Parkinson,
I'd like to recommend myself, Graham Pritchard, formerly of Slytherin House, as a candidate for the personal assistant position.
Employment with an internationally, best-selling authoress would be an ideal situation for me as I am interested in wizard relations and promotions. More importantly, however, I would be able to assist you in any way you may require.
I recently received six N.E.W.T.s, including an outstanding in Potions, from Hogwarts. I was a Chaser on the Slytherin Quidditch team for four years, and I was a Slytherin Prefect for three years.
I am available for an interview at your convenience.
Very truly yours,
Graham Pritchard
Dear Pansy Parkinson:
I hear you have a job that sounds perfect for me, since we are both Slytherins.
I can do just about anything for you, including caring for magical creatures like owls.
I can come to talk to you anytime, just owl me!
Malcolm Baddock
I sent an owl to each of them with an invitation to a group interview this morning at P.P. Charms, Ltd, the small office I keep for my book writing business on Diagon Alley.
Precisely at ten o'clock, I Apparate to Charms Ltd. All three applicants are waiting outside for me. I am pleased but careful not to let it show because I want to create some tension. They will need excellent coping skills to be my assistant.
After brief introductions, they follow me up to my office on the second floor. Well, none of them tripped down the stairway. That's a good sign. Inside my office, I look them over.
The witch, Laura Madley, is neither tall nor short; she has dull brown hair and looks serious. She has no fashion sense! Why is she is wearing a brown dress with brown boots and a brown cloak? This girl has Hufflepuff written all over her! I struggle to keep an open mind and suppress old prejudices. Hufflepuffs are known for their excellent work ethics, though.
Graham Pritchard is the wizard who wrote the most impressive note. He smiles confidently as I inspect him. Attractive, neatly groomed and impeccably dressed, Graham would project the right image for my business interests.
The third soul -- Malcolm -- looks along the vein of my old friends Vincent Crabbe and Gregory Goyle.
Sitting comfortably behind my mahogany desk, I call each into my private office, asking them to perform various magical tasks, while I grill them about their accomplishments.
"Miss Madley, secure the office as you would at the end of the work day."
After testing her magical wards, I note she has performed the necessary spells adequately. She articulately answers several probing questions and performs another test to my satisfaction. Finally, I give her the most challenging task.
"Now, make a cup of tea."
"Yes, Miss Parkinson," she replies politely and immediately turns toward the antique chest, which holds the tea accoutrement. "Will Earl Grey be acceptable?"
"Quite." So she's surveyed the contents of the office and located the tea station -- without my knowledge. That's almost a bit Slytherin-like.
Laura's tea is fantastic. Just perfect.
Next it is Malcolm Baddock's turn to be scrutinised. He is nervous and perspiring, and I desperately want to zap him with my Anti-Perspiring Spell, Sudo Desino. He performs two tasks acceptably but with profuse sweating, which drips onto my Persian carpet. In light of his personal problem, I do not not ask him to make tea; I'd be too afraid to try it. Malcolm is out of the running and is dismissed from the interview.
Graham Pritchard performs his sequence of tasks flawlessly; I'd even say stylishly. When I ask him to make a pot of Earl Grey, he fumbles. He returns with an unsatisfactory cup, and I am not impressed.
Hmmm...which one?" Laura has performed all of the tasks adequately, and her tea making abilities are superb. She seems sharp and conscientious, and I can tell she would be easy to have around. Graham, on the other hand, is dashing, clever and resourceful. I have no doubt he'd accomplish any task for me, no matter what it is, but his tea is awful! Each possess skills I need, but neither is the entire package.
"Mr Pritchard, Miss Madley, please come in and have a seat." Being successful gives me the luxury of doing as I please, so I make a brilliant decision. "You are both hired." Graham and Laura look surprised when I hand each of them an employment contract. "Miss Madley, you will run this office, attend to my schedule and of course, make my tea. Mr Pritchard, you will handle the press and the more unusual tasks I require."
Miss Madley smiles broadly. "Thank you, Miss Parkinson. May I get started now? I noticed the outer office should be organized more efficiently."
I give her a small smile back -- well, I am pleased, and she deserves to know. "Go right ahead. You will find my schedules in the green book on your desk. Please check on all of the arrangements for my book signing next Saturday."
Like a good witch, she gets right to work.
"Graham, you come with me."
He smirks -- quite well, I might add -- and opens the door for me. I think we will get along just fine.
At the Phoenix Cafe, I explain exactly what I expect from him. He is excited about his position with me, and I am happy to have such a capable wizard by my side.
"Your first assignment is to find a flat for me -- here in London. I want to see it on Monday morning at ten o'clock. Send an owl to Blossom Hill Park to let me know where to meet you. I shall be away this weekend. Remember -- I insist on absolute confidentiality."
"That goes without saying, Miss Parkinson," he replies in a pleasing voice. "Shall I make arrangements for the enslavement of a house-elf as well?"
"That's exactly why you were hired, Graham, to anticipate my needs."
Chapter Four: Draco Malfoy ~ The Long and Winding Road Home