(no subject)
Dear God,
Shalom. I've never really much bothered with you, and as such I should probably introduce myself. But then against you are supposedly omniscient, and even though that makes me uncomfortable for several reasons it does save me time spent talking about myself. Usually I am happy to tell others all about myself but right now I would prefer to talk about others. Praise be to Allah.
WHERE IS PANSY?? O' Heavenly Father, I would like it if you would please find Pansy and deliver her unto me. I know it's wrong for a man to 'know' his second-cousin-by-marriage/adopted sister but I don't really care about what's wrong or right and never really have, and plus if Adam and Eve were really the first people on earth (obviously pureblooded) then their children must have gone forth to be fruitful and multiply despite the inconvenience of being related. Suffer the little children, for I have known Pansy since infant-hood and if you are taking her away from me because I was an unappreciative child who rolled her in the mud and tied her to my broomstick I would not blame you for doing so but would like to point out that, to my credit, she was never bothered by it one bit. She's the only one who is never bothered by me. May Bodhichitta, precious and sublime.
Holy Mary, Mother of God, pray for the sinners, now and at the hour of their deaths, and forgive those who have trespassed against me, for they are abundant, and I cannot find it in my heart (nor do I have the time) to forgive them personally. I do not like most people, and if you and I were to have tea together I would probably ask you why you had to go and make so many of them, and make them so stomach-turningly ugly and intolerably dull, as well. But I do like Pansy, and Blaise, and Millicent, and even Theodore most of the time, so I ask that you please keep them on this earth so that I will not be alone like I am now. Blessed Be. Praise be to Allah.
Amen, Alleluia, and Mazaltov.
Shalom. I've never really much bothered with you, and as such I should probably introduce myself. But then against you are supposedly omniscient, and even though that makes me uncomfortable for several reasons it does save me time spent talking about myself. Usually I am happy to tell others all about myself but right now I would prefer to talk about others. Praise be to Allah.
WHERE IS PANSY?? O' Heavenly Father, I would like it if you would please find Pansy and deliver her unto me. I know it's wrong for a man to 'know' his second-cousin-by-marriage/adopted sister but I don't really care about what's wrong or right and never really have, and plus if Adam and Eve were really the first people on earth (obviously pureblooded) then their children must have gone forth to be fruitful and multiply despite the inconvenience of being related. Suffer the little children, for I have known Pansy since infant-hood and if you are taking her away from me because I was an unappreciative child who rolled her in the mud and tied her to my broomstick I would not blame you for doing so but would like to point out that, to my credit, she was never bothered by it one bit. She's the only one who is never bothered by me. May Bodhichitta, precious and sublime.
Holy Mary, Mother of God, pray for the sinners, now and at the hour of their deaths, and forgive those who have trespassed against me, for they are abundant, and I cannot find it in my heart (nor do I have the time) to forgive them personally. I do not like most people, and if you and I were to have tea together I would probably ask you why you had to go and make so many of them, and make them so stomach-turningly ugly and intolerably dull, as well. But I do like Pansy, and Blaise, and Millicent, and even Theodore most of the time, so I ask that you please keep them on this earth so that I will not be alone like I am now. Blessed Be. Praise be to Allah.
Amen, Alleluia, and Mazaltov.