< /3
I really dont understand people.
I dont understand how they can say one thing then do another.
I dont understand how one day Becca can tell me how much she loves me.
And the next tell me she thinks its best if we break up.
And hardly be able to say a word to me.
Ive been crying for about a hour.
I want this all to be a bad dream.
But i doubt it is.
I feel so torn up inside.
It really hurts.
She is the one person i really loved.
I still love her.
I thought i loved Hana.
But looking back on things that i had with her.
and what i had and hopefully still will have with Becca i can see that i was wrong.
I didnt love her.
I guess i just liked the idea of it.
I liked the idea of being in this perfect relationship.
When acctually things where far from perfect.
I was lonley most of the time and i hardly ever saw her.
With Becca however things are so different.
I cant take her off my mind.
I miss her so much.
I feel empty without her.
Something i never had with hana.
Im still coming to terms with not being with Becca.
Not being able to hold her hand one last time.
Not being able to kiss her for a second longer.
I dont know if i can.
I just want to see her one more time.
She means the world to me.
I would do anything for her.
I thought she felt the same way.
When im with her things feel so perfect.
She takes my mind off of the world around me.
The mounting pressures of a college i hate.
And a boring life that i lead.
I want to escape it all so badly.
I want to escape it with the one person i have only ever truly loved.
Becca.
I dont think she realises how much she means to me.
I dont think she believes me when i tell her i love her.
I dont think she even trusts me when im not with her.
I dont think she realises how hard this has hit me.
She says it will be better this way.
But it wont.
I cant bare thinking about not holding her hand again.
About not kissing her again.
about not looking into her eyes and smiling because i know everything is just fine.
I begin to think about it and break into tears again.
I doubt i will get that much sleep tonight.
And i should really stop writing in this stupid thing.
Who cares any way really?
Who even reads it?
< /3
I dont understand how they can say one thing then do another.
I dont understand how one day Becca can tell me how much she loves me.
And the next tell me she thinks its best if we break up.
And hardly be able to say a word to me.
Ive been crying for about a hour.
I want this all to be a bad dream.
But i doubt it is.
I feel so torn up inside.
It really hurts.
She is the one person i really loved.
I still love her.
I thought i loved Hana.
But looking back on things that i had with her.
and what i had and hopefully still will have with Becca i can see that i was wrong.
I didnt love her.
I guess i just liked the idea of it.
I liked the idea of being in this perfect relationship.
When acctually things where far from perfect.
I was lonley most of the time and i hardly ever saw her.
With Becca however things are so different.
I cant take her off my mind.
I miss her so much.
I feel empty without her.
Something i never had with hana.
Im still coming to terms with not being with Becca.
Not being able to hold her hand one last time.
Not being able to kiss her for a second longer.
I dont know if i can.
I just want to see her one more time.
She means the world to me.
I would do anything for her.
I thought she felt the same way.
When im with her things feel so perfect.
She takes my mind off of the world around me.
The mounting pressures of a college i hate.
And a boring life that i lead.
I want to escape it all so badly.
I want to escape it with the one person i have only ever truly loved.
Becca.
I dont think she realises how much she means to me.
I dont think she believes me when i tell her i love her.
I dont think she even trusts me when im not with her.
I dont think she realises how hard this has hit me.
She says it will be better this way.
But it wont.
I cant bare thinking about not holding her hand again.
About not kissing her again.
about not looking into her eyes and smiling because i know everything is just fine.
I begin to think about it and break into tears again.
I doubt i will get that much sleep tonight.
And i should really stop writing in this stupid thing.
Who cares any way really?
Who even reads it?
< /3