All I want Is you 14/?
SAYING GOODBYE IS THE HARDEST. Part 1/4
“The only time a goodbye is painful is when you know you’ll never say hello again.”
Having dosed off with her lover Miranda awoke to the sensation of being watched. Opening her eyes she looked up to see Cassidy and Caroline were in the room.
"You didn't come down for dinner." Caroline whispered.
"What is going on?" Cassidy asked, worrying her bottom lip. "Andy has been crying."
"She looks like she has seen a ghost... or someone died." Caroline responded, having never seen Andrea this way before, the brunette always lively and energetic with confidence.
Miranda swallowed hard at those latter words. "Dylan… he… he passed away." Richard's words went through her mind.
"Mommy?" The girls said in unison.
Shaking herself out of her mind Miranda quietly and gently untangled herself from Andrea and slowly moved from the bed, thankful she didn't wake her lover. She was still struggling to deal with what she had heard from Richard and having to say it out loud to the girls was going to make it that much more real.
"Someone did die, didn't they?" Cassidy asked, sensing the somber mood.
"Yes." Miranda said, voice cracking, as more tears welled in her eyes and threatened to fall.
"What? No." Caroline said, shaking her head. "I didn't mean it when I said it!"
"She... Andy doesn't have anyone old in her family!" Cassidy said. "Her Grandparents have already moved on."
"It wasn't someone old." Miranda responded, softly closing the French doors behind them and moving to the staircase which they wandered down.
They entered the sitting room and she poured herself a whisky with shaking hands. She downed it before turning to her girls. "Sit down."
Her daughters did so and taking a deep breath, she walked over to them, kneeling in front of them, and taking their hands. "This is extremely hard for me to say, and will be hard for you to hear and understand, but yes Andrea has lost someone very close to her heart."
"Who?" Caroline asked, tears welling in her eyes along with Cassidy's. It was obvious how much they hated knowing Andrea would be in such pain.
Wiping the tears from her eyes Miranda began speaking. "Dylan. He has passed away."
The girls instantly gasped and were extremely shocked and confused at this news as their tears began falling from their eyes.
They hadn't even gotten a chance to actually meet Andrea's brother, but spoke to him that one time over SKYPE and thought he was absolutely wicked, and they couldn't stop going on about "Dylan this, and Dylan that. When do we get to meet Dylan?" he had definitely had a warm welcome by the girls with Caroline thinking he was super cool because he rode and fixed motorbikes.
"How did it happen?" Cassidy questioned.
"Did he... did he fall off his motorbike?" Caroline asked.
Miranda shook her head, and rubbed her eyes. "There is no easy way for me to say this." she said, really wishing she didn't have to be saying this at all as her girls were still incredibly young and shouldn't be having to hear something like this. "Dylan... well, he..." she sighed, and clearing her throat, her hands shaking once more she continued. "He has for a while now struggled with demons... and well, life has never always been a happy place for him... even though it seems like it is and he's always lively and always ready to make you happy when you're around him... deep down there was too much darkness for him to handle and he... he took his own life." she said, trying to not cry again knowing she needed to remain as strong as possible for her girls who would surely struggle with this and have many questions.
"He committed suicide?" Caroline asked, crying.
Miranda nodded, reaching out and cupping the girls' cheeks. "Yes." she replied, sniffling, trying to keep her tears under control.
"Is Andy..." Caroline started, trailing off. "How is she?"
"She's not very good." Miranda explained, wiping away Cassidy's and then Caroline's tears. "And she won't be for a long while. This is going to be very hard for her. We are all going to have to be on our best behavior, and be good for Andrea and be there for her. Do you think we can do that?"
The girls nodded.
"Can we see her?" Cassidy asked, even knowing she was sleeping, simply wanting to be with her.
Miranda slowly shook her head. "Not right now. We need to give her space, and be there for her when she comes to us, okay?"
"Okay." The girls chorused, worrying their bottom lips.
"Good girls." Miranda replied, putting her arms around them and pulling them in for a tight embrace as silent tears fell down her cheeks. "Promise me you will always, always come to me if you ever need to talk... if you're ever feeling really sad or have gotten into this really dark place that you don't think you can get out of... come to me, or Andrea... your Father, Cara, or even a helpline. Just... promise you'll talk about whatever it is and know that I will never, ever judge you."
The girls nodded their understanding.
"I promise." Caroline whispered, holding her tight.
"So do I." Cassidy whispered. "Pinky promise." she said, pulling away, holding out her right-hand pinky finger.
"Pinky promise." Miranda whispered back, squeezing her pinky with Cassidy's and then Caroline's. "I am always here for you. No matter what."
"As we are for you and Andy." Caroline said, looking at Cassidy who nodded at her sister’s words.
"Always." Cassidy whispered.
Miranda smiled sadly at the two of them. "You have no idea how much I love the both of you." she said, holding her daughter's one more time before standing. She wiped her eyes, and breathed in before shakily letting it out. She looked at the time. 7:15PM. She was meant to be having an international SKYPE call with French RUNWAY.
The sound of the doorbell rang.
"That's going to be Alecia and Emma." Caroline said, standing from the couch, wiping her tears. "I should tell them to come back tomorrow."
"No no." Miranda replied, putting an arm around Caroline and walking down to the door with her. "You all need to do this project for School. Plus, I think it will be good for you and Cassidy to not be alone right now."
"Okay."
Miranda nodded. "Just remember to keep it quiet."
"We'll study at the island counter instead of the dining room." The latter room being closer to the master bedroom.
Miranda wandered back upstairs, heard the front door open as her daughter’s friends began chattering away, laughing at this and that until they obviously saw Caroline's somber face and stopped instantly. "What's wrong?"
The girls knew to not say anything about her relationship with Andrea to anyone until they came out to the public, and she knew the girls could explain why they were so sad without getting into too much detail.
Sighing Miranda rubbed her face, and stopped just outside the closed French doors of her room she shared with the brunette beauty. She pulled out her phone and texted Elise.
Family emergency, cancel schedule until midday tomorrow.
She knew this would put Elise into a major panic, but that didn't matter right now. She then pulled up her message thread with Nigel.
Something has come up, you need to manage everything until midday tomorrow.
Of course, Nigel was quick to respond, not even three seconds later.
Nothing is ever as important as RUNWAY. What's wrong? Are the girls okay? Should I come over?
Miranda's eyes widened at those last words. He hadn't been to the townhouse for over a year now since the whole Paris mess happened, their friendship never being the same, however it was slowly, very slowly mending.
As much as she wanted her dear friends company she knew she needed to be there for Andrea if the brunette were to wake up.
Cassidy and Caroline are okay. A family emergency has happened in Andrea's family, it will be a very trying time, and I need to be here for her... Her thumb hesitated over the delete button, to erase the whole part of Andrea as she hasn't come out to Nigel about her romance with the brunette beauty even though she thought he suspected. She kept those words written, if she wanted to be friends with Nigel again she needed to start being honest with him again. Will explain more tomorrow. Just don't burn the place down before I get there. She joked, and sent the text.
Doesn't sound good. Give Six a hug for me.
Haha, RUNWAY is always in safe hands with me even if you don't always agree with my decisions :p
Yes, there were plenty occasions when they didn't agree with one another, and yet they always made it work - it had always helped with the strong friendship bond they'd had together.
Hoping that friendship could go back to normal soon, Miranda put her phone on silent before pocketing it, and entering the bedroom. Her lover was still in the exact same spot she'd left her, and settled in beside her once again. An early night’s sleep would do her good.
~*~
Two Nights Later.
“What are you doing?” Caroline sleepily asked, rubbing her eyes as she walked into the kitchen, yawning.
“Oh, bobbsey, what are you doing up?” Miranda asked, looking up as she continued rolling dough, sprinkling more flour over it.
“You're covered in flour.”
“Oh, am I?” Miranda questioned, looking down at herself. “Oh well.” She cleared her throat, putting the dough inside a bowl, covering it with plastic wrap.
“You're making... a lot of bread!” Caroline commented, looking at the ten-other bowls of dough set aside to rise.
“I did a Soy and Linseed for you, bobbsey.” Miranda responded.
“Okay, great.” Caroline replied, walking further into the kitchen. “I think you need to sit down.”
“What, no. If I sit down my mind will begin racing again with everything that's happening. Baking is keeping my mind off of all that!” She replied, putting on her crocodile oven mitten to pull out the pizza bases she'd also made. “Andrea loves bread and pizza.”
“It's not going to change what's happened.” Caroline commented, picking up one of the cooling blueberry muffins.
“They'll be hot still!” Miranda warned, watching as her daughter cut it open, the steam escaping. “This can at least help. What is it they say... comfort food.”
“Andy is lucky to have you, Mommy.” Caroline said, putting her arms around her.
“Thank you, sweetheart.” Miranda replied, putting an arm around her daughter. “I'm just... I'm trying to do the best I can in this difficult situation.”
“And you're doing amazingly. All that matters is that you're there for Andy, mom, she doesn't need all of this...”
“But she'll love eating all this... when she's ready to eat... she needs the fiber.” Miranda said, checking on the very first lot of dough to see it has risen perfectly. “Why are you awake still? It's late.”
“I couldn't sleep. I keep thinking about Andy and this stupid algebra test. Why is it I'm good at everything else but I cannot get through one algebra test?!”
“Is there anything I can help you with?” Miranda asked. Who am I kidding?! I am horrible at mathematics!
“I was going to ask Andy the other night, but then...”
“Ah.” Miranda replied, understanding. She also knew that Andrea was also tossing and turning upstairs with a pile of tissues next to her. “You can go and see if she is up for helping you... she asked earlier how your prep work is going... she might want the distraction.”
“I don't want to be a burden.”
“Oh sweetheart, you could never be a burden to Andrea, she loves you and Cassidy. Speaking of Cassidy did Louise leave?”
“No, Cassidy snuck her back upstairs.”
Miranda couldn't help but laugh. “I don't know what I'll ever do with her!” She turned back to Caroline once she finished putting the dough in the bread tin and inside the oven. “I didn't see Darcy here earlier?”
“She had to stay home to do her chores.” Caroline huffed. “But she wants us to go and see a movie tomorrow night. Max is going to take us.”
“That sounds like a good idea. You need to be with your friends right now.” Miranda replied, just as footsteps were heard down the hallway.
“I have reflux.” Andrea said, grumbling, coming into the kitchen, rubbing her throat and chest. “I'm getting pissed off! None of the remedies I usually do are working!”
“Bicarbonate soda and a bit of water... always does the trick.” Miranda replied, causing her lover to blanch at the thought.
“You Brit's are strange.” Andrea commented, pulling out the milk and drinking straight from the carton.
Normally she would comment about this, and hand over a glass, but tonight she let it slide. “It's not a British thing.” Miranda snorted. “I actually learnt it from Marianna and she was American.”
“Well, still strange.”
“It works wonders.” Miranda responded, but knew her lover wasn't going to budge.
“How's that homework going, kid?” Andrea asked, looking to Caroline.
Caroline shrugged. “Okay, I guess.”
“I know that look.” Andrea replied. “What's up?”
“I'm confused with a few of the equations.”
“Alright, up you get and meet me in the dining room." Andrea replied.
“Are you sure, I don't...”
“I'm...” Andrea stopped to burp. “Sure.”
“Thanks Andy!” Caroline replied, getting down from the stool and leaving the room with her muffin.
“Are you-“ Miranda began to speak, her lover cutting her off.
“Please don't ask me if I'm okay.”
“… Hungry?” Miranda finished. She watched as Andrea bit the inside of her lip, knowing she read her words wrong.
“Sorry." Andrea replied, looking sheepish then shrugged. "If it helps get rid of the reflux.” She added, taking her hand and squeezing before letting go.
“I'll bring something light up for you.” Miranda responded, watching as Andrea left the room with the carton of milk still in her hand.
"By the way, you're covered in flour." Andrea said over her shoulder, those gorgeous brown eyes looking at her with so much sadness, but there was a slight hint of amusement.
Swallowing hard as the room became empty once more Miranda sat down on one of the stools and tried to keep her emotions in check.
Staring into Andreas red, blotchy, watery eyes with cheeks stained with tears was incredibly hard for her especially knowing there was nothing she could do to make any of this better.
“As long as you're there for her, that's all that matters.” Caroline's words echoed in her mind.
Nodding and clearing her throat, wiping her own watery eyes she began preparing a small meal for her lover; pumpkin soup and freshly cooked bread.
I must be strong, and be there for her. She thought, nodding to herself again as she got the soup ladle. I can do that. I'm good at keeping my emotions in check when necessary.
~*~
The Next Morning.
Walking into the bedroom Miranda was surprised to find the bed empty and made. “Andrea?”
“Closet.”
Going over to the closet she entered the space to find Andrea getting dressed in shabby clothing; old faded sweat pants and a white baggy tee-shirt that she was covering with a grey hoodie. “What are you-“
“Going to work. I'm still new at the NEW YORKER and I can't be slacking off any more than I have been.”
“It's not slacking off. I'm sure they understand comple-“
“Even so. I can't continue... this...” her lover waved to the bed out in the other room. “I need to work, keep my mind distracted, and this new work assignment will help me do that.”
“Work assignment?” Miranda was confused. “You haven't been given a new assignment.”
“No, this is to do with my homeless series.” Andrea responded, putting a beanie on. "I came up with this little assignment myself."
Eyes widening Miranda put two and two together. “Surely you aren't going to do what I'm thinking...”
“Getting out there on the streets, blending in with them, seeing and learning first-hand what these people are going through, how they ended up there... This will give me better knowledge for my next piece because right now I'm only going by what I've heard... I can’t fully and truly write about homelessness if I haven't experienced it, in some form, myself.”
Miranda opened and closed her mouth, absolutely baffled. Her lover was an extraordinary human being for wanting to do this but she just... she was having trouble with the idea.
“What? So now you've got a problem with this assignment too?” Andrea questioned, tone angry, looking at her briefly as she picked up a ratty old black back-pack, angrily throwing a few minuscule items inside. “The one great idea I've come up with to help my career and you're thinking of it like the Middle East all over again!”
Miranda remained calm at the outburst knowing all the emotions that her lover was feeling right now. “You simply took me by surprise, that's all.”
“Oh, come on, Miranda! I'm sure there must be some kind of spiel you want to give me.” Andrea said, brushing past her to enter the bathroom where she washed her mouth out with LISTERINE.
I'm worried... concerned that something might happen to you. Miranda thought, but did not say, knowing how familiar she would sound with the past Middle East problem. At least she’ll be in the city and not near war-zones. And with this thought it eased her slightly. I can go to her at the drop of a hat if she needs me.
“I'm waiting...”
Miranda shook her head, walking over to her lover and putting her arms around Andrea's waist, the brunette’s body stiff. “Darling, relax... I'm not angry, I'm not anything aside from surprised. I think it's wonderful that you want to do this... to get first-hand knowledge.” I just wish you were doing it inside the Soup Kitchen.
Andrea sighed. “I'm sorry, I shouldn't have snapped.”
“You don't need to apologies.” She replied, watching as her lover closed her eyes and leaned into her.
Andrea relaxed in her arms for less than five seconds. “I gotta go.”
“Let me put together something for breakfast and a few snacks to keep in your bag.” Miranda said, following her lover out of the room.
“That's going against what I'm doing.” Andrea said over her shoulder as she breezed for the staircase. “I have to experience everything first-hand which means bare minimum food.”
Miranda had to bite her tongue to hold back from saying anything. “Well... just stay away from the Pork at the Soup Kitchens. It goes through a lot of people quickly and that's the last thing you need to be dealing with.”
“I'll keep that in mind.”
Miranda still couldn't understand why the Soup Kitchen she helped at wouldn't listen to her and replace the Pork they used. Nothing she did was able to fix this problem as the owner of the place didn't like her. “And make sure to stay in visible areas.”
“I know, Miranda.”
Biting down on her lip again, she knew how motherly she was sounding and she hated it. She loves Andrea so much and doesn’t want anything to ever happen to her. “Wait...” she said, stopping to look at Andrea’s bedside table. “You've forgotten your phone.”
“Defeats the purpose of me doing this.”
“What if something happens?”
“Nothing's going to happen.”
“Where about’s will you be?”
“I'm not sure. I'll find that out once I get there.”
“Let me give you some cash in case you need to use a pay-phone.” Miranda said, reaching for her wallet, unable to believe what she was saying.
“Miranda, I'll say it again and only one more time... that defeats the purpose of why I'm doing this.”
Miranda sighed, having to fight the urge from growling. “How long will you be doing this... assignment?” she asked, grabbing her GUCCI wallet and pulling out a few wads of cash before catching up with her lover and sneaking them into the back-pack.
“I'm not sure. Until I feel I've got enough to work on.”
She hated the idea of being without Andrea for a few days, but it was clear this is what Andrea needed to do to get out of her head space she's been stuck in, and she wasn’t going to argue about it. “Just...” she sighed. “Please be careful.”
Andrea tied up her boots, nodding, from where she sat at the top of the staircase. “You know I will be.” She responded as her lover stood and began walking down.
“You forgot something.” Miranda pouted.
The brunette beauty stopped and turned around, walking over to her. “Sorry.” Andrea whispered, kissing her albeit briefly. “Thank you for understanding. I love you.”
Her lover trailed her fingers down her cheek before pulling her hand away and turning back around to walk downstairs. “I love you too.” She responded as Andrea reached the bottom. “Be careful.” She couldn't help but say again.
Andrea raised a hand up in acknowledgment to her words before making her way through the foyer and out the front door.
Sighing Miranda retreated into their room where she sat down on the bed, her shoulders slumped. Well, that was not at all how I expected to be starting my day. She thought, laying back down in Andrea’s spot, tears welling from staring into her lover's emotional, numb and lost eyes. She had no idea what she could do, and so without wanting to argue had let Andrea walk away to do this assignment when really her lover was in no frame of mind to be doing any kind of work. On the other hand, she is... she thought. She's emotional, depressed... that's how most people are living on the streets.
Again, she sighed as she rolled onto her back, wiping her tears away as she stared at the ceiling. I have to be there for her, give all the space she needs, and be there at the drop of a hat even if I am in the middle of a catwalk showing… this, what she is doing, from today and the next few days is her way of trying to deal with the horror that has happened.
Knowing she couldn’t dwell on what Andrea was doing any longer, that her lover is a grown up and knows how to take care of herself and has been walking these streets day and night for nearly two years now, she stood from the bed which she quickly fixed up where she’d crinkled it before entering the bathroom and reapplying her make-up.
Once that was done she picked up her phone. “My car better be out the front!” She snapped to the new assistant before hanging up. She might be understanding of this new work idea Andrea has come up with but it didn't mean she had to be happy about it when it meant she would be apart from Andrea for god knows how many days.
Even though she was annoyed she couldn't help but smile and be impressed that she has fallen in love with someone with such a talent, and dedication to her career that she would give up her luxuries to walk and sleep on the streets all for a simple newspaper article. She really is something else.
~*~
Two Days Later.
Miranda was ready to pull her hair out with worry after having not heard BOO from Andrea. “This is beyond ridiculous!” She loudly said to the empty house, wanting to throw her empty glass against the wall, refraining herself from doing so.
“Elise!” She snapped into her phone a minute later. “The Delaware shoot is back on! Call the others and let them know!”
It was better that she too went and did her job instead of hanging around the house dwelling on where Andrea is and what could be happening and if she's safe... As safe as she can be out there!
Growling in frustration she picked up her bag and took out her thin coat, the weather starting to feel more like Summer now, from the closet she'd hung up not even fifteen minutes ago.
When she exited the house, she was thankful to see the town car pulling up.
~*~
The Next Morning. 7am.
Looking up from where she sat on the toilet at the sound of her phone ringing and vibrating on the edge of the empty sink she quickly grabbed it, looking at the screen to see unavailable. The person was calling from a private number. “Andrea?” She asked as she answered quickly.
“It's me.”
“Oh, thank god!” Miranda responded, continuing. “I've been going out of my mind with worry! I've even been bringing my phone to the toilet which you know I would normally condemn!”
Andrea laughed on the other end but it was forced.
“Are you okay?”
“Not exactly.”
Miranda’s heart raced from worry. “What's happened?”
“I... It's really stupid, and I'm okay really, but I snuck up on this old guy I've been wanting to speak to since I came out here and I thought he was just resting his eyes but it turns out he was sleeping and he doesn't like it when he's woken up and he reacted on instinct and punched me in the face.”
Miranda’s mouth dropped open.
“I'm going to have one hell of a killer black eye by tomorrow.” Andrea laughed. "Gonna be sexy, hey."
“Oh my god.”
“Yeah...” Andrea trailed off, laughing again. “Thing is... the story doesn't end there. I'm at the hospital, have been for hours now, and no doctor has been bothered to come and see me because they think I'm actually homeless and don't seem to care that I have a bloody face. I finally managed to convince the old cow at the front desk to let me use the phone to call you. She's still giving me “I'm a mental person look” because she doesn't believe my story about how I've ended up in this situation. I guess I am mental though, right, for doing what I've been doing... sleeping on the streets on my own accord?"
“Oh darling, no, you aren't mental. You're incredible and amazing and I love you so much for doing what you've done. There aren't many people on this Planet that would willingly do what you have these last couple of days.”
“It's been so eye opening.”
“I'm sure it has, darling.”
“But my back is killing me.” Andrea said, continuing. “And my feet hurt more than usual, that blister has reappeared again and I have no Band-Aids, and I... I miss you and our bed. Can I just...” her lover's voice caught, telling her that her lover was tearing up. “Can I just come home and continue wallowing?”
“Oh Andrea.” Miranda whispered, her heart aching. “Yes, of course. But first we need to get a doctor to make sure you're okay.”
“They're horrid here.” Andrea whispered. “I'm definitely having Natalie look into this place, dig up dirt on them, and then write about their bad rep.”
Miranda smiled. “Go for it, darling. You have my full support.”
“I'm sorry again for snapping at you the other day before I left.”
“Darling, you don't need to apologies, that's already forgotten.”
“You're too good to me.”
Not really when I was a selfish bitch and didn’t want you to do your assignment. “No no, you're too good to me when we both know I'm the feared Dragon Lady. I only react the way I do because I get worried and I never want anything to happen to you. Ever.”
“You aren't a Dragon Lady, not to me anyway, and I know, darling. I know you hate me apologising right now but I'm sorry we've barely spent any time together... since this whole… thing.”
“It's completely understandable, Andrea.”
“I've been so cold and distant not just towards you but the girls.”
“Again... I, along with the girls, understand.”
“I want to make love with you tonight.” Andrea whispered.
Miranda's vagina reacted instantly from those words. “You know I'll never say no.” She responded, licking her lips, body buzzing in anticipation.
“Are you really sitting on the toilet right now?”
Miranda laughed at the quick change of conversation, and a mood killer at that. “I am.”
“You really are a changed woman with me, aren't you?” Andrea spoke, sounding as if she was smiling beautifully.
Smiling fondly herself Miranda nodded. “Yes, yes I am.”
~*~
http://pure-ecstasy6.livejournal.com/46494.html
“The only time a goodbye is painful is when you know you’ll never say hello again.”
Having dosed off with her lover Miranda awoke to the sensation of being watched. Opening her eyes she looked up to see Cassidy and Caroline were in the room.
"You didn't come down for dinner." Caroline whispered.
"What is going on?" Cassidy asked, worrying her bottom lip. "Andy has been crying."
"She looks like she has seen a ghost... or someone died." Caroline responded, having never seen Andrea this way before, the brunette always lively and energetic with confidence.
Miranda swallowed hard at those latter words. "Dylan… he… he passed away." Richard's words went through her mind.
"Mommy?" The girls said in unison.
Shaking herself out of her mind Miranda quietly and gently untangled herself from Andrea and slowly moved from the bed, thankful she didn't wake her lover. She was still struggling to deal with what she had heard from Richard and having to say it out loud to the girls was going to make it that much more real.
"Someone did die, didn't they?" Cassidy asked, sensing the somber mood.
"Yes." Miranda said, voice cracking, as more tears welled in her eyes and threatened to fall.
"What? No." Caroline said, shaking her head. "I didn't mean it when I said it!"
"She... Andy doesn't have anyone old in her family!" Cassidy said. "Her Grandparents have already moved on."
"It wasn't someone old." Miranda responded, softly closing the French doors behind them and moving to the staircase which they wandered down.
They entered the sitting room and she poured herself a whisky with shaking hands. She downed it before turning to her girls. "Sit down."
Her daughters did so and taking a deep breath, she walked over to them, kneeling in front of them, and taking their hands. "This is extremely hard for me to say, and will be hard for you to hear and understand, but yes Andrea has lost someone very close to her heart."
"Who?" Caroline asked, tears welling in her eyes along with Cassidy's. It was obvious how much they hated knowing Andrea would be in such pain.
Wiping the tears from her eyes Miranda began speaking. "Dylan. He has passed away."
The girls instantly gasped and were extremely shocked and confused at this news as their tears began falling from their eyes.
They hadn't even gotten a chance to actually meet Andrea's brother, but spoke to him that one time over SKYPE and thought he was absolutely wicked, and they couldn't stop going on about "Dylan this, and Dylan that. When do we get to meet Dylan?" he had definitely had a warm welcome by the girls with Caroline thinking he was super cool because he rode and fixed motorbikes.
"How did it happen?" Cassidy questioned.
"Did he... did he fall off his motorbike?" Caroline asked.
Miranda shook her head, and rubbed her eyes. "There is no easy way for me to say this." she said, really wishing she didn't have to be saying this at all as her girls were still incredibly young and shouldn't be having to hear something like this. "Dylan... well, he..." she sighed, and clearing her throat, her hands shaking once more she continued. "He has for a while now struggled with demons... and well, life has never always been a happy place for him... even though it seems like it is and he's always lively and always ready to make you happy when you're around him... deep down there was too much darkness for him to handle and he... he took his own life." she said, trying to not cry again knowing she needed to remain as strong as possible for her girls who would surely struggle with this and have many questions.
"He committed suicide?" Caroline asked, crying.
Miranda nodded, reaching out and cupping the girls' cheeks. "Yes." she replied, sniffling, trying to keep her tears under control.
"Is Andy..." Caroline started, trailing off. "How is she?"
"She's not very good." Miranda explained, wiping away Cassidy's and then Caroline's tears. "And she won't be for a long while. This is going to be very hard for her. We are all going to have to be on our best behavior, and be good for Andrea and be there for her. Do you think we can do that?"
The girls nodded.
"Can we see her?" Cassidy asked, even knowing she was sleeping, simply wanting to be with her.
Miranda slowly shook her head. "Not right now. We need to give her space, and be there for her when she comes to us, okay?"
"Okay." The girls chorused, worrying their bottom lips.
"Good girls." Miranda replied, putting her arms around them and pulling them in for a tight embrace as silent tears fell down her cheeks. "Promise me you will always, always come to me if you ever need to talk... if you're ever feeling really sad or have gotten into this really dark place that you don't think you can get out of... come to me, or Andrea... your Father, Cara, or even a helpline. Just... promise you'll talk about whatever it is and know that I will never, ever judge you."
The girls nodded their understanding.
"I promise." Caroline whispered, holding her tight.
"So do I." Cassidy whispered. "Pinky promise." she said, pulling away, holding out her right-hand pinky finger.
"Pinky promise." Miranda whispered back, squeezing her pinky with Cassidy's and then Caroline's. "I am always here for you. No matter what."
"As we are for you and Andy." Caroline said, looking at Cassidy who nodded at her sister’s words.
"Always." Cassidy whispered.
Miranda smiled sadly at the two of them. "You have no idea how much I love the both of you." she said, holding her daughter's one more time before standing. She wiped her eyes, and breathed in before shakily letting it out. She looked at the time. 7:15PM. She was meant to be having an international SKYPE call with French RUNWAY.
The sound of the doorbell rang.
"That's going to be Alecia and Emma." Caroline said, standing from the couch, wiping her tears. "I should tell them to come back tomorrow."
"No no." Miranda replied, putting an arm around Caroline and walking down to the door with her. "You all need to do this project for School. Plus, I think it will be good for you and Cassidy to not be alone right now."
"Okay."
Miranda nodded. "Just remember to keep it quiet."
"We'll study at the island counter instead of the dining room." The latter room being closer to the master bedroom.
Miranda wandered back upstairs, heard the front door open as her daughter’s friends began chattering away, laughing at this and that until they obviously saw Caroline's somber face and stopped instantly. "What's wrong?"
The girls knew to not say anything about her relationship with Andrea to anyone until they came out to the public, and she knew the girls could explain why they were so sad without getting into too much detail.
Sighing Miranda rubbed her face, and stopped just outside the closed French doors of her room she shared with the brunette beauty. She pulled out her phone and texted Elise.
Family emergency, cancel schedule until midday tomorrow.
She knew this would put Elise into a major panic, but that didn't matter right now. She then pulled up her message thread with Nigel.
Something has come up, you need to manage everything until midday tomorrow.
Of course, Nigel was quick to respond, not even three seconds later.
Nothing is ever as important as RUNWAY. What's wrong? Are the girls okay? Should I come over?
Miranda's eyes widened at those last words. He hadn't been to the townhouse for over a year now since the whole Paris mess happened, their friendship never being the same, however it was slowly, very slowly mending.
As much as she wanted her dear friends company she knew she needed to be there for Andrea if the brunette were to wake up.
Cassidy and Caroline are okay. A family emergency has happened in Andrea's family, it will be a very trying time, and I need to be here for her... Her thumb hesitated over the delete button, to erase the whole part of Andrea as she hasn't come out to Nigel about her romance with the brunette beauty even though she thought he suspected. She kept those words written, if she wanted to be friends with Nigel again she needed to start being honest with him again. Will explain more tomorrow. Just don't burn the place down before I get there. She joked, and sent the text.
Doesn't sound good. Give Six a hug for me.
Haha, RUNWAY is always in safe hands with me even if you don't always agree with my decisions :p
Yes, there were plenty occasions when they didn't agree with one another, and yet they always made it work - it had always helped with the strong friendship bond they'd had together.
Hoping that friendship could go back to normal soon, Miranda put her phone on silent before pocketing it, and entering the bedroom. Her lover was still in the exact same spot she'd left her, and settled in beside her once again. An early night’s sleep would do her good.
~*~
Two Nights Later.
“What are you doing?” Caroline sleepily asked, rubbing her eyes as she walked into the kitchen, yawning.
“Oh, bobbsey, what are you doing up?” Miranda asked, looking up as she continued rolling dough, sprinkling more flour over it.
“You're covered in flour.”
“Oh, am I?” Miranda questioned, looking down at herself. “Oh well.” She cleared her throat, putting the dough inside a bowl, covering it with plastic wrap.
“You're making... a lot of bread!” Caroline commented, looking at the ten-other bowls of dough set aside to rise.
“I did a Soy and Linseed for you, bobbsey.” Miranda responded.
“Okay, great.” Caroline replied, walking further into the kitchen. “I think you need to sit down.”
“What, no. If I sit down my mind will begin racing again with everything that's happening. Baking is keeping my mind off of all that!” She replied, putting on her crocodile oven mitten to pull out the pizza bases she'd also made. “Andrea loves bread and pizza.”
“It's not going to change what's happened.” Caroline commented, picking up one of the cooling blueberry muffins.
“They'll be hot still!” Miranda warned, watching as her daughter cut it open, the steam escaping. “This can at least help. What is it they say... comfort food.”
“Andy is lucky to have you, Mommy.” Caroline said, putting her arms around her.
“Thank you, sweetheart.” Miranda replied, putting an arm around her daughter. “I'm just... I'm trying to do the best I can in this difficult situation.”
“And you're doing amazingly. All that matters is that you're there for Andy, mom, she doesn't need all of this...”
“But she'll love eating all this... when she's ready to eat... she needs the fiber.” Miranda said, checking on the very first lot of dough to see it has risen perfectly. “Why are you awake still? It's late.”
“I couldn't sleep. I keep thinking about Andy and this stupid algebra test. Why is it I'm good at everything else but I cannot get through one algebra test?!”
“Is there anything I can help you with?” Miranda asked. Who am I kidding?! I am horrible at mathematics!
“I was going to ask Andy the other night, but then...”
“Ah.” Miranda replied, understanding. She also knew that Andrea was also tossing and turning upstairs with a pile of tissues next to her. “You can go and see if she is up for helping you... she asked earlier how your prep work is going... she might want the distraction.”
“I don't want to be a burden.”
“Oh sweetheart, you could never be a burden to Andrea, she loves you and Cassidy. Speaking of Cassidy did Louise leave?”
“No, Cassidy snuck her back upstairs.”
Miranda couldn't help but laugh. “I don't know what I'll ever do with her!” She turned back to Caroline once she finished putting the dough in the bread tin and inside the oven. “I didn't see Darcy here earlier?”
“She had to stay home to do her chores.” Caroline huffed. “But she wants us to go and see a movie tomorrow night. Max is going to take us.”
“That sounds like a good idea. You need to be with your friends right now.” Miranda replied, just as footsteps were heard down the hallway.
“I have reflux.” Andrea said, grumbling, coming into the kitchen, rubbing her throat and chest. “I'm getting pissed off! None of the remedies I usually do are working!”
“Bicarbonate soda and a bit of water... always does the trick.” Miranda replied, causing her lover to blanch at the thought.
“You Brit's are strange.” Andrea commented, pulling out the milk and drinking straight from the carton.
Normally she would comment about this, and hand over a glass, but tonight she let it slide. “It's not a British thing.” Miranda snorted. “I actually learnt it from Marianna and she was American.”
“Well, still strange.”
“It works wonders.” Miranda responded, but knew her lover wasn't going to budge.
“How's that homework going, kid?” Andrea asked, looking to Caroline.
Caroline shrugged. “Okay, I guess.”
“I know that look.” Andrea replied. “What's up?”
“I'm confused with a few of the equations.”
“Alright, up you get and meet me in the dining room." Andrea replied.
“Are you sure, I don't...”
“I'm...” Andrea stopped to burp. “Sure.”
“Thanks Andy!” Caroline replied, getting down from the stool and leaving the room with her muffin.
“Are you-“ Miranda began to speak, her lover cutting her off.
“Please don't ask me if I'm okay.”
“… Hungry?” Miranda finished. She watched as Andrea bit the inside of her lip, knowing she read her words wrong.
“Sorry." Andrea replied, looking sheepish then shrugged. "If it helps get rid of the reflux.” She added, taking her hand and squeezing before letting go.
“I'll bring something light up for you.” Miranda responded, watching as Andrea left the room with the carton of milk still in her hand.
"By the way, you're covered in flour." Andrea said over her shoulder, those gorgeous brown eyes looking at her with so much sadness, but there was a slight hint of amusement.
Swallowing hard as the room became empty once more Miranda sat down on one of the stools and tried to keep her emotions in check.
Staring into Andreas red, blotchy, watery eyes with cheeks stained with tears was incredibly hard for her especially knowing there was nothing she could do to make any of this better.
“As long as you're there for her, that's all that matters.” Caroline's words echoed in her mind.
Nodding and clearing her throat, wiping her own watery eyes she began preparing a small meal for her lover; pumpkin soup and freshly cooked bread.
I must be strong, and be there for her. She thought, nodding to herself again as she got the soup ladle. I can do that. I'm good at keeping my emotions in check when necessary.
~*~
The Next Morning.
Walking into the bedroom Miranda was surprised to find the bed empty and made. “Andrea?”
“Closet.”
Going over to the closet she entered the space to find Andrea getting dressed in shabby clothing; old faded sweat pants and a white baggy tee-shirt that she was covering with a grey hoodie. “What are you-“
“Going to work. I'm still new at the NEW YORKER and I can't be slacking off any more than I have been.”
“It's not slacking off. I'm sure they understand comple-“
“Even so. I can't continue... this...” her lover waved to the bed out in the other room. “I need to work, keep my mind distracted, and this new work assignment will help me do that.”
“Work assignment?” Miranda was confused. “You haven't been given a new assignment.”
“No, this is to do with my homeless series.” Andrea responded, putting a beanie on. "I came up with this little assignment myself."
Eyes widening Miranda put two and two together. “Surely you aren't going to do what I'm thinking...”
“Getting out there on the streets, blending in with them, seeing and learning first-hand what these people are going through, how they ended up there... This will give me better knowledge for my next piece because right now I'm only going by what I've heard... I can’t fully and truly write about homelessness if I haven't experienced it, in some form, myself.”
Miranda opened and closed her mouth, absolutely baffled. Her lover was an extraordinary human being for wanting to do this but she just... she was having trouble with the idea.
“What? So now you've got a problem with this assignment too?” Andrea questioned, tone angry, looking at her briefly as she picked up a ratty old black back-pack, angrily throwing a few minuscule items inside. “The one great idea I've come up with to help my career and you're thinking of it like the Middle East all over again!”
Miranda remained calm at the outburst knowing all the emotions that her lover was feeling right now. “You simply took me by surprise, that's all.”
“Oh, come on, Miranda! I'm sure there must be some kind of spiel you want to give me.” Andrea said, brushing past her to enter the bathroom where she washed her mouth out with LISTERINE.
I'm worried... concerned that something might happen to you. Miranda thought, but did not say, knowing how familiar she would sound with the past Middle East problem. At least she’ll be in the city and not near war-zones. And with this thought it eased her slightly. I can go to her at the drop of a hat if she needs me.
“I'm waiting...”
Miranda shook her head, walking over to her lover and putting her arms around Andrea's waist, the brunette’s body stiff. “Darling, relax... I'm not angry, I'm not anything aside from surprised. I think it's wonderful that you want to do this... to get first-hand knowledge.” I just wish you were doing it inside the Soup Kitchen.
Andrea sighed. “I'm sorry, I shouldn't have snapped.”
“You don't need to apologies.” She replied, watching as her lover closed her eyes and leaned into her.
Andrea relaxed in her arms for less than five seconds. “I gotta go.”
“Let me put together something for breakfast and a few snacks to keep in your bag.” Miranda said, following her lover out of the room.
“That's going against what I'm doing.” Andrea said over her shoulder as she breezed for the staircase. “I have to experience everything first-hand which means bare minimum food.”
Miranda had to bite her tongue to hold back from saying anything. “Well... just stay away from the Pork at the Soup Kitchens. It goes through a lot of people quickly and that's the last thing you need to be dealing with.”
“I'll keep that in mind.”
Miranda still couldn't understand why the Soup Kitchen she helped at wouldn't listen to her and replace the Pork they used. Nothing she did was able to fix this problem as the owner of the place didn't like her. “And make sure to stay in visible areas.”
“I know, Miranda.”
Biting down on her lip again, she knew how motherly she was sounding and she hated it. She loves Andrea so much and doesn’t want anything to ever happen to her. “Wait...” she said, stopping to look at Andrea’s bedside table. “You've forgotten your phone.”
“Defeats the purpose of me doing this.”
“What if something happens?”
“Nothing's going to happen.”
“Where about’s will you be?”
“I'm not sure. I'll find that out once I get there.”
“Let me give you some cash in case you need to use a pay-phone.” Miranda said, reaching for her wallet, unable to believe what she was saying.
“Miranda, I'll say it again and only one more time... that defeats the purpose of why I'm doing this.”
Miranda sighed, having to fight the urge from growling. “How long will you be doing this... assignment?” she asked, grabbing her GUCCI wallet and pulling out a few wads of cash before catching up with her lover and sneaking them into the back-pack.
“I'm not sure. Until I feel I've got enough to work on.”
She hated the idea of being without Andrea for a few days, but it was clear this is what Andrea needed to do to get out of her head space she's been stuck in, and she wasn’t going to argue about it. “Just...” she sighed. “Please be careful.”
Andrea tied up her boots, nodding, from where she sat at the top of the staircase. “You know I will be.” She responded as her lover stood and began walking down.
“You forgot something.” Miranda pouted.
The brunette beauty stopped and turned around, walking over to her. “Sorry.” Andrea whispered, kissing her albeit briefly. “Thank you for understanding. I love you.”
Her lover trailed her fingers down her cheek before pulling her hand away and turning back around to walk downstairs. “I love you too.” She responded as Andrea reached the bottom. “Be careful.” She couldn't help but say again.
Andrea raised a hand up in acknowledgment to her words before making her way through the foyer and out the front door.
Sighing Miranda retreated into their room where she sat down on the bed, her shoulders slumped. Well, that was not at all how I expected to be starting my day. She thought, laying back down in Andrea’s spot, tears welling from staring into her lover's emotional, numb and lost eyes. She had no idea what she could do, and so without wanting to argue had let Andrea walk away to do this assignment when really her lover was in no frame of mind to be doing any kind of work. On the other hand, she is... she thought. She's emotional, depressed... that's how most people are living on the streets.
Again, she sighed as she rolled onto her back, wiping her tears away as she stared at the ceiling. I have to be there for her, give all the space she needs, and be there at the drop of a hat even if I am in the middle of a catwalk showing… this, what she is doing, from today and the next few days is her way of trying to deal with the horror that has happened.
Knowing she couldn’t dwell on what Andrea was doing any longer, that her lover is a grown up and knows how to take care of herself and has been walking these streets day and night for nearly two years now, she stood from the bed which she quickly fixed up where she’d crinkled it before entering the bathroom and reapplying her make-up.
Once that was done she picked up her phone. “My car better be out the front!” She snapped to the new assistant before hanging up. She might be understanding of this new work idea Andrea has come up with but it didn't mean she had to be happy about it when it meant she would be apart from Andrea for god knows how many days.
Even though she was annoyed she couldn't help but smile and be impressed that she has fallen in love with someone with such a talent, and dedication to her career that she would give up her luxuries to walk and sleep on the streets all for a simple newspaper article. She really is something else.
~*~
Two Days Later.
Miranda was ready to pull her hair out with worry after having not heard BOO from Andrea. “This is beyond ridiculous!” She loudly said to the empty house, wanting to throw her empty glass against the wall, refraining herself from doing so.
“Elise!” She snapped into her phone a minute later. “The Delaware shoot is back on! Call the others and let them know!”
It was better that she too went and did her job instead of hanging around the house dwelling on where Andrea is and what could be happening and if she's safe... As safe as she can be out there!
Growling in frustration she picked up her bag and took out her thin coat, the weather starting to feel more like Summer now, from the closet she'd hung up not even fifteen minutes ago.
When she exited the house, she was thankful to see the town car pulling up.
~*~
The Next Morning. 7am.
Looking up from where she sat on the toilet at the sound of her phone ringing and vibrating on the edge of the empty sink she quickly grabbed it, looking at the screen to see unavailable. The person was calling from a private number. “Andrea?” She asked as she answered quickly.
“It's me.”
“Oh, thank god!” Miranda responded, continuing. “I've been going out of my mind with worry! I've even been bringing my phone to the toilet which you know I would normally condemn!”
Andrea laughed on the other end but it was forced.
“Are you okay?”
“Not exactly.”
Miranda’s heart raced from worry. “What's happened?”
“I... It's really stupid, and I'm okay really, but I snuck up on this old guy I've been wanting to speak to since I came out here and I thought he was just resting his eyes but it turns out he was sleeping and he doesn't like it when he's woken up and he reacted on instinct and punched me in the face.”
Miranda’s mouth dropped open.
“I'm going to have one hell of a killer black eye by tomorrow.” Andrea laughed. "Gonna be sexy, hey."
“Oh my god.”
“Yeah...” Andrea trailed off, laughing again. “Thing is... the story doesn't end there. I'm at the hospital, have been for hours now, and no doctor has been bothered to come and see me because they think I'm actually homeless and don't seem to care that I have a bloody face. I finally managed to convince the old cow at the front desk to let me use the phone to call you. She's still giving me “I'm a mental person look” because she doesn't believe my story about how I've ended up in this situation. I guess I am mental though, right, for doing what I've been doing... sleeping on the streets on my own accord?"
“Oh darling, no, you aren't mental. You're incredible and amazing and I love you so much for doing what you've done. There aren't many people on this Planet that would willingly do what you have these last couple of days.”
“It's been so eye opening.”
“I'm sure it has, darling.”
“But my back is killing me.” Andrea said, continuing. “And my feet hurt more than usual, that blister has reappeared again and I have no Band-Aids, and I... I miss you and our bed. Can I just...” her lover's voice caught, telling her that her lover was tearing up. “Can I just come home and continue wallowing?”
“Oh Andrea.” Miranda whispered, her heart aching. “Yes, of course. But first we need to get a doctor to make sure you're okay.”
“They're horrid here.” Andrea whispered. “I'm definitely having Natalie look into this place, dig up dirt on them, and then write about their bad rep.”
Miranda smiled. “Go for it, darling. You have my full support.”
“I'm sorry again for snapping at you the other day before I left.”
“Darling, you don't need to apologies, that's already forgotten.”
“You're too good to me.”
Not really when I was a selfish bitch and didn’t want you to do your assignment. “No no, you're too good to me when we both know I'm the feared Dragon Lady. I only react the way I do because I get worried and I never want anything to happen to you. Ever.”
“You aren't a Dragon Lady, not to me anyway, and I know, darling. I know you hate me apologising right now but I'm sorry we've barely spent any time together... since this whole… thing.”
“It's completely understandable, Andrea.”
“I've been so cold and distant not just towards you but the girls.”
“Again... I, along with the girls, understand.”
“I want to make love with you tonight.” Andrea whispered.
Miranda's vagina reacted instantly from those words. “You know I'll never say no.” She responded, licking her lips, body buzzing in anticipation.
“Are you really sitting on the toilet right now?”
Miranda laughed at the quick change of conversation, and a mood killer at that. “I am.”
“You really are a changed woman with me, aren't you?” Andrea spoke, sounding as if she was smiling beautifully.
Smiling fondly herself Miranda nodded. “Yes, yes I am.”
~*~
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