It’s not just that you can’t BUY the best things in life…you can’t OWN them
A relationship is not a personality merger. I'm glad for the things [boyfriend] chooses to share with me (and I'd leave him if he never shared anything), but I know it's always his choice. The access I have to his life is a privilege, not a right. I trust that he isn't hiding anything from me that would seriously affect me, but all I can do is trust-I cannot enforce. That's not a relationship any more. It's a Panopticon.
- Pervocracy, in one of their brilliant slice-and-dicings of Cosmo magazine.
Putting this here because a) I read this blog religiously now and you might want to too (IF YOU WANT good honest NSFW/sex talk), and b) this is something I've wanted to say about a hundred times while I've been married, and watched other married couples circle the drain…It sucks that it's against the expectations you were raised with, but no, neither of you gets to own the other. You agree to trust each other, and you're free to leave if you stop trusting - but that's all. Sorry, Disney/Hollywood/Cosmo/Good Housekeeping/etc.; it's a lot simpler and less glamorous than it looks…but on the flipside, it's also stone cold awesome when it works. ;)
Originally published at *Transcendental *Logic. You can comment here or there.