Tuesday after class
Draco heard a familar tapping on his window. He looked to make sure Jonathan wasn't in the room before opening the window to let his eagle owl in. The owl was carrying a package which, upon inspection, contained the condoms he asked for from his uncles. He tossed the box in his desk drawer and opened the letter that he knew that would come with it. He sighed. He recognized his Uncle Roldolphus's masculine voice come from the letter. He had the annoying habit of sounding like he was yelling all the time.
Draco my boy! Nice to see you're getting some action at that muggle school. Don't worry, I've had my fair share of non-pureblooded women before I married your aunt. Be a good boy and don't mention that to her or your mom. I'd get AK'ed faster than I could say "But honey, she meant nothing!". So anyways tell me the details. Is she hot? What kind of coloring? Hmm? Skinny? Flexible? Give me something I'm so bored here! Big V hasn't given anything for us to do for weeks. Not to mention your aunt is pulling the Not-Tonight-I-Have-A-Headache card. So come on le-DAMMIT RABASTAN! Get off of me you big pussy! Don't make me-hold on a sec Drac-
The voice stopped abruptly. But Draco could hear a punch and what mysteriously sounded like a noogie. Then he heard Roldolphus say "Ow! You bit me!". Then the smooth voice of his Uncle Rasbastan come through.
Ignore him Draco. He's a big pervert and I can't stop him when he's on a roll. Lo-GET OFF YOU FAT ASS!
There was a sound of a bitch slap and a "Let me finish!" Rabastan's voice started up again.
Sorry again. I just want you to know that we didn't tell your mother. But I'm warning you if she does find out we won't lie for you. Hell hath no fury like Narcissa Malfoy scorned. So do try to be careful. I'm glad you wrote us. Since your father is gone we understand that you need a mentor in your life. A mentor that isn't a werewolf or a guy who can talk to snakes. But be careful and we're here if you need anything. Oh hold on-OW DON'T PINCH! Mum said-
You little baby, Mum's not going to help you. Write back with the details Draco. Let me know if you want me to stop by and meet her-
Don't listen to him. Goodbye Draco. Be careful.
Draco laughed at the letter and shook his head. Almost made him wish he wasn't an only child. Almost. He threw the letter away and laid back on his bed with a book.
ETA: He hears Sheriff Lamb's announcement on the radio. "FUCK!" he yells to nobody.
((Feel free to bother him.))
Draco my boy! Nice to see you're getting some action at that muggle school. Don't worry, I've had my fair share of non-pureblooded women before I married your aunt. Be a good boy and don't mention that to her or your mom. I'd get AK'ed faster than I could say "But honey, she meant nothing!". So anyways tell me the details. Is she hot? What kind of coloring? Hmm? Skinny? Flexible? Give me something I'm so bored here! Big V hasn't given anything for us to do for weeks. Not to mention your aunt is pulling the Not-Tonight-I-Have-A-Headache card. So come on le-DAMMIT RABASTAN! Get off of me you big pussy! Don't make me-hold on a sec Drac-
The voice stopped abruptly. But Draco could hear a punch and what mysteriously sounded like a noogie. Then he heard Roldolphus say "Ow! You bit me!". Then the smooth voice of his Uncle Rasbastan come through.
Ignore him Draco. He's a big pervert and I can't stop him when he's on a roll. Lo-GET OFF YOU FAT ASS!
There was a sound of a bitch slap and a "Let me finish!" Rabastan's voice started up again.
Sorry again. I just want you to know that we didn't tell your mother. But I'm warning you if she does find out we won't lie for you. Hell hath no fury like Narcissa Malfoy scorned. So do try to be careful. I'm glad you wrote us. Since your father is gone we understand that you need a mentor in your life. A mentor that isn't a werewolf or a guy who can talk to snakes. But be careful and we're here if you need anything. Oh hold on-OW DON'T PINCH! Mum said-
You little baby, Mum's not going to help you. Write back with the details Draco. Let me know if you want me to stop by and meet her-
Don't listen to him. Goodbye Draco. Be careful.
Draco laughed at the letter and shook his head. Almost made him wish he wasn't an only child. Almost. He threw the letter away and laid back on his bed with a book.
ETA: He hears Sheriff Lamb's announcement on the radio. "FUCK!" he yells to nobody.
((Feel free to bother him.))