My Seven Deadly Sins [Ch 5] - Envy 28 Tuesday Feb 2012
My works are unbeta-ed. Tread with caution.
TITLE: My Seven Deadly Sins
CHARACTERS: Horikita Maki, Kim Jaejoong, Ikuta Toma
GENRE: (Multi-chaptered) AU Romance Fic, Smut (H)
DISCLAIMER: I do not own the characters. This is purely made out of the writer’s (yours truly) imagination.The plot of the story is mine. There are some events that may not be accurate and has been purposely altered for the story. Apart from such, any resemblance to reality is not intended.
Chapter 5 :: ENVY
Like greed, envy is characterized by an insatiable desire; they differ, however, for two main reasons. First, greed is largely associated with material goods, whereas envy may apply more generally. Second, those who commit the sin of envy desire something that someone else has which they perceive themselves as lacking. Dante defined this as “love of one’s own good perverted to a desire to deprive other men of theirs.” Dante’s concept of envy is roughly equivalent to the meaning of the German word “schadenfreude,”or to delight in the misfortune of others. Thomas Aquinas described Envy as “sorrow for another’s good”
I couldn’t recall how long I have been smiling - nor know who was I smiling at.
One after the other, people turned to greet. Bordering from mini conversations which I relevantly countered, up to dancing invitations I graciously refused. There were also the strings of casual hints with political marriage all over, I tried not to buckle into. Characteristically, my father would be enraged, seeking it as impolite and crude.
Tonight is an exemption.
I might as well take advantage of how giddy my father is, regardless of it coming from his determination to marry me off to the Kims.
That I would never allow.
What happened last week was uncalled for, an act of weakness I should have not given in to.
Thankfully, before it turns ugly, the figure of the attractive young man I’ve been waiting for, entered the adorned ballroom. His presence itself commands attention.
We caught each other’s eye and almost instantaneously closed the gap.
“You brushed up well.” I praised and thoroughly scrutinize his expensive Armani suit. “You’re late, but I’ll forgive you this time.” I reached for his silk tie and smoothen it. I suppressed a smirk when he lightly shuddered at the contact.
Maintaining his cool composure, he gestured me to one of the ice statues. “Are you fishing for compliments too?” He chuckled but raked his eyes approvingly at my navy and silver Vivien Westwood gown. “Aren’t you a bit greedy? ‘Sure you had those from the men glaring at me.” He deliberately scanned the room and noted a couple of men looking spitefully at him.
I slung my arm to reach the enclosement of his elbow, more like a force of habit, and found women glaring at my direction.
I giggled. “You’re not short of admirers either.”
He casually just shrugged it off. “I can’t wait to get out of here.”
“I highly doubt it.” I shook my head, disagreeing to his latter comment. “Wait ‘til they find out that you’re “the” Ikuta Toma of Ikuta Holdings. I’m sure they’d want to get a piece of you.” I stated matter-of-factly.
I know how he detests social gatherings. He’s a firm believer that one can draw a line between business and private life, when all along I thought otherwise. Maybe that unconventionality was what enticed me into him in the first place. His name may have catapulted him as one of the most elusive bachelors in town, yet he remains unfazed.
He wraps his arms on my waist. “That would not do Kitty cause I’m yours for the night, and I mean it.” He huskily whispered on my ears sending tingles up to the last strand of my hair.
“I am certain that she’ll be occupied for the rest of the night,” a solid voice retorted. I felt someone seize me out of my escort’s grip to rest beside the newly arrived, yet the latter did not waver.
“Oh.” Toma retorted sarcastically. “Then maybe some other time neh?” I felt his grip tighten but greeted the other with equal intensity .
“Not tonight, not ever.” Jaejoong challenged him to let go, as his gaze met Toma’s.
For a moment, I witnessed how two very attractive men gauge the other perceived lesser individual with revulsion. Both supremely enigmatic but different altogether. While Jaejoong is fairly pale and almost blemish-free, Toma is a tasty honey and still a bit sun-kissed from the beach trip the previous week. The rawness in Toma is effortlessly suffocating that it commands firm charisma. Strong and rough around the edges. With teasing bright eyes, leaving trails of playful coyness, he simply heats up anyone who comes across between the make-believe world of unknowing and obvious awareness.
While Toma is resolute fire, Jaejoong is iced up cold.
Brooding and formidable on his Jean-Paul Gaultier three-piece suit, his almost feminine features did nothing but soften his implacably arrogant visage -yet the dangerous stupor just highlighted the man’s promised bliss. Jaejoong’s autocratic cocky self along with his sky-high self assurance added to his overbearing charm, making anybody even of high stature bow before him.
The clash seemed to be rather entertaining to the onlookers as nobody dared to interfere.
So before the tension builds up, I untangled my arms from either’s hold. I made sure to keep more distance on the man who just arrived. On my peripheral, figures of my scurrying parents are fast approaching.
“Congratulations Kim-san, what a wonderful party you have here.” I bowed as if on cue, but with a note dripping with sarcasm. “Welcome back.”
“Of course, it’s good to be back.” “Don’t you just miss me, Kii-chan?” He reagarded me, but swept a scrutinizing glance at the man in front of him.
I laughed, almost amused. “Kim-san, you’re being funny.”
“Stop being so formal, afterall, we practically grew up together.” Jaejoong’s eyes again hover over the man I am with, stressing his point.
“And that dress looks gorgeous on you.” He input before he shifted to face my parents who just got there.
“Jaejoong, we’re happy that you’re back.” My mother said to the taller man who bowed in acknowledgement.
“Thank you.I wish everyone shares the sentiment.”
It was greeted by disgruntled grunt coming from me which earned a side-eye from my father and a light chuckle from Toma.
But Jaejoong ignored it.
“Still, I love everything here, regardless.” And he almost made me wince.
“I’ve must have missed something here.” My father’s accusing tone is evident as he demands for an introduction whilst giving Toma a good going-over, rivaling the inquisitive stares of the other guests.
The man in question did not even blink. “Good evening, Horikita-san. It’s good to finally meet you. I’m Ikuta Toma,” and stretched his hands for a handshake.
Audible gasp from the crowd was heard. Murmurs followed.
I saw how my father’s expression changed from being surprised to dubious and then settled on impressed. Even my mother who is engaged on a small talk with Jaejoong took a sudden intake of breath.
Surprise, surprise! Who would’ve thought that there’s something spicy going on with an Ikuta and me? And then there’s the Kim.
I rolled my eyes.
--
I can’t help but feel that as if I am being scrutinized, cracked open. The people’s measuring stares irritates me. I am either bored or plainly uninterested to parties like this but Maki managed to persuade me - no, bribe me into coming.
It’s not that I am complaining, I already had my fun so it’s just fair to keep my end of the bargain.
Now, after launching myself to the social cavern, the pale guy who tried to snatch Maki away from me can’t keep his eyes to himself - it’s either boring holes to my head or wandering on Maki. Her parents, on a more positive note, were smitten. Everyone is eyeing me with renewed interest and I can’t help but feel that I just entered the lion’s den.
I know how clever and cunning Maki can be. It’s funny how for all the time I’ve been with her, I unintentionally brushed her off some of mine, nurturing and contributing on what she has become.
And it all made sense. All the coaxing, the trip, the needy calls, the urgency.
I still remember how she briefly mentioned her past lover. It’s almost too casual - an after-sex conversation just to fill one of those awkward silences. For someone’s first and only lover, if not for her complete nonchalance, I wouldn’t have noticed.
So he’s back.
‘Too bad, ‘too late.
“It’s rare for an Ikuta to attend gatherings. Even I only met with your father once.” Maki’s father tried to engage me in a pep talk.
“Yes. But Maki-chan here has met my family.” Maki’s mom mutely appraised her daughter.
“I think it was last year.” I added as an afterthought, pulling her shoulder closer. “Otousan’s always busy with important matters abroad that he just let us fool around with the business here.”
The older couple laughed.
“How come I’m sure it’s not only thing you fool around with?” Kim Jaejoong muttered almost inaudibly busying himself looking on my arms wrapped on Maki.
“I’m sure Otousan would love to meet Ikuta-san too.” Maki intervened. “I’ve been on one of their private parties and he’s a gracious host.”
“Surely, he is.” Mr. Horikita agreed, taking in small safe steps. He chose to ignore whatever his daughter is having with me and safely went on with his business blabbers, not even asking the most obvious of questions. Even the Korean charmer failed to shine in Mrs. Horikita’s eyes this time.
“I’ll be then inviting you over once Otousan is back.”
“I hope the invitation extends to me?”
I looked at Maki before answering. “Why not? We’re very interested in investing on Korean Royal Airways.” Which right now as unpalatable as the cold steak being topped off from a distance.
He nodded. “We could also probably discuss your Hokkaido hotels and resorts then.” His bland tone betrayed him of his interest.
“Why don’t we enjoy the party and discuss this thoroughly later, right, young men?” Maki’s parents bid their goodbyes to mingle with the other guests, leaving the three of us.
Once out of earshot, Jaejoong unceremoniously voiced out the question hovering on everyone’s mind right now. “So, how long have you known each other?”
“Jaejoong-san seems to be missing a lot.” I played. “How about we share a drink or two one of these days?” I can feel Maki’s questioning eyes on me but I continued, “I’d even tour you around Ropponggi.”
“I’d like that.” He steeled. “Maybe we could find a lot of things we have in common.”
With that, he left but not after parting Maki with a meaningful glance.
--
I pushed him back. He chuckled but let himself fall on the cushioned leather sofa which he automatically nuzzled upon contact.
“You should stay here.” I said flatly.
“Hmm?” He acknowledged, and added a couple of indistinct words while I try to remove his shoes.
He doesn’t get drunk easily so I was nothing but surprised when one of the servers lead me to a slurring and barely standing Toma. I had no choice but to drag him in one of the hotel’s rooms. We barely even reach the bed when he collapsed willingly to the waiting sofa.
I couldn’t help but raise my eyebrows when I saw how pathetic he looks as I continued pulling his already loosened tie. Toma, on the state of fishing for pillows, albeit blindly, groaned realizing there aren’t any and contented himself by flipping to the other side.
The action tightened my hold on the collar I was struggling to unbutton. I tried freeing my hands but to no avail. He scrunched his face and made a strangled sound.
This time looking at his adorable expression, I couldn’t suppress it.
I laughed heartily.
“I’m glad strangling me makes you laugh.” Came the soft voice of Toma.
I stopped. There he was, looking intently at me.
Without questions, just knowing.
Without accusations, but understanding.
Without judgments simply believing.
If only I could explain the many other emotions I can see in his eyes, I would. But at that moment, I feel like drowning into them.
“If only everyone could see me through your eyes.” I whispered before leaning forward and kissing his eyelids.
I wasn’t sure if he heard me but after pushing me off of him, he callously trod towards the huge bed, leaving me cold and empty.
--
It wasn’t my intention to pretend as drunk. In fact, I really wish I am.
Sadly, I had this weird notion of getting drunk with the local cheap beer than the costly century-old intoxicants being served at the hotel’s bar. I’ve tried their wines and drank a glass or two of their strongest brandy but settled on swigs of their infamous scotch on the rocks until I decided that I like how it stroked through my system. Dry and raw.
I drank, paying no heed to ladies boldly flirting with me and men trying to sell themselves an impromptu business proposal.
I drink in the scene before me. Tuning out everything.
Because only her matters.
It’s ironic how this feeling crept out making me aware all of a sudden. That after being together with Maki for quite some time, it’s only now I can admit to this. And after thinking that everything is alright - appreciating how agreeable our current relationship status is to the two of us, even - now this three-headed monster of a feeling is eating me up.
And I wish nothing but to thrash and curse on anything that is holy.
I filled myself with another shot and drank it at once to numb the pain coming from my once nonexistent heart as I remember how last week she only has her eyes for me.