hmm...
well..lets see...today was a waste of muh time. i did nothing. normally kids look foreward to hall passing time in school...but it one of the things i hate.....especially 2nd and 5th hour. :-\ i see this person these hours..i normally talk to them..but they decided to ignore me and act like i dont exsist. this tears me apart! i hate that shit. doing that to me literally kills me!!! i dunno....people have been telling me to let go....say 'fuck it' and just forget about this.....but i cant...i dunno if i can.....i dunno if i want to......deep down inside i know i have to....but.....i just cant :-\ as much as i tell muhself 'i dont like him...i cant like him..there no point'....i cant help muhself..there will always be a feeling there....and sometimes it soo strong that it rips me apart....especially when i think about this at night. i have been sleep deprived for awhile...this isnt helping me at all :-\ too much school work....it soo complicating. for english we have to read this book 'tale of two cities' by charels dickens...it the hardest thing in the world. it a bitch to understand....welll some parts are. i dunno....i think i might be slackin.....(BAD SARAH!!) hehe....but w/e. lately i've been having fears of going to bed....it the weirdest thing in the world. i have been having scary dreams...and people say that dreams come true...that what im afraid of. i've been dreamin that there are these people, and some of them i know really well....well they plot to like kill me or like rape me....it the scariest stuff....u have to see it..lol.
diet..diet..DIET....!!!!!!!!!!i need to really go on one. this is killing me....i've become soo fuckin fat...that i dont wanna do anything...i dont wanna ware any of muh clothes that i own...it pretty sad. and im hoping that IF i go one a diet..ill loose these motherfuckiin TITS! they bother the hell out of me. also..i cant have a decent convo with a guy without him lookin at me instead of muh fuckin boobs. AAAEEERHHHHGGGG imma bout to pop one of em in the face if they do that again.....>:-O. but idk..first i need to find the strenght inside me to actually go on a diet..then i need to go to Finish Line and buy some new 'runnin' kicks. i have to start runnin again..
well....that all the complaining i have for now..ill be back 2morro to greive again..(hopefull ill have less ;-) )
~*sarah*~