COMIC RELIEF
COMIC RELIEF
To Make You Smile
In the beginning, God created the Heavens and the earth and
populated the Earth with broccoli, cauliflower and spinach,
green and yellow and red vegetables of all kinds, so Man
and Woman would live long and healthy lives.
Then using God's great gifts, Satan created Ben and Jerry's
Ice Cream and Krispy Creme Donuts. And Satan said, "You
want chocolate with that?" and Man said, "Yes!" and Woman
said, "and as long as you're at it, add some sprinkles."
And they gained 10 pounds. And Satan smiled.
And God created the healthful yogurt that Woman might keep
the figure that Man found so fair. And Satan brought forth
white flour from the wheat, and sugar from the cane and
combined them. And Woman went from size 12 to size 18.
So God said, "Try my fresh green salad." And Satan
presented Thousand-Island Dressing, buttery croutons and
garlic toast on the side. And Man and Woman unfastened
their belts following the repast.
God then said, "I have sent you heart-healthy vegetables
and olive oil in which to cook them." And Satan brought
forth deep-fried fish and chicken-fried steak so big it
needed its own platter. And Man gained more weight and his
cholesterol went through the roof.
God then created a light, fluffy white cake, named it
"Angel Food Cake," and said, "It is good." Satan then
created chocolate cake and named it "Devil's Food."
God then brought forth running shoes so that His children
might lose those extra pounds And Satan gave cable TV with
a remote control so Man would not have to toil changing the
channels. And Man and Woman laughed and cried before the
flickering blue light and gained pounds.
Then God brought forth the potato, naturally low in fat and
brimming with nutrition. And Satan peeled off the healthful
skin and sliced the starchy center into chips and
deep-fried them. And Man gained pounds.
God then gave lean beef so that Man might consume fewer
calories and still satisfy his appetite. And Satan created
McDonald's and its 99-cent double cheeseburger, then said,
"You want fries with that?" And Man replied, "Yes! And
super size them!" And Satan said, "It is good." And Man
went into cardiac arrest.
God sighed and created quadruple bypass surgery. Then Satan
created HMOs.
To Make You Smile
In the beginning, God created the Heavens and the earth and
populated the Earth with broccoli, cauliflower and spinach,
green and yellow and red vegetables of all kinds, so Man
and Woman would live long and healthy lives.
Then using God's great gifts, Satan created Ben and Jerry's
Ice Cream and Krispy Creme Donuts. And Satan said, "You
want chocolate with that?" and Man said, "Yes!" and Woman
said, "and as long as you're at it, add some sprinkles."
And they gained 10 pounds. And Satan smiled.
And God created the healthful yogurt that Woman might keep
the figure that Man found so fair. And Satan brought forth
white flour from the wheat, and sugar from the cane and
combined them. And Woman went from size 12 to size 18.
So God said, "Try my fresh green salad." And Satan
presented Thousand-Island Dressing, buttery croutons and
garlic toast on the side. And Man and Woman unfastened
their belts following the repast.
God then said, "I have sent you heart-healthy vegetables
and olive oil in which to cook them." And Satan brought
forth deep-fried fish and chicken-fried steak so big it
needed its own platter. And Man gained more weight and his
cholesterol went through the roof.
God then created a light, fluffy white cake, named it
"Angel Food Cake," and said, "It is good." Satan then
created chocolate cake and named it "Devil's Food."
God then brought forth running shoes so that His children
might lose those extra pounds And Satan gave cable TV with
a remote control so Man would not have to toil changing the
channels. And Man and Woman laughed and cried before the
flickering blue light and gained pounds.
Then God brought forth the potato, naturally low in fat and
brimming with nutrition. And Satan peeled off the healthful
skin and sliced the starchy center into chips and
deep-fried them. And Man gained pounds.
God then gave lean beef so that Man might consume fewer
calories and still satisfy his appetite. And Satan created
McDonald's and its 99-cent double cheeseburger, then said,
"You want fries with that?" And Man replied, "Yes! And
super size them!" And Satan said, "It is good." And Man
went into cardiac arrest.
God sighed and created quadruple bypass surgery. Then Satan
created HMOs.