Weird Rite of Passage
Today was an interesting day. I found out one of the clients I have been working with for almost 2 years, an older gay guy, had another suicide attempt. His last attempt was shortly after I started working with him and I wasn't really sure how to deal with it at the time. Today, when I heard, I felt mildly guilty that I hadn't been in as regular touch with him lately. I did feel mildly guilt particularily that I hadn't called sooner after the November elections to see how he was doing, but overall I felt mild detachment. This makes it easier for me to hold space for his pain and warm thoughts for his healing. I suppose it is a weird rite of passage because when I first started doing social service type work I asked older professionals how they kept going for so long, and "mild detachment" was the answer. I suppose this means I'm good to stay in social service type work for the long haul but my heart really is in advocacy and systems change.