The Preserve | Sunday Morning
Waking up went about as well as it had on Saturday and even before Jake was aware of anything else, he knew he was hungry again. He'd fallen asleep with Caroline playing for huge pillow and space heater as they'd been unable to get her to change back as the mere suggestion of relaxing caused her to freak out more. Considering the diminished size of the person he was leaning against, it seemed that she'd changed back in her sleep.
That was one thing less to worry about. Now if only he wouldn't be so aware of the sound of her heartbeat and how that warm scent meant fresh blood which had to be better than the cold stuff he'd drank the previous day.
Just one more day. God, he couldn't imagine what he'd do if he had to be like this for a week. It was beyond him how Caroline fought this every day. He debated taking off alone and removing himself from all temptations, but he couldn't leave Caroline alone like that. He hadn't been much of a help to her yesterday, but the changes were scary and couldn't let her deal with that on her own.
It was only the sound of something moving in the brushes that reminded him that vampires could do fine hunting animals instead. He checked to make sure Caroline was still well asleep, probably exhausted from the morphing, before he got to his feet. He went quiet, trying to listen to sounds other than Caroline's heartbeat behind him and then followed the first noise he heard.
It was frustrating hunting like this with half of his senses gone. It made him slower, having to listen longer to make sure it wasn't just the wind playing tricks on him and he seemed to be missing that hunter instinct. So by the time he made it back to where Caroline was still sleeping, Jake was more hungry than before and he was pretty sure all the wildlife in the preserve was mocking him.
He knelt down beside her and put his hand on her shoulder to nudge her awake when he froze, the words getting stuck in his throat while he stared down at her. Her neck was completely exposed and Jake was mesmerised watching the pulse point at her throat. He wasn't even aware anymore that it was strange to be watching himself like this. The steady whoosh of her blood moving through the veins was drowning out any other sounds. It was like a promise and he only had to lean forward and that hunger would finally, finally go away.
Caroline was having the weirdest dreams. As she stirred with the movement around her, she so didn't want to go back to sleep, even if her nose was nearly burning with the smell of - oh right, that was her old self mingled with the scent of the preserve and all the animals that had been near there in the last day.
She could feel that Jake was practically hovering over her, probably trying to wake her up and one long arm reached out to hook around him and see if she could get him to hug her for a little comfort after that awful, furry dream.
The movement startled him and if it hadn't been for the arm wrapping around his neck, he might have jumped back. Instead, she was drawing him in, closer to that warmth and that promise. His fingers dug into her shoulder and he opened his mouth to protest, but it was like he could almost almost taste it. He couldn't think and he damn well couldn't move away, desire overriding everything as he leaned further down in the direction her arms were pulling him.
It was like an invitation, one he had no desire to turn down. It was what he was meant to do and he pressed his mouth to that pulse point, his teeth grazing against the skin and stirring his desire further and then he could feel the warmth in his mouth, that delicious taste on his tongue and nothing else in the world mattered.
Her surprise over his willingness to kiss her shortly became complete shock as she felt those fangs breaking her skin and that tongue lapping up the blood that poured out. It was a strange feeling, though not entirely painful even if she knew it was going to cause him some pain later on.
"Jake, no," she murmured, not pushing him away, so much as petting a hand through the long, blonde hair that hung between them.
He was barely aware of what she was saying and the feel of her fingers in his hair felt more like an encouragement than anything else. He made a low, possessive sound and he shifted closer, drinking even more eagerly now, finally able to truly satisfy his hunger.
As much as her mouth opened at the familiar sweetness of his bite, Caroline knew this was not something Jake wanted for himself or for his old body. Plus it pissed her off just a little that Jake was not understanding the meaning of no. Aware of just how strong the hold could be once he'd started drinking, it almost hurt her to roughly shove him away.
And okay, so maybe she shouldn't have pushed that hard.
Flying across the clearing and hitting the ground with a resounding thump was enough of a wake up call. He actually managed to bite his own lip as the fangs were refusing to go away and okay, so there was a moment when the taste of blood was still taking over his brain until he stared across towards Caroline. He was a sloppy drinker and he reached up, brushing some of the warm wetness from his chin.
He stared at the blood coating his fingers with a mixture of revulsion at what he'd done and a desire to lick his fingers clean. "Fuck."
It was kind of awful, smelling blood without it evoking any sort of wonderful feelings. Just death and repulsion and the need to wipe it away from her neck as fast as she could. Only she was naked and wow, was that a different way of looking at Jake's body. Luckily Caroline was distracted by seeing herself looking horrified across the clearing where she'd thrown him. He was so never going to forgive her for this.
"Jake, I'm sorry," she said, rushing over to his side with the wave of guilt and horror at what had just transpired. "Please, just breathe and think of me and good things and it'll go away, I promise. You don't have to bite me to feel better."
It made no sense that she was apologising when he'd just been biting her. It was official, he made for a lousy vampire. He was already breathing and it brought the scent of blood with it. His hand was shaking as he tried to wipe the blood off on the grass. He didn't dare look up at her, realising that seeing him like this was probably as disturbing to her as it was to him.
It was awful seeing him in her body all nightmarish and blood stained. It was like watching a movie of her first night as a vampire all over again, only Jake wasn't crying and screaming like a terrified teenager.
Still, she crouched down beside him on the grass, reaching out to take that face in giant hands and use the hem of his shirt to clean off some of the blood. "You're okay. I promise, it's not as bad as you think right now and trust me, I've been there."
He made a noise of disbelief which sounded more like a hiccough than anything else. He wanted to lean forward, rest his forehead against her shoulder and ignore the weirdness of having the wrong body, but she smelled like blood too and he drew back, shaking his head. "I bit you."
"Jake, don't," she complained, trying to get him to stay with her. "You don't know how to control it yet. At least I know what's going on and can help you...plus it's not like you hurt me." Hell, it had almost felt good, which was so so so wrong even if it reminded Caroline a bit of her past.
That argument had never worked on her, and it wasn't working on him now. "I think helping me involves locking me up somewhere."
"Oh right, because you would ever let me be locked up," she reminded him, wringing her hands and wishing he'd let her touch him. "Just...remember that it's okay. I've done way worse and you forgave me."
He'd started digging his fingers in the dirt, trying to get rid of the blood that was stubbornly sticking to his skin. Hopefully she'd forgive him for getting dirt under her perfectly manicured nails.
"I don't know how you do this. It's like nothing else matters. It drowns out everything and I'm still hungry."
"I know," she looked down, embarrassed and saddened at how desperate he was to not be covered in blood and how much he obviously hated being her. "I wish I could make it better for you."
He made another move towards her, but the scent of blood was far too strong and he stopped himself again. It was liking some sort of monster roller coaster, stuck between an insane desire to bite anyone he met and a whole lot of guilt and self loathing.
He pulled his legs up and rested his forehead against his knees, trying that whole breathing thing she kept talking about.
Caroline reached over to pet his hair, hoping that helped him as much as it usually helped her to know that someone cared. "I think we need to get cleaned up if you want to feel better, sweetie. Are you willing to go back to the dorms?" It was her fault they weren't there already and she kicked herself for sucking at being a werewolf. Maybe if she was capable of doing anything right this wouldn't be happening to him.
"Think everyone's gone on the trip yet?" Jake asked, because a dorm full of people didn't seem like the best place to go when he'd just munched on the one person that mattered most of thim.
"I don't know," she admitted, kind of sad at the thought of missing vacation. "I don't have a watch or a phone or even underwear right now." The nude thing was seriously odd. "Are you afraid you'll attack them? Because I can promise you I'm at least powerful enough in your body to stop that."
He glanced up at her to take in the nudity. It was just weird seeing it from this angle without a mirror view. "I suppose you would be," he agreed. "And I guess I lost my modesty a long time ago."
"It's weird," she admitted, rubbing a hand over her face and finding it so freaky to feel the differences in the features she touched. "But I could always use my jacket. Your jacket, whatever. Or we could go jump in the bay. For once I wouldn't be freezing." Which was almost amusing.
He let out a breath which was about as much of a sign of amusement as he could muster right now. "Staying here sounds good, but unless I get more food..." He was pretty sure he didn't have to finish that sentence. "Maybe you should get me drunk. You said it helps."
"I think I'd try anything to make you feel better about this mess I got you into," she admitted. "Let's get back to the dorms. I can give you more blood and then go get some other things to help you through." The way she was immediately planning out how to keep Jake feeling both sated and sane was part instinct and part desire to stop him from hating her too much once he was back in his own body.
All she really wanted was to go back in time and never let this horrible weekend happen so that now they'd be happy and packed for a sunny and warm vacation in the southern hemisphere.
He frowned and reached out to grasp her hand. It was strange how large they were compared to his. "You didn't get me into this, Caroline. I think we've got the island to thank for that."
"Yeah, well, I can't help feeling responsible," she murmured, taking hold of his cold hand gratefully. She looked into blue eyes like she was staring at a mirror, only she didn't see her desperate need for him to stay reflected back at her. "Just stay with me, okay? I won't let you do anything you'll regret."
He nodded, his gaze drifting back for an instant to the spot where he had bitten her. He knew the wound was long gone, but the blood wasn't and he swallowed hard. "You're not responsible for me having no self control."
"Yes I am," she insisted, following his gaze and wiping at the blood with her hand. "Because it's not you. It's what I am."
"Which isn't your fault either," he replied, squeezing her hand. "Being a vampire is as much your choice as being a werewolf is to me. No one asked our opinion first."
"It was my fault I finished the transition," she said in a tiny yet manly voice, realizing this was something she'd never really admitted to anyone before. "If I'd known what was happening..." She would have done the same thing and drank the blood. Caroline didn't want to die. "It wouldn't have made a difference."
"Do you want me to hold that against you?" he asked, raising an eyebrow at her. He braved the lingering scent of blood to lean forward and meet her eyes. "If you hadn't, I wouldn't have you now."
"No," she said instantly, not wanting to get upset while she was in his body. He wasn't all that pretty of a crier. "I just wouldn't fault you for it. Come on," Caroline got to her feet and tugged Jake along with her. "You've got at least another day before you can decide whether or not you can stand looking at me knowing what you know now. While we walk, you can just stare at your own fine ass and be horrified that you're in love with yourself."
"Why wouldn't I be able to stand looking at you?" Jake demanded, deciding to ignore the ass remark because he seriously didn't want to think about. He wasn't ready to let go of her hand after all and being horrified would mean he'd have to let go.
"Because," she shrugged, preferring to talk about his ass. "There are just some things about me that I didn't want you to ever experience." Or even know about. "Things I feel would be dealbreakers to someone who is already overlooking so many other issues." Like that godawful smell.
"Exactly what wasn't I supposed to find out?" he asked. "Because all I've figured out right now is that you're a hell of a lot stronger than anyone I know for fighting this every fucking day."
Okay, that was so not what Caroline had been expecting. "You...you aren't upset about it?"
"I'm upset about a lot of things right now, but none of them involve changing my mind about being with you," he said stubbornly, because if any of his traits was going to get augmented, that'd be the one.
"Well how the hell am I supposed to know that?" she returned, her response almost snappish since he was being all stubborn about it. "You look and sound completely miserable, like you absolutely hate being me."
"Because I am!" he replied instantly, his voice rising because he couldn't do or feel anything without it feeling almost insurmountable. "I hate this. I just bit you and drank your blood. How can I do anything but hate that? And you know what the worst part is? I'd do it again in a split second. All those years of control I've been teaching myself and it doesn't help me for one second."
"I'm sorry!" she told him, feeling completely useless and awful for being what he hated. "Don't you think I know? I have moments where I slip and catch myself staring at your jugular and thinking how easy it would be. And I completely hate myself for those moments." Even though she hadn't given in to those urges in ages.
Jake stopped walking and he tugged on her hand so she'd stop and face him. "I said I hate being like this, I didn't say I hate you. I thought being a wolf was bad, but it's nothing compared to this. It's like all I am right now is this hunger, but you've grown past that."
"I haven't," she said, shaking her head. "I'm just better at ignoring it than you are. You're a day into the hunger. I've been like this for over a year and I had someone teaching me the tricks in the beginning. Without him, I'd still be like you are right now."
"Caroline," he reached up to tug her head down. "Damn, but it's annoying that you're taller," he grumbled underneath his breath.
"Take a compliment when I give it to you, okay? You didn't have to fight. You could have given in and let it control you. It would have been a whole lot easier if you had, but you didn't. That says a lot."
She sighed, leaning her forehead down against his and closing her eyes. "Okay, so I'm kind of awesome still. I just imagine what it must be like for you and I freak out like you're going to decide it's too much to deal with worrying that I'll screw up and go to the dark side or whatever."
"I don't worry about that," he reached up, threading his fingers through her hair and his thumbs rubbed right behind her ear. "You know why I don't? Because I know you love me and you wouldn't fuck me over like that."
She smiled a little, liking the way her whole body relaxed at the ear rubs and appreciating that Jake wasn't freaking over the drying blood so much anymore. "It's true." And God, was he lucky they'd spent the last week in a state of constant make outs and sex or she'd be pushing the idea of kissing him. His issue with making out with dudes be damned.
"Damn right," he agreed.
Did it count as kissing a guy when it was his girl inside? He was pretty sure he was crazy when he tilted his head up and brushed his lips gently over hers.
No, Caroline had not expected him to read her mind and kiss her, but understand that she immediately returned the sentiment, pulling back only when she realized that the good feelings those lips evoked in her were uh, kind of obvious to the world. "Oh God..."
Oh god indeed. Jake was stuck between horrified and amused at her expression and he barely contained a laugh as he pulled back and shrugged out of his coat.
"Feeling frisky?" he asked, tossing her the coat and hopefully the way his hair was falling across his face would keep her from noticing he was blushing. Stupid, pale vampire skin.
"Apparently," she sighed, taking the coat and wrapping it around her waist and trying to wish away her new problem if only because she was going to mess up her coat if she couldn't manage it. She didn't notice the blushing as she was rather selfishly focused and slowly leading them back to the dorms.
"You know, maybe I should make lemonade out of the lemon that is this weekend and let myself really enjoy my shower when we get back to the room." Oh yeah, she was smirking as she glanced back at Jake for his reaction.
"That'd be so much hotter if you were yourself right now," Jake said with a sigh. At least he wasn't infatuated with himself like that?
"It's true," she agreed. "But I find you, meaning me at the moment, extremely hot so I think this will work out for my best interests. And it happens to be so much better to think about than obsessing over the red stuff and whatever the hell it is you're thinking. Trust me, sexy thoughts will help you almost as much as tequila and corn chips. Or maybe I'm just tapping into your horniness."
"It helps with the moods as well," Jake admitted, wondering exactly what she was getting at and how willing he was to understand it.
Did he ever know what she was getting at when she rambled? And was now really the time to start worrying about it?
"Is this me being moody?" Caroline asked, unsure even as she reached for his hand, thinking they might need that if he caught any interesting sounds before she could react beyond her extreme sniffer.
"No. You were worse yesterday," Jake assured her. "I told you changing would help with that."
"I guess you know yourself pretty well," she said, giving his hand a squeeze. "And I'm thinking even with the horror that was not being able to change back, I got the easy end of this. Relatively speaking. It would've been better with a frisbee."
"This means that I don't get to complain about it anymore, huh?" he slowed down as he heard the familiar noises when they approached the dorms and he wondered what people would make of them in this state.
"You're fine," she murmured, encouraging him to meet her steady pace as she tugged him along. "And no. You get nothing but belly rubs and ear scratches for the rest of your life."
"It's so wrong how that sounds good," he glanced towards the doors. "Maybe we should make a run for it."
"Good idea," she nodded. "I'll drag you, now that you're all slow and pathetic." Of course she was only kidding, but she hoped it would encourage him to be more focused on his speed than the beating hearts in the stairwell.
It would have worked better if he'd been in his own body, really. "It's true," he agreed, "but you're so not as good like that as I am."
"Keep telling yourself that, big boy," she teased, waggling her eyebrows at him before breaking into super speeds that left the two of them a blur as they made their way back to her room on the second floor. Seriously, she was lucky they didn't have to get to the fifth.
[Once again preplayed for all the pretty icons.]