(no subject)
It finally started to really hit me, today..
At first, I thought I'd be fine.. I mean, it's not like the relationship didn't already have its ups and downs, from the very beginning. And, besides, I have, what, two different girls both actively trying to persue me? Both of whom I've wanted for some time? The only reason I had told either of them 'no' in the past, was to stay faithful, and now I can freely see either one. Both. I'm already fine.. right?
Zeb, one of my muslim coworkers, got me a Zen sand garden for a christmas present (he was my 'secret santa' at work). I had decided that, as cool as sand from China was, sand that I got myself, from my very first trip to the ocean, would be even cooler, and I filled it with that. Today, I look over, and I see this sand sitting there, little pokes and stuff I had made with the rake, the night before, and it really fucking hits me; I really cared for this girl. This woman who was with me when I got that sand. This woman that is still taking up more pics on my cell phone than everything else on there, put together, half of which were of the both of us.. Gone. No more IM's back and forth. None of the all-night phone calls or the song-singing that I was already missing before she dumped me..
Gone.
At first, I thought I'd be fine.. I mean, it's not like the relationship didn't already have its ups and downs, from the very beginning. And, besides, I have, what, two different girls both actively trying to persue me? Both of whom I've wanted for some time? The only reason I had told either of them 'no' in the past, was to stay faithful, and now I can freely see either one. Both. I'm already fine.. right?
Zeb, one of my muslim coworkers, got me a Zen sand garden for a christmas present (he was my 'secret santa' at work). I had decided that, as cool as sand from China was, sand that I got myself, from my very first trip to the ocean, would be even cooler, and I filled it with that. Today, I look over, and I see this sand sitting there, little pokes and stuff I had made with the rake, the night before, and it really fucking hits me; I really cared for this girl. This woman who was with me when I got that sand. This woman that is still taking up more pics on my cell phone than everything else on there, put together, half of which were of the both of us.. Gone. No more IM's back and forth. None of the all-night phone calls or the song-singing that I was already missing before she dumped me..
Gone.