New Post
So i've decided to start posting again.
i tried the myspace thing. but posting-wise, it aint shit.
now that i've had enough time to let go of sucky people, i've grown.
Right now I have something going on in my life that is so terrifying, everything else seems so insignificant.
The terror is currently in limbo. I dont find out if it is denfinate for 2-3 weeks. But im scared. Terrified and alone.
I dont think anyone i know could even comprehend. It is like loosing apart of my soul.
No tom and i are fine.. Its not that, but im not going to say exactly what is haunting me until i know for sure and until the person it involves makes the announcement first. I've told like 3 people, but that was on a need-to-know basis.
Ive spent a good deal of time crying, and that has helped. Now i am researching, but that just makes it harder. And the waiting is absolutely killing me. I feel isolated from the world. I feel isolated from the person i thought i was, and the future i thought i had.
NO im not dying!!!! but metaphorically speaking, maybe. That would explain the hurt i feel.
Im angry more than anything. I should be angry with the person involved, but i cant bring myself to be. Im angry on how i found out. Im angry i havent heard anything yet. But mostly in angry with a third party who doesnt even know who i am.
Confused? you should be.
I have my life on track, and i can finally see the light at the end of the tunnel. Hopefully by christmas i'll be on the road to stablility. I've been able to work my ass of and in just a short year, ive been able to increase my salary by $10,000.00 . Im sooting for another $5,000.00 by November.
There is a 40% Chance that the one thing ive been dreading will become a reality. and a 60% that it wont happen or is only postponed.
I wish i could have made a happier post after so long.
i tried the myspace thing. but posting-wise, it aint shit.
now that i've had enough time to let go of sucky people, i've grown.
Right now I have something going on in my life that is so terrifying, everything else seems so insignificant.
The terror is currently in limbo. I dont find out if it is denfinate for 2-3 weeks. But im scared. Terrified and alone.
I dont think anyone i know could even comprehend. It is like loosing apart of my soul.
No tom and i are fine.. Its not that, but im not going to say exactly what is haunting me until i know for sure and until the person it involves makes the announcement first. I've told like 3 people, but that was on a need-to-know basis.
Ive spent a good deal of time crying, and that has helped. Now i am researching, but that just makes it harder. And the waiting is absolutely killing me. I feel isolated from the world. I feel isolated from the person i thought i was, and the future i thought i had.
NO im not dying!!!! but metaphorically speaking, maybe. That would explain the hurt i feel.
Im angry more than anything. I should be angry with the person involved, but i cant bring myself to be. Im angry on how i found out. Im angry i havent heard anything yet. But mostly in angry with a third party who doesnt even know who i am.
Confused? you should be.
I have my life on track, and i can finally see the light at the end of the tunnel. Hopefully by christmas i'll be on the road to stablility. I've been able to work my ass of and in just a short year, ive been able to increase my salary by $10,000.00 . Im sooting for another $5,000.00 by November.
There is a 40% Chance that the one thing ive been dreading will become a reality. and a 60% that it wont happen or is only postponed.
I wish i could have made a happier post after so long.