My Life for You (2/13?)
Title: My Life for You
Author: Reila [puppets_corpse]
Band: the GazettE
Pairing: Aoi x Ruki
Other pairings: Ruki x Reita.
Overall Rating: NC-17
Disclaimer: They live in my closet, I swear..
Summary: For as long as he could remember, Aoi had always been so quiet, so distant. He put on a mask in front of their fans and on camera. There was something deeper to the guitarist and Ruki was determined to get to the bottom of it.
Previous: 01
Heat...how he despised it, especially right now. The guitarist was never one to complain about the weather, only ever really indicating that he even noticed how severe the weather was by the way he shivered in the snowy breeze everytime winter rolled around or how his body glinted with perspiration in the summertime. Today, was no different. He and his band members had been working since about five that morning on their BURIAL APPLICANT video, wanting to get the most complex shots done before the temperature rose. They were in the abandoned warehouse at the moment, the sun's early morning rays shining through some of the older windows and through some loose boards. It was only around nine in the morning when they took their first break, Kai proposing that they should after seeing how faint Aoi looked. The guitarist gave him a grateful smile before he sat down on one of the crates the crew had brought with them, carefully placing his guitar down next to him before he leaned forward and rested his forehead against the palm of his hands. He felt someone sit next to him, not really caring to look up in knowing he'd find out soon enough.
"Aoi-kun?" Uruha's voice came from next to him, a gentle hand placing itself on his hand. He kept his eyes closed as he tried to cool off. Though it was still pretty early in the morning, the humidity of everyone breathing in a closed of room made it hotter than what it would've normally been. The brunette just nodded his head, showing him that he heard him. "What's wrong?"
"It's just..really hot," He sighed faintly, his head remaining bowed. He knew Uruha was surprised at his statement, not even needing to hear the tone in his voice when he spoke.
"If the heat's bothering you so much, Aoi-kun, then we can stop shooting until tomorrow--"
"Iie," he said firmly, finally picking his head up and giving him a reassuring smile. "I'm fine."
Uruha frowned at his friend, knowing that the heat was bothering him more than he let on. If anything, beneath the slightly flushed skin, he could be suffering even more than any of them anticipated. It worried the blonde, but he knew that his friend wouldn't give in without a fight; that was something that needed to be avoided. Nodding, Uruha gently pulled his hand away from the other man, pulling himself to his feet.
"All right," he said, obviously still worried about him. "Just cool down for a few minutes and tell us when you're ready to start again, okay?" When Aoi nodded, the blonde made a mental note to watch over him, making sure that he didn't work himself into exhaustion.
As Uruha walked away, Aoi heaved a deep sigh, hanging his head as he ran his fingers through his long, braided locks. As much as much as his body screamed for rest, he forced himself up off of the create, walking over to the refreshments te crew set up for them and grabbed an ice-cold bottle of water. He had barely managed to twist the cap off when a voice spoke out.
"We all know you're exhausted, Aoi," Ruki's voice came from behind him, causing the taller figure to freeze. The smile that had painted itself upon his lips so many times before reappeared once again as he turned to look at the vocalist. He wasn't expecting him to look so serious, so worried as he gazed up at him. The guitarist felt his smile falter, something that had never happened until now. He quickly regained his structure as he looked at the blonde, shaking his head.
"I'm fine, Ru--"
"Don't lie, Aoi," he said, taking a step forward. His voice was completely different from the usually vulgar and crude manner it had. It almost sounded like he was pleading for him to tell the truth. He wasn't sure how long he was going to be able to keep up his façade in front of Ruki; the truth is, it was exhausting him. "We know you're not invincible; it's okay to show at least some vulnerability."
Aoi frowned at his words, shaking his head. "I'll be all right, Ruki," he insisted. "I just need a small break."
"You're worrying us, Aoi," he suddenly said, his tone startling the guitarist. He looked at Ruki in amazement, the sincerity of his voice shocked him. "On tour, you were so different," he continued, a frown apparent on his face. "Seeing you now, it worries me that something's happened to you."
Shifting uncomfortably on the spot, he turned his back to Ruki, taking a drink from his momentarily forgotten bottle of water. It gave im an excuse to take his time in coming up with an answer. "Nothing's happened to me, Ruki-kun," he said simply. "I'm fine, really. Just a little stressed from the new album."
Behind him, a sigh was heaved before shuffling was heard. He knew Ruki had given up for the time being. Glancing over his shoulder, he frowned when he saw his friend's head hang.
"Ruki-chan?" He asked uncertainly, finally turning around to face him. When Ruki just shook his head, he frowned more and took a step towards him. "Ruki--"
"Just forget it," he said, turning away from Aoi. "We're fucking worried about you and you refuse to let us in. Shows me where our friendship lies, Aoi." He stalked off, ignoring the curious looks he recieved from both Reita and Kai. The guitarist put the water down quickly, not caring about the mess he just made, and followed him.
"Aoi, what--?" Kai began, but he just ignored him, his eyes trained on the back of the shorter man's head.
"Ruki!" He called towards him, jogging to catch up to him. Aoi reached out to grab his wrist, but Ruki yanked it away before he could.
"Don't fucking touch me," he growled faint, stopping to look at Aoi. There was an unfamiliar mixture of emotion that Aoi wasn't used to seeing in his usually calm vocalist...Yes, Ruki was angry, but there was a reason behind it, one that clearly spelled it out to him as if the word was flashed before him in bright, white light. Ruki was hurt.
"But Ruki.."
"Don't give me any of your lame excuses, Aoi," he snapped at him sharply, the pain in his voice stabbing at his chest harshly. He felt his hands shake as he reached up to play with the necklace that was wrapped around his neck, the one Ruki had gotten him for his birthday at the beginning of the year. It was something he always did out of nervous habit. "I tell you that we're worried about you, but do you give a shit? No. You're rather walk around, moping and ignoring four people that care a lot about you. If you want to be that way, Aoi, fine. I couldn't really give a shit."
His words stung, knowing that everything he said was true. He wanted to tell him what was going on so much, but he just couldn't bring himself to it. When Aoi couldn't find anything to say, Ruki just rolled his eyes, turning his back on him and walking off.
"I'm going for a walk," he mumbled as he stormed away, his fists balled up into fists. Aoi looked like he was on the verge of tears.
I wish I could tell you, Ruki.. He thought to himself as he watched him leave. I really do..I just can't right now..It's not the right time. Turning back towards the warehouse, slowly making his way back to the video shoot.
I really need to tell him..before it's too late.
---
Notes:
o1| Uwaaah! Sorry about the wait~ There's been a lot of stress in my life lately. At least I'm finding a good way to channel my emotions! \:D/
o2| Please forgive about the mistakes. It's 6:16 in the morning and I'm a bit pressed for time. LOVE YOU ALL.
---
Fanfiction Archive
Author: Reila [puppets_corpse]
Band: the GazettE
Pairing: Aoi x Ruki
Other pairings: Ruki x Reita.
Overall Rating: NC-17
Disclaimer: They live in my closet, I swear..
Summary: For as long as he could remember, Aoi had always been so quiet, so distant. He put on a mask in front of their fans and on camera. There was something deeper to the guitarist and Ruki was determined to get to the bottom of it.
Previous: 01
Heat...how he despised it, especially right now. The guitarist was never one to complain about the weather, only ever really indicating that he even noticed how severe the weather was by the way he shivered in the snowy breeze everytime winter rolled around or how his body glinted with perspiration in the summertime. Today, was no different. He and his band members had been working since about five that morning on their BURIAL APPLICANT video, wanting to get the most complex shots done before the temperature rose. They were in the abandoned warehouse at the moment, the sun's early morning rays shining through some of the older windows and through some loose boards. It was only around nine in the morning when they took their first break, Kai proposing that they should after seeing how faint Aoi looked. The guitarist gave him a grateful smile before he sat down on one of the crates the crew had brought with them, carefully placing his guitar down next to him before he leaned forward and rested his forehead against the palm of his hands. He felt someone sit next to him, not really caring to look up in knowing he'd find out soon enough.
"Aoi-kun?" Uruha's voice came from next to him, a gentle hand placing itself on his hand. He kept his eyes closed as he tried to cool off. Though it was still pretty early in the morning, the humidity of everyone breathing in a closed of room made it hotter than what it would've normally been. The brunette just nodded his head, showing him that he heard him. "What's wrong?"
"It's just..really hot," He sighed faintly, his head remaining bowed. He knew Uruha was surprised at his statement, not even needing to hear the tone in his voice when he spoke.
"If the heat's bothering you so much, Aoi-kun, then we can stop shooting until tomorrow--"
"Iie," he said firmly, finally picking his head up and giving him a reassuring smile. "I'm fine."
Uruha frowned at his friend, knowing that the heat was bothering him more than he let on. If anything, beneath the slightly flushed skin, he could be suffering even more than any of them anticipated. It worried the blonde, but he knew that his friend wouldn't give in without a fight; that was something that needed to be avoided. Nodding, Uruha gently pulled his hand away from the other man, pulling himself to his feet.
"All right," he said, obviously still worried about him. "Just cool down for a few minutes and tell us when you're ready to start again, okay?" When Aoi nodded, the blonde made a mental note to watch over him, making sure that he didn't work himself into exhaustion.
As Uruha walked away, Aoi heaved a deep sigh, hanging his head as he ran his fingers through his long, braided locks. As much as much as his body screamed for rest, he forced himself up off of the create, walking over to the refreshments te crew set up for them and grabbed an ice-cold bottle of water. He had barely managed to twist the cap off when a voice spoke out.
"We all know you're exhausted, Aoi," Ruki's voice came from behind him, causing the taller figure to freeze. The smile that had painted itself upon his lips so many times before reappeared once again as he turned to look at the vocalist. He wasn't expecting him to look so serious, so worried as he gazed up at him. The guitarist felt his smile falter, something that had never happened until now. He quickly regained his structure as he looked at the blonde, shaking his head.
"I'm fine, Ru--"
"Don't lie, Aoi," he said, taking a step forward. His voice was completely different from the usually vulgar and crude manner it had. It almost sounded like he was pleading for him to tell the truth. He wasn't sure how long he was going to be able to keep up his façade in front of Ruki; the truth is, it was exhausting him. "We know you're not invincible; it's okay to show at least some vulnerability."
Aoi frowned at his words, shaking his head. "I'll be all right, Ruki," he insisted. "I just need a small break."
"You're worrying us, Aoi," he suddenly said, his tone startling the guitarist. He looked at Ruki in amazement, the sincerity of his voice shocked him. "On tour, you were so different," he continued, a frown apparent on his face. "Seeing you now, it worries me that something's happened to you."
Shifting uncomfortably on the spot, he turned his back to Ruki, taking a drink from his momentarily forgotten bottle of water. It gave im an excuse to take his time in coming up with an answer. "Nothing's happened to me, Ruki-kun," he said simply. "I'm fine, really. Just a little stressed from the new album."
Behind him, a sigh was heaved before shuffling was heard. He knew Ruki had given up for the time being. Glancing over his shoulder, he frowned when he saw his friend's head hang.
"Ruki-chan?" He asked uncertainly, finally turning around to face him. When Ruki just shook his head, he frowned more and took a step towards him. "Ruki--"
"Just forget it," he said, turning away from Aoi. "We're fucking worried about you and you refuse to let us in. Shows me where our friendship lies, Aoi." He stalked off, ignoring the curious looks he recieved from both Reita and Kai. The guitarist put the water down quickly, not caring about the mess he just made, and followed him.
"Aoi, what--?" Kai began, but he just ignored him, his eyes trained on the back of the shorter man's head.
"Ruki!" He called towards him, jogging to catch up to him. Aoi reached out to grab his wrist, but Ruki yanked it away before he could.
"Don't fucking touch me," he growled faint, stopping to look at Aoi. There was an unfamiliar mixture of emotion that Aoi wasn't used to seeing in his usually calm vocalist...Yes, Ruki was angry, but there was a reason behind it, one that clearly spelled it out to him as if the word was flashed before him in bright, white light. Ruki was hurt.
"But Ruki.."
"Don't give me any of your lame excuses, Aoi," he snapped at him sharply, the pain in his voice stabbing at his chest harshly. He felt his hands shake as he reached up to play with the necklace that was wrapped around his neck, the one Ruki had gotten him for his birthday at the beginning of the year. It was something he always did out of nervous habit. "I tell you that we're worried about you, but do you give a shit? No. You're rather walk around, moping and ignoring four people that care a lot about you. If you want to be that way, Aoi, fine. I couldn't really give a shit."
His words stung, knowing that everything he said was true. He wanted to tell him what was going on so much, but he just couldn't bring himself to it. When Aoi couldn't find anything to say, Ruki just rolled his eyes, turning his back on him and walking off.
"I'm going for a walk," he mumbled as he stormed away, his fists balled up into fists. Aoi looked like he was on the verge of tears.
I wish I could tell you, Ruki.. He thought to himself as he watched him leave. I really do..I just can't right now..It's not the right time. Turning back towards the warehouse, slowly making his way back to the video shoot.
I really need to tell him..before it's too late.
---
Notes:
o1| Uwaaah! Sorry about the wait~ There's been a lot of stress in my life lately. At least I'm finding a good way to channel my emotions! \:D/
o2| Please forgive about the mistakes. It's 6:16 in the morning and I'm a bit pressed for time. LOVE YOU ALL.
---
Fanfiction Archive