Is it just me...
or is season 2 of Glee going to really suck? Because I've been reading spoilers and everything that's been revealed sounds kind of terrible.
(Also, RyMurphs, you should hire me as a writer. Because I like continuity and character development and obscure showtunes.)
- Rocky Horror episode. Um, no thank you. Now, don't get me wrong, I watched the movie and kind-of sort-of enjoyed it. I have the music from the Broadway revival and I like it, but I can't see this going well. It'll be like the Madonna episode where everything was set up so they could sing "Like a Virgin." And I don't care how "intimate" this season is supposed to be, RyMurphs. A Rocky Horror episode is a terrible idea. Just do the Time Warp and call it a day. Do not go any further than that. Please.
- Rachel has a Christian rival! Oooh, lookie, here's another chance for pop culture to hate on the Bible!! Okay, I'm gonna be straight here. I don't consider myself a Christian anymore, but that's more because I hate labels than anything else. God and Jesus are pretty cool, no lie. And I get that some extremist groups are terrible people. *cough* WESTBORO BAPTIST CHURCH *cough* But the same is true for everything. By making Rachel's rival a Christian, they are playing up something that really doesn't matter. So what if Rachel is Jewish? The second her rival gets the song she wants, the internet is gonna start screaming about how she's anti-Semitic. They are going to blow it all out of proportion and hate on the Christian religion for no reason. So please, please, please make this new character a very sweet girl who loves Rachel and loves Kurt and who takes glee as an opportunity to broaden her horizons. Don't turn her into a holier-than-thou bitch.
- Kurt's boyfriend is named Sam. Thank you, whoever leaked that one. I really didn't need to know that. Let's just throw the part where the fans don't know if Sam is straight or gay out the window, kay? That means there's zero room for questioning and way too much room for the fandom collectively screaming, "Just kiss him already!" This takes away all potential for reading subtext and figuring things out on your own. We already know that Sam is going to get with Kurt. That look Sam exchanged with Santana? Meaningless. The way he blushed when Puck squeezed his shoulder? Fandom collectively creams itself. I cannot be clearer about this: THERE WILL BE ABSOLUTELY NO ROOM FOR CHARACTER DEVELOPMENT BECAUSE OF THIS.
- Brittany and Santana might kiss each other! Okay, to be honest, I couldn't care less about this. I like these two, but I really don't care about them. But there's been crazy epic wank about how RyMurphs hates lesbians or something, so I'm pretty sure they'll stick it in to make the fans happy. I'm worried that, because of that, it won't mean anything. It'll just be stuck in randomly and it won't make sense and nobody will notice because HOMG DID YOU SEE THE HOT GIRLS KISS??? So basically, my issue here is that I don't like the idea of handing out cookies and not the milk.
- There will be an Artie/Tina episode. This has potential. Like, a lot of potential. These two have been pretty solid so far, or at least where Glee standards are concerned. I'm just really worried that this will turn into another Madonna episode, where everything is set up just so the characters can have sex. And I get it, teenagers have sex. Whatever. But I don't want an episode focused on them just so they can have sex. I want a real relationship episode, where they deal with heavier stuff. And yeah, that's totally gonna happen...
- Classic musical number(s). OH MY GOD RYMURPHS, WHY DO YOU INSIST ON COVERING ALL THE CRAPPY MUSICALS I CAN'T SIT THROUGH??? Apparently a fan suggested that they do classic musical number(s) or something, so RyMurphs decides that they're not going to do something new, they're going to rewind and do "Sit Down You're Rocking the Boat" again. Really? Really??? I mean, it's a good song, but out of everything you could do, you had to do something you already tried? There is good musical theatre out there. Really good musical theatre that PWNS Guys & Dolls fifteen thousand times over. Pick something decent and try again. I'm still waiting for Kurt's cover of Superboy and the Invisible Girl.
- Britney Spears tribute episode. I'm banging my head against the wall right now. Look, there's a bruise on my forehead and everything. Why do they insist on doing these stupid tribute episodes? And yeah, it'll be great to see/hear Brittany sing, but honestly? I have a feeling they're going to completely butcher her character doing it. I can't explain it, I just have this feeling that it's going to go terribly and everyone will hate it and wonder why they wanted it in the first place. Please prove me wrong.
- Asian/Other Asian? So nobody's sure if this was a joke or not, but the seed's been planted. Apparently, Tina is going to "fall out of love" with Artie and "fall in love" with Mike. Right, so, first of all, they're not in love in the first place. And second of all, why would there be an entire episode devoted to Artie and Tina's relationship if they're going to change their minds later in the season? It will definitely take some good writing to pull this off. I'm talking so good that everything else ever on Glee will pale in comparison.
- What about poor Matt? Santana and Brittany might become legit love interests, Brittany gets a whole episode, Mike is going to get more screen time regardless of whether he's a love interest or not, but what about Matt? Poor guy's had a grand total of TWO lines the entire season, zero character development, and he always fades into the background because Mike's a better dancer. Give the boy a solo and a couple lines of dialogue already!
- No more Jesse St. James. Not gonna lie, after RyMurphs butchered Kurt's character, I was watching for Jesse. He's a complete douche, but I can't help it. I love Jesse, probably because I love J-Groff, but whatever. No matter how horrible Jesse is, you can't deny that he is extremely talented and Lea and J-Groff have some of the best chemistry ever to be seen on Glee. You take him away and you take away one of the few believable relationships/possible friendships that Glee has. He needs to come back from California at least once, even if it's just to rub his success in everyone's faces. Please. Bring him back.
- More Shelby and April. *insert unbelievably heavy sigh here* Really? Ugh. I love Kristin and I love Idina, but I really hate their characters. April feels overused at this point. There's really no reason for her to come back. She's "cleaning up and heading to the big Broadway," remember? And she might fail again, but why bring her back just so she can lament over her failure... again? And Shelby really got on my nerves after she basically told Rachel to go away. Their relationship is terrible and it showed everything that you don't want your adoption to be like. It'll take some serious mother/daughter bonding between Shelby and Rachel to redeem her character.
- John Stamos as Emma's dentist. No. No no no no no. I hate John Stamos and I want him to go away. Even if he plays the nicest, sweetest love interest in the history of love interests, I'll still hate him. And that's the other thing. People either want dentist-man to be everything Emma's always wanted or a complete douche who sends her running back to Will. I want him to be a flawed man who cares for Emma and helps her better herself and lets her better him as well. I want them to get on well and be perfect for each other and give Will the kick in the ass he needs. But yeah, since when has Glee actually cared about character development?
- Male Mercedes? What the heck happened to him? Back before the nation-wide cast search, it was announced that the glee club would be getting a male version of Mercedes. And while fandom's been squeeing over Sam and whining about Charice, nobody even remembers this guy. I want him to exist, dammit! (Or turn Matt into this guy, maybe?)
(Also, RyMurphs, you should hire me as a writer. Because I like continuity and character development and obscure showtunes.)