Mr and Mrs. Anonymous (1/?)
Title: Mr. And Mrs. Anonymous
Rating: PG-13
Pairing: YunJae (main), ChangKyu
Genre: Romance, Drama, Humor
Length: Chaptered
Summary: Yunho signs up for a dating site, and has no idea that the person he is talking to is Jaejoong. (Post DBSK Split).
“I can’t believe you’re signing up to a dating website,” Changmin said, staring in disbelief at Yunho's laptop screen.
“You’ve said that about six times already,” Yunho sighed.
“Because it’s stupid, that’s why! Just ask someone out - is it that hard to get a date?”
“I don’t have time,” Yunho retorted dismissively (there were other reasons, but he wasn't going to get into those). “And besides, I’m not looking to date necessarily - I just want someone to talk to.”
“There are plenty of chat sites - sign up for one of those!” Changmin shook his head. “You’re just going to end up with a bunch of crazy sasaeng fans flocking around you.”
“They won’t know who I am,” Yunho replied, his fingers moving across the keyboard. “I’m using a fake name, and I’m not planning on putting a photo up.”
Changmin rolled his eyes. “Then you won’t be talking to anyone - no one’s going to chat with someone who fakes their identity.”
“Someone will talk to me.” Yunho smiled and spun around to face Changmin. “There - accounts done. What do you think?”
“Kim Yun…Kim Yun, really?” Changmin raised one eyebrow.
“What’s wrong with it?” Yunho asked defensively. “It’s a perfectly plausible name.”
“It’s just the first three letters of your name, paired with Jaejoong-hyung’s lastname!” Changmin shook his head in disbelief.
“Hey! Don’t…don’t say that name.” Yunho awkwardly rubbed the back of his neck, while Changmin muttered, “oh jesus, I forgot Jaejoong-hyung had turned into Voldemort.”
“Anyway,” Yunho continued, looking embarrassed, “it’s not Jaejoong’s last name, okay? Hundreds of people in Korea have that last name - it’s one of the most popular ones. And “Yun” isn’t a bad name.”
Changmin rolled his eyes. “Whatever hyung,” he replied. “Let’s just see if anyone actually decides to talk to you.”
“They will,” Yunho said, confidently.
Changmin snorted. “Then they’re idiots.”
…
“Hyung, seriously, come watch a movie with us!” Junsu called over his shoulder. Jaejoong waved a dismissive hand (trying not to look too rude because it was Junsu - being rude to Junsu would bring on the pouty-face, and no one could handle the pouty-face).
“Later,” he said, his eyes glued to the computer screen.
Yoochun let out a loud snort of amusement. “Seriously hyung, what are you doing over there? Anytime we’re not working, you’re staring at that computer screen.”
“No I’m not,” Jaejoong retorted.
“Yes you are.” Yoochun raised his eyebrows. “What? Looking at porn or something? And don’t look at me like that - we’re all adults here.”
Jaejoong raised his eyes to glance briefly at Junsu. Well - that was questionable.
“I’m not doing anything,” Jaejoong insisted. Yoochun opened his mouth to respond, but then Junsu hissed that the axe-murderer had entered the house, and Yoochun returned to what he'd been doing previously - gawking at the television screen.
Jaejoong sighed and glanced away. His eyes flickered to the screen and he cringed - the dating website. The dreaded dating website that he’d been obsessed with for the past month or so (okay, three months, but who was counting?). It had started off as a dare from one of the stage-crew at their last performance. Jaejoong hadn’t actually intended to stick with it, but then…
…then no one had responded to any of his messages. Jaejoong knew that it probably had something to do with the lack of visuals (hell, he couldn't just post a picture of Kim Jaejoong on there without some form of backlash), or his strange name (“JJ”…he’d run out of ideas, it wasn’t his fault!), but the diva-within just couldn’t handle that sort of insult.
Jaejoong had vowed that he would quit as soon as one person responded to his chat requests (or sent him one of their own, but that didn’t seem to be happening anytime soon).
“Hyung - ”
“They all die in the end,” Jaejoong snapped, his eyes unmoving.
Yoochun cursed loudly, and Junsu shot him the pouty face. Jaejoong ignored them and sent out another stream of chat requests.
…
Yunho was lonely.
Changmin was great and all, except he was hardly ever around anymore. When they weren’t working, he was constantly glued to Kyuhyun’s side. Yunho seriously didn’t know what was up with that - yeah, those two had always been close, but they’d taken it to a new level as of late.
So yeah, Changmin was off doing evil-maknae-things with Kyuhyun, and everyone in Super Junior seemed to be off doing something. He’d tried calling home but no one was picking up and…well, he wasn’t going to lie - dating had been on his mind for a while.
Of course, after the first seven failed attempts (all had turned out to be sasaeng fans) he’d given up on the conventional methods. The last one had been the worst. He hadn’t even gotten a chance to ask her out before he’d realised something was…wrong (and it had taken way too long to…detach her from his body). Basically, being U-Know Yunho was great until it came to the dating scene. Then, well, it all descended to hell.
This couldn’t be bad though, right? It was a dating website. There wasn’t any evidence of who he was. He’d just fly under the radar, chat to a few people, determine whether they were crazed psychopaths…and if they weren’t, who knows. At the very least, he’d have something to do with his spare time.
Yes - how bad could it be? A grin spread across his face as he realised he’d already received a request.
“Take that Changmin,” he muttered, his lips curving into a smirk. “And you said no one would talk to me…”
So what if the person in question didn’t have any photo, and so what if their name - “JJ”, with no last name - was a bit…well, fake-identity-like. Yunho had been surrounded by Saesaeng fans long enough to know how to separate the psychopaths from the sane.
…
Jaejoong let out a loud laugh, his fists pumping in the air.
“Yes!” he cheered. “Took me three months, but my charisma finally won in the end! I never even had a doubt…”
His voice trailed off as he caught sight of the bewildered looks on Yoochun and Junsu’s faces.
“…They die in this one too,” Jaejoong says, nodding towards the television. Junsu’s expression fell, and Yoochun scowled, muttering something under his breath.