(no subject)
Detroit Driving Tips for our Superbowl Guests:
and for other idiots who dont know how to drive in this town
> > > 1. First, you must learn to pronounce the city name. It's
> > > Deh-troit. NOT DEE-troit. If you pronounce it DEE-Troit then we
> > > will assume you are from Toledo and here for the country Music
> > > hoe-down.
> > >
> > > 2. Forget the traffic rules you learned elsewhere.
> > > The laws here are merely basic survival tactics.
> > >
> > > 3. The morning rush hour is from 6:00 am to 10:00 am. The evening
> > > rush hour is from 3:00 pm to 7:00 pm.
> > > Friday's rush hour starts Thursday morning. Weekends are open game.
> > >
> > > 4. If you actually stop at a yellow light, you will be rear-ended,
> > > cussed out and possibly shot. If you're first off the starting
> > > line when the light turns green, count to five before going across
> > > the intersection. This will avoid getting in the way of cross-traffic
who just ran their yellow light to keep from getting shot.
> > >
> > > 5. Schoenherr can ONLY be properly pronounced by a native of the
> > > Detroit metro area. That goes for Gratiot too.
> > >
> > > 6. Construction and renovation on I-94, I-96, I-75, I-275, I-375,
> > > The Lodge and The Southfield Freeways are a way of life and
> > > forever. Just deal with it.
> > >
> > > 7. If someone actually has their turn signal on, it is probably a
> > > factory defect or they are "out-of-towners"
> > >
> > > 8. All old men (or women) with white hair wearing a hat have total
> > > right-of-way. All black Lincolns and "Caddys" always have right-of-way.
> > >
> > > 9. The minimum acceptable speed on I-696 and I-275 is 85
> > > regardless of the posted speeds. Anything less is considered
> > > downright SISSY. Oh, and don't even think of allowing more than
> > > one car length between cars!
> > >
> > > 10. That attractive wrought iron on the windows and doors in
> > > Detroit is NOT ornamental. DO NOT get out of your car to take
> > > pictures.
> > >
> > > 11. Never stare at the driver of the car with the bumper sticker
> > > that says "Keep honking, I'm reloading". They are.
> > >
> > > 12. If you are in the left lane, and only going 70 in a 60 mph
> > > zone, people are not waving because they are so friendly in
> > > Detroit. I would suggest you duck.
> > >
> > > 13. I-275 and I-696 is our daily version of NASCAR.
> > >
> > > 14. It's not M-10, it's "the Lodge".
> > >
> > > 15. That's not a lake, it's a pothole.
> > >
> > > 16. If someone tells you it's on Outer Drive, you better hope you
> > > have a map.
> > >
> > > 17. The Michigan left turn is simple. If you want to turn left, go
> > > a 1/4 of a mile past your turn, get to the left, then make a left,
> > > then make another left, then make a right when you get back to the
> > > intersection where you wanted to turn left in the first place. NOW
> > > you have gone left.
> > >
> > > 18. And those 2 really ugly arches over Telegraph?
> > > It's art. We also have a fist downtown.
> > >
> > > WELCOME -- ENJOY YOUR STAY, GO TO THE GAME AND GO HOME.
and for other idiots who dont know how to drive in this town
> > > 1. First, you must learn to pronounce the city name. It's
> > > Deh-troit. NOT DEE-troit. If you pronounce it DEE-Troit then we
> > > will assume you are from Toledo and here for the country Music
> > > hoe-down.
> > >
> > > 2. Forget the traffic rules you learned elsewhere.
> > > The laws here are merely basic survival tactics.
> > >
> > > 3. The morning rush hour is from 6:00 am to 10:00 am. The evening
> > > rush hour is from 3:00 pm to 7:00 pm.
> > > Friday's rush hour starts Thursday morning. Weekends are open game.
> > >
> > > 4. If you actually stop at a yellow light, you will be rear-ended,
> > > cussed out and possibly shot. If you're first off the starting
> > > line when the light turns green, count to five before going across
> > > the intersection. This will avoid getting in the way of cross-traffic
who just ran their yellow light to keep from getting shot.
> > >
> > > 5. Schoenherr can ONLY be properly pronounced by a native of the
> > > Detroit metro area. That goes for Gratiot too.
> > >
> > > 6. Construction and renovation on I-94, I-96, I-75, I-275, I-375,
> > > The Lodge and The Southfield Freeways are a way of life and
> > > forever. Just deal with it.
> > >
> > > 7. If someone actually has their turn signal on, it is probably a
> > > factory defect or they are "out-of-towners"
> > >
> > > 8. All old men (or women) with white hair wearing a hat have total
> > > right-of-way. All black Lincolns and "Caddys" always have right-of-way.
> > >
> > > 9. The minimum acceptable speed on I-696 and I-275 is 85
> > > regardless of the posted speeds. Anything less is considered
> > > downright SISSY. Oh, and don't even think of allowing more than
> > > one car length between cars!
> > >
> > > 10. That attractive wrought iron on the windows and doors in
> > > Detroit is NOT ornamental. DO NOT get out of your car to take
> > > pictures.
> > >
> > > 11. Never stare at the driver of the car with the bumper sticker
> > > that says "Keep honking, I'm reloading". They are.
> > >
> > > 12. If you are in the left lane, and only going 70 in a 60 mph
> > > zone, people are not waving because they are so friendly in
> > > Detroit. I would suggest you duck.
> > >
> > > 13. I-275 and I-696 is our daily version of NASCAR.
> > >
> > > 14. It's not M-10, it's "the Lodge".
> > >
> > > 15. That's not a lake, it's a pothole.
> > >
> > > 16. If someone tells you it's on Outer Drive, you better hope you
> > > have a map.
> > >
> > > 17. The Michigan left turn is simple. If you want to turn left, go
> > > a 1/4 of a mile past your turn, get to the left, then make a left,
> > > then make another left, then make a right when you get back to the
> > > intersection where you wanted to turn left in the first place. NOW
> > > you have gone left.
> > >
> > > 18. And those 2 really ugly arches over Telegraph?
> > > It's art. We also have a fist downtown.
> > >
> > > WELCOME -- ENJOY YOUR STAY, GO TO THE GAME AND GO HOME.