Dale.
I don’t know why it is so, but all I can do is find myself thinking about you. I knew something was off this morning when you did not immediately text me or get in touch with me. When you said goodbye, so many emotions rushed to the surface. And I find myself having a hard time keeping it under control. I want to scream, break down and cry… tell everyone what’s bothering me, but I can’t. Here I am, hanging out with Frankie and Carlos, and I’d rather sit down and write this instead of playing a game of cards and finishing my beer.
I came to a realization the other day. I can never ever do that again. I can never be with a married man. Yes, it’s exciting and clearly taboo, but in the end, I’m the one who feels used, and empty. You probably don’t feel fucking shit. You still have a wife to go home to. I’m just that stupid fucking whore that you fucked a few times a week. And god, why did I fall for you? Why did I start loving you? Why was that goodbye the most shallow, empty fucking response to ever have come out of your mouth.
I’m clearly crazy. Quite insane actually. And this is why I stay closed off. But I was the stupid broad that opened up to you about my life. You actually got to know me. You know too much about me for me to be comfortable with it. I feel like something has literally been ripped out of me. I have no motivation. I’d rather just sit down and get drunk. Be in some seedy bar… Get completely drunk out of my god damn mind and hopefully just die in the process. This is all so dramatic, I know, but I don’t know what else to feel. I feel so much has just been taken for me. And it’s all my fucking fault for letting you get to know me. But it’s okay. You got your rocks off, and you can just go home to your wife and forget who I ever was.
I don’t plan to be around much longer. I’ve never accomplished anything, and I never will amount to shit in anyone’s eyes. So, forget I ever existed. Forget we spent time together, and please, next time you get involved with another female as you did with me, have the decency to say goodbye properly.
I came to a realization the other day. I can never ever do that again. I can never be with a married man. Yes, it’s exciting and clearly taboo, but in the end, I’m the one who feels used, and empty. You probably don’t feel fucking shit. You still have a wife to go home to. I’m just that stupid fucking whore that you fucked a few times a week. And god, why did I fall for you? Why did I start loving you? Why was that goodbye the most shallow, empty fucking response to ever have come out of your mouth.
I’m clearly crazy. Quite insane actually. And this is why I stay closed off. But I was the stupid broad that opened up to you about my life. You actually got to know me. You know too much about me for me to be comfortable with it. I feel like something has literally been ripped out of me. I have no motivation. I’d rather just sit down and get drunk. Be in some seedy bar… Get completely drunk out of my god damn mind and hopefully just die in the process. This is all so dramatic, I know, but I don’t know what else to feel. I feel so much has just been taken for me. And it’s all my fucking fault for letting you get to know me. But it’s okay. You got your rocks off, and you can just go home to your wife and forget who I ever was.
I don’t plan to be around much longer. I’ve never accomplished anything, and I never will amount to shit in anyone’s eyes. So, forget I ever existed. Forget we spent time together, and please, next time you get involved with another female as you did with me, have the decency to say goodbye properly.