You know what? I don't think there's really such a thing as needing "too much" attention or not needing "enough". Unless it's extremely excessive, what you need is what you need, and that's it. Everybody needs a different level of attention in a relationship.
If you know that the person you want to be with needs less, then it's easier to compromise without feeling like it's a personal insult.
Oooorrr, if you're not serious about someone, there are always guys out there who need about the same amount of attention as you do. Then nobody feels unsatisfied either way :)
well then that would be a problem, i suppose. but you wouldn't be the first to have that reaction to being in love, if that makes you feel any better...? i doubt it. i'll stop now, hahaha.
i'm good. workin', chillin'. i'm about to dye my hair pink. i think everyone thinks i'm crazy, heh.
But as soon as both guy and girl require the same unhealthy level of attention, they might in fact require different types of attention. It's never good to need excesses. Even in cases where it's not necessarily an extreme amount, it can still adversely affect the relationship. You can suffocate your partner that way.
As for you, Eden, if you think this is a problem, then by all means, it's not bad if you want to fix it.
Uh, yeah. That's why I said "Unless it's extremely excessive." Why would I think needing an excessive amount of attention is ok? It's kind of common sense that it isn't ok, but I wasn't bothering with that aspect because I think I can probably safely assume that Eden doesn't need an excessive amount of attention.
"Even in cases where it's not necessarily an extreme amount, it can still adversely affect the relationship."
Two things: I wasn't attacking you. My stance is really only a little different. While in retrospect the quote above doesn't communicate it well enough, the point was to show that I had considered your allowance. I italicized "extreme" because it emphasizes that I had noticed the word. Last night I meant to write another comment akin to "I'm not certain why I wrote 'as for you, Eden...' because the entire comment concerned you."
Neediness is a problem. Expecting attention is not neediness--that's just a matter of trust, not co-dependency. Hence my claim that there are different types of needinesses and different types of attention. If one believes that, upon rigorous reflection, a facet of one's personality requires some tinkering, then it might really deserve tinkering. That's the thing, I think, that distinguishes my point from yours.
my whole point really had to do with the idea that don't let myself be happy. therefore when i am faced with too much up front attention from a member of the opposite sex i claim it as needy and run away while on the other hand when i don't get an overbearing amount of attention i become horribly melodramatic and assume the worst.
no, how to fix the whole problem of sabotaging myself? not so sure.
If you know that the person you want to be with needs less, then it's easier to compromise without feeling like it's a personal insult.
Oooorrr, if you're not serious about someone, there are always guys out there who need about the same amount of attention as you do. Then nobody feels unsatisfied either way :)
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you are so effin smart missy!
but my thing is that i believe i force myself to be unhappy no matter what.
if i am getting a lot of attention it is too much and if i am not getting as much i am being ignored.
this is just a theory though.
really i believe that i don't do well when i am in love because i feel as if any moment everything will be ripped away from me.
how are you? haha.
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but you wouldn't be the first to have that reaction to being in love, if that makes you feel any better...?
i doubt it. i'll stop now, hahaha.
i'm good. workin', chillin'.
i'm about to dye my hair pink. i think everyone thinks i'm crazy, heh.
what have you been up to?
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no pink hair dye though. i dyed my hair darker...
i am buying a motorcycle helmet soon!
one step closer to owning a bike...riding on the back of one!
yay for boyfriends with motorcycles!
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As for you, Eden, if you think this is a problem, then by all means, it's not bad if you want to fix it.
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Why would I think needing an excessive amount of attention is ok? It's kind of common sense that it isn't ok, but I wasn't bothering with that aspect because I think I can probably safely assume that Eden doesn't need an excessive amount of attention.
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Two things: I wasn't attacking you. My stance is really only a little different. While in retrospect the quote above doesn't communicate it well enough, the point was to show that I had considered your allowance. I italicized "extreme" because it emphasizes that I had noticed the word. Last night I meant to write another comment akin to "I'm not certain why I wrote 'as for you, Eden...' because the entire comment concerned you."
Neediness is a problem. Expecting attention is not neediness--that's just a matter of trust, not co-dependency. Hence my claim that there are different types of needinesses and different types of attention. If one believes that, upon rigorous reflection, a facet of one's personality requires some tinkering, then it might really deserve tinkering. That's the thing, I think, that distinguishes my point from yours.
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no, how to fix the whole problem of sabotaging myself? not so sure.
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