(no subject)
so my grandmother is sorta giveing up now. it sucks. my grandpa joe is not doing that much better. my grandmother moved her bed downstairs because she has trouble getting up the stairs.there is talk about moveing christmas just in case.....i couldn't stop crying when i got home from her house the other day. every so often when i'm by myself i start breaking down about it. i just keep thinking of all the things i always thought she would be there for but now i see she won't and it really hurts. i don't talk about it to anyone because i don't want to break down.it just hurts so bad and i really can't figure out how to deal with it. maybe my reasons for being upset someone else might seem to think are selfish or stupid. i don't know i'm not good when this stuff has to deal with me anyone else i can be there for but i can't figure this out for myself and there doesn't really seem to be many people around to be there to help me. everyone is in college world and i'm stuck here half alone. i have a few people and they know who they are but agian i'm not very good talking about it. i just kinda put on a kinda happy face. i try to bring it up alittle to see what a persons response would be to it to see if i could talk to them but most the time it's just i'm sorry to hear that or something along those lines. ya i don't know anymore....