You'd Think I'd be Over it.
I could never cry for you. I never did cry for you until today. Everyone think si must be over you. Maybe I was somewhere along the line but it never stopped me from thinking about you everyday, remembering you everyday, and dreaming about your face, the face I was missing every night. So no, no I wasn't ever over you. I was more under you then I had ever been and that's literally speaking so I'm talking seriously here. It was summer and even though I know your face it will never fade from my memory I swore I saw less and less of it in my mind. Those real life days they passed on by and the only traces of you were your headlights in our rearview mirror. So yeah I didn't die every time I saw your face because I wsn't seeing very much of it. I thought it would be o.k., I thought we'd had our last fight and I could get along to writing the last words of our story and close the book forever...
Hmm no not so much. But I'll walk on by and close my eyes against the sun when it shines over you and whichever girl you happen to be walking with on that given occassion and that sun it'll always shine I just hope one day I can open my eyes and look at it without dying a little bit inside. I know where you are and when I'm there to but I'd never look you in the face but I suppose maybe I should I won't surrender.
I don't know why this continues to go on. It's not normal for me to obsess like this over something I just know is over. It is over..right? You haven't said a word to me all these days or turned your head, but neither have I, neither have I. it's always been this way. Me this way acting off your reflections. I don't suppose either of us will ever know how the other is feeling and judging by what I have seen, what I have heard you don't care. I suppose you all think I didn't give a shit either, but I do. Always been something inside me telling me it's not over. I haven't lost that, but I do I really do think I have lost you. it's over now it's over and I'm slipping faster and faster...
Who knew? Who knew I'd let you get me. You've gotten me and I feel like I never knew you. All those memories so far away yet so vivid, so close as if they were yesterday. Sometimes I wonder why I ever decided to be strong and to be brave for you and take those chances. But I did. Sometimes I wonder how you got me this way. The way I am today. I knew it was you who gave me alot of what I have now, and no I don't mean this sadness I mean this bravery, this courage, my old flame and I lit those all up for you and thank god they've been burning just as strong if not stronger since you've been gone.
If I still had you I'd be excited to show you how happy I am. I'd be excited to tell you about all the crazy stuff that's been happening. I'd be excited just to have you. But you'll never know what you let go, what you're missing and how much she really loves you. I guess you won't and I blame you and I blame me, but mostly I blame our minds because we lie. I lied to you quite frequently as you did to me and after all of this comes down we aren't very far off from making the same mistakes or breaking the same heart. My heart, never yours.
The more I see of you the more I cry for you. I cried and all I could think about was how you did this to me and how you without even knowing or caring have so much power over me. I still after all of this haven't learned much because I don't think this is over, however have learned some because whether every ounce of my body is telling me yes I would never accept your offer again. Never. So really this is a waste of time isn't it....
No, I must be kidding of course I'd accept. I haven't learned a thing.
I love everything about you, your pink shoelaces, your stupid big backpack, your big ears, your too long hair with your dirty secrets, lies, and words of poision burned inside, your crooked teeth, I love it all. There will never be another you.
...But thank god for that because I would never want to go through this again.
So I surrender I want to ask whatever god exists for help because I no longer have any fight left, any strength or energy so I ask you for your assistance in mending a broken heart and forgetting a lost love.
help me because everything i just said is such a lost cause...
send me an angel to love..
because I'm afraid I'll never get to heaven.
SEND ME AND ANGEL TO LOVE.....
Jessica
Hmm no not so much. But I'll walk on by and close my eyes against the sun when it shines over you and whichever girl you happen to be walking with on that given occassion and that sun it'll always shine I just hope one day I can open my eyes and look at it without dying a little bit inside. I know where you are and when I'm there to but I'd never look you in the face but I suppose maybe I should I won't surrender.
I don't know why this continues to go on. It's not normal for me to obsess like this over something I just know is over. It is over..right? You haven't said a word to me all these days or turned your head, but neither have I, neither have I. it's always been this way. Me this way acting off your reflections. I don't suppose either of us will ever know how the other is feeling and judging by what I have seen, what I have heard you don't care. I suppose you all think I didn't give a shit either, but I do. Always been something inside me telling me it's not over. I haven't lost that, but I do I really do think I have lost you. it's over now it's over and I'm slipping faster and faster...
Who knew? Who knew I'd let you get me. You've gotten me and I feel like I never knew you. All those memories so far away yet so vivid, so close as if they were yesterday. Sometimes I wonder why I ever decided to be strong and to be brave for you and take those chances. But I did. Sometimes I wonder how you got me this way. The way I am today. I knew it was you who gave me alot of what I have now, and no I don't mean this sadness I mean this bravery, this courage, my old flame and I lit those all up for you and thank god they've been burning just as strong if not stronger since you've been gone.
If I still had you I'd be excited to show you how happy I am. I'd be excited to tell you about all the crazy stuff that's been happening. I'd be excited just to have you. But you'll never know what you let go, what you're missing and how much she really loves you. I guess you won't and I blame you and I blame me, but mostly I blame our minds because we lie. I lied to you quite frequently as you did to me and after all of this comes down we aren't very far off from making the same mistakes or breaking the same heart. My heart, never yours.
The more I see of you the more I cry for you. I cried and all I could think about was how you did this to me and how you without even knowing or caring have so much power over me. I still after all of this haven't learned much because I don't think this is over, however have learned some because whether every ounce of my body is telling me yes I would never accept your offer again. Never. So really this is a waste of time isn't it....
No, I must be kidding of course I'd accept. I haven't learned a thing.
I love everything about you, your pink shoelaces, your stupid big backpack, your big ears, your too long hair with your dirty secrets, lies, and words of poision burned inside, your crooked teeth, I love it all. There will never be another you.
...But thank god for that because I would never want to go through this again.
So I surrender I want to ask whatever god exists for help because I no longer have any fight left, any strength or energy so I ask you for your assistance in mending a broken heart and forgetting a lost love.
help me because everything i just said is such a lost cause...
send me an angel to love..
because I'm afraid I'll never get to heaven.
SEND ME AND ANGEL TO LOVE.....
Jessica