(no subject)

[punkyblond]

everytime i start to feel good about myself
i realize how un-permanent i am
and how people change all the time
and how it wont matter if im gone tommorow because
everyone has the ability to cope and move on
i wont change someones life by not being here

i am so replacable
ive been replaced before
and it can happen again
ive been so stationary for so long
and although i feel i have changed
the situation never does
no one could ever stay with me
people need change
and i bore even myself

i wish i didnt get so caught up in make believe
i thought i could get over this feeling
of insecurity but its still lurking in the back of my throat
i choke on it at least once a day
especially when i convince myself into believing
that my feelings are ever
reciprocal and real
i dont want to feel so recycled
when will me being someone else
mean they're mine as well
when will i remember that letting my guard down is not so safe
i am not safe
i am so weak
all the time
i am so weak
i am so replaceable