(no subject)
I have a secret that I hold down inside. deep, deep, deep down inside. that I can't ever tell anyone because I'd lose everyone dear to me :'( this feeling is overwhelming and I can't deal with it all anymore. maybe ill confide in someone one day... perhaps not. right now I think the only comfort I need is the comfort of home and all the things I hold so dear. family, friends, pictures, memories (good ones of course), and my pillows and bear. I'm homesick and I've only been gone since 9am yesterday.
thank my lucky stars I have my hollyanne. I relaized today I'd be nothing without her. she helps me find my inner strength and makes me feel how a person should feel...wanted, loved, and cared for. genuinely cared for. I share everything with her. watching senses fail today made me see that my best times are always in her company. we have fun and we are almost one in the same. she's lovely and I'm extremely fortunate to have someone like her in my life.
home is where the heart is and I see that now more than ever. its going to take me 7 hours to get home and sit with my mom and talk to her about the events of today. I know she's always wanted the best for me. I'm better than this. I deserve better than this. I'm a good genuine person and there is NOTHING wrong with me. there never has been and I've subjected myself to feeling less than whole for far too long. there are people out there that see me for who/what I am and those are the people I want around.
I joked with holly on the phone about family emergencies and unfortunately the jokes on me :'( my mom just called and my aunt has a ruptured ovary :'( I can't believe this.
bad things always happen to me...this must be a curse
thank my lucky stars I have my hollyanne. I relaized today I'd be nothing without her. she helps me find my inner strength and makes me feel how a person should feel...wanted, loved, and cared for. genuinely cared for. I share everything with her. watching senses fail today made me see that my best times are always in her company. we have fun and we are almost one in the same. she's lovely and I'm extremely fortunate to have someone like her in my life.
home is where the heart is and I see that now more than ever. its going to take me 7 hours to get home and sit with my mom and talk to her about the events of today. I know she's always wanted the best for me. I'm better than this. I deserve better than this. I'm a good genuine person and there is NOTHING wrong with me. there never has been and I've subjected myself to feeling less than whole for far too long. there are people out there that see me for who/what I am and those are the people I want around.
I joked with holly on the phone about family emergencies and unfortunately the jokes on me :'( my mom just called and my aunt has a ruptured ovary :'( I can't believe this.
bad things always happen to me...this must be a curse