two days in and already the week blows.
This week has been eventful, and not really in the good way. Quite the opposite, it's been full of disappointments, let downs, frustrations, and just general blah. And yes, I know it's only Tuesday..I'm hoping that it picks up.
For starters, Saturday after I got off work, my boss wanted to talk to me, and wound up writing me up for being late on Monday when the schedule was written down wrong, and again for being six minutes late due to construction on Devon that I was not aware of. Now I'm not saying that I wasn't at least partly responsible for these instances, seeing as how I could have verified the schedule, and I could have left ten minutes early than normal, but why would I have? So I got my final written warning, and if I'm tardy again in the next 90 days, I'm fired. Awesome, huh?
Then, I woke up on Sunday morning to find that my computer's hard drive was completely toast. There's no way that I'm going to be able to get any of the data off of it (thankfully Jenny has been ripping stuff to DVD for a while, so we didn't lose EVERYTHING), and I'll need to get a new hard drive before the beast will work again (thankfully james assures me that he can find one on the cheap.)
And if that wasn't enough, I had to go to work Sunday morning, and I wanted to make sure I was there SUPER early seeing as I now have the threat of unemployment hanging over my head. Well, as soon as I pulled into the parking lot of the mall I now work at (which is a delightful nine miles away as opposed to the 1 mile that I used to drive - thanks assholes), my car began smoking from under the hood. I immediately begin to worry, and open the hood. As I'm standing there looking at the smoke, flames pop up and I just about shit my pants. Luckily I kept enough of a cool head to call the fire department and find a way to put out the fire on my own so that my car won't explode. And then, lucky me, I get to work an 8 hour shift.
I managed to finally calm down around 3pm, but my disposition at work was not one to be admired. I was generally in a bad mood all day, and I didn't know what I was going to do. It was the worst possible time to have my car break down, a time when I couldn't be late for work, and now had absolutely no completely reliable way to get there.
After work, I got my car towed to a garage not far from my apartment, and a coworker gave me a ride home. We went to James and Robbyn's for anime night and I was basically a horror to be around. I was moody and upset because of all the delightful bullshit that had just hit me. But luckily I have a great group of friends and an understanding girlfriend who tried to cheer me up (and it worked a little bit).
So now, my computer is dead, my car is dead (at least 2000 in repairs, my job is on the line (not like I care that much, I've been miserable at work for months now), and I don't know what to do.
On top of all that, John just got a new job working for the American Red Cross in Louisville, so he will be leaving us in two weeks for good. I'm really happy for him, this opportunity is exactly what he needs to get into the field he wants to be in. But at the same time, I hate the fact that he's leaving. I'm losing one of the two people that have been there to keep me sane and leveled for the past six months. I've really grown to cherish his friendship, and to know that I'm losing it makes it even harder to bear.
And what's worse, I understand the reasons that he's going. It's what he wants to do, and Chicago just isn't doing it for him, he's basically starting to hate the city with all the driving and the traffic and all. And I can't say as I blame him. I sat and thought about it afterward, and I seriously considered living in Chicago for the rest of the lease and then fucking going back to Kentucky. Life just seems so much easier there. I wouldn't go back to Henderson, I'd probably aim for Louisville, because there's a good theatre scene, and it's not that far from home. And it kills me that I'm thinking like this. I don't want to go back a failure...Hey welcome back loser! You attempted your dreams and fucking failed. And I know that I don't want to leave Jenny. I'm not sure if she'd be willing to go with me, it's a big change...I'm just talking out of my ass here...
On the brighter side of things - I successfully got my boss written up for being tardy like I was. He wasn't setting a good example, he writes me up for being tardy, and then strolls in 20 minutes late and gives me excuses? Sorry bud, you're accountable just like everybody else. And, I had a job interview today, and it went really well. So that's also a plus. I honestly think if I got out of my shitty job and into something new, it would help my state of mind tremendously. I can't fucking stand Hot Topic anymore. Everyone I care about is already gone, and everybody I've grown to care about lately is leaving too cause they're fucking sick of all the bullshit. I need a change, and I really hope I get the new job, because it's closer to home (therefore easier on travel), the pay will be matched or better, and I won't have to deal with THOSE assholes anymore...I might have some new ones, but I'll adjust. :)
Good grief, I need a pick me up. I'm just so exhausted nowadays, and I want out of this rut. And I'm the only one who can change it, so it looks like I'm going to have to do something about it now or just sit and rot in this place.
For starters, Saturday after I got off work, my boss wanted to talk to me, and wound up writing me up for being late on Monday when the schedule was written down wrong, and again for being six minutes late due to construction on Devon that I was not aware of. Now I'm not saying that I wasn't at least partly responsible for these instances, seeing as how I could have verified the schedule, and I could have left ten minutes early than normal, but why would I have? So I got my final written warning, and if I'm tardy again in the next 90 days, I'm fired. Awesome, huh?
Then, I woke up on Sunday morning to find that my computer's hard drive was completely toast. There's no way that I'm going to be able to get any of the data off of it (thankfully Jenny has been ripping stuff to DVD for a while, so we didn't lose EVERYTHING), and I'll need to get a new hard drive before the beast will work again (thankfully james assures me that he can find one on the cheap.)
And if that wasn't enough, I had to go to work Sunday morning, and I wanted to make sure I was there SUPER early seeing as I now have the threat of unemployment hanging over my head. Well, as soon as I pulled into the parking lot of the mall I now work at (which is a delightful nine miles away as opposed to the 1 mile that I used to drive - thanks assholes), my car began smoking from under the hood. I immediately begin to worry, and open the hood. As I'm standing there looking at the smoke, flames pop up and I just about shit my pants. Luckily I kept enough of a cool head to call the fire department and find a way to put out the fire on my own so that my car won't explode. And then, lucky me, I get to work an 8 hour shift.
I managed to finally calm down around 3pm, but my disposition at work was not one to be admired. I was generally in a bad mood all day, and I didn't know what I was going to do. It was the worst possible time to have my car break down, a time when I couldn't be late for work, and now had absolutely no completely reliable way to get there.
After work, I got my car towed to a garage not far from my apartment, and a coworker gave me a ride home. We went to James and Robbyn's for anime night and I was basically a horror to be around. I was moody and upset because of all the delightful bullshit that had just hit me. But luckily I have a great group of friends and an understanding girlfriend who tried to cheer me up (and it worked a little bit).
So now, my computer is dead, my car is dead (at least 2000 in repairs, my job is on the line (not like I care that much, I've been miserable at work for months now), and I don't know what to do.
On top of all that, John just got a new job working for the American Red Cross in Louisville, so he will be leaving us in two weeks for good. I'm really happy for him, this opportunity is exactly what he needs to get into the field he wants to be in. But at the same time, I hate the fact that he's leaving. I'm losing one of the two people that have been there to keep me sane and leveled for the past six months. I've really grown to cherish his friendship, and to know that I'm losing it makes it even harder to bear.
And what's worse, I understand the reasons that he's going. It's what he wants to do, and Chicago just isn't doing it for him, he's basically starting to hate the city with all the driving and the traffic and all. And I can't say as I blame him. I sat and thought about it afterward, and I seriously considered living in Chicago for the rest of the lease and then fucking going back to Kentucky. Life just seems so much easier there. I wouldn't go back to Henderson, I'd probably aim for Louisville, because there's a good theatre scene, and it's not that far from home. And it kills me that I'm thinking like this. I don't want to go back a failure...Hey welcome back loser! You attempted your dreams and fucking failed. And I know that I don't want to leave Jenny. I'm not sure if she'd be willing to go with me, it's a big change...I'm just talking out of my ass here...
On the brighter side of things - I successfully got my boss written up for being tardy like I was. He wasn't setting a good example, he writes me up for being tardy, and then strolls in 20 minutes late and gives me excuses? Sorry bud, you're accountable just like everybody else. And, I had a job interview today, and it went really well. So that's also a plus. I honestly think if I got out of my shitty job and into something new, it would help my state of mind tremendously. I can't fucking stand Hot Topic anymore. Everyone I care about is already gone, and everybody I've grown to care about lately is leaving too cause they're fucking sick of all the bullshit. I need a change, and I really hope I get the new job, because it's closer to home (therefore easier on travel), the pay will be matched or better, and I won't have to deal with THOSE assholes anymore...I might have some new ones, but I'll adjust. :)
Good grief, I need a pick me up. I'm just so exhausted nowadays, and I want out of this rut. And I'm the only one who can change it, so it looks like I'm going to have to do something about it now or just sit and rot in this place.