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Sep 26, 2005 13:15

We were so poor my daddy unplugged the clocks when we went to bed.
-- Chris Rock

He'd make a lovely corpse.
-- Charles Dickens (Martin Chuzzlewit, Chapter 25)

Bush gave an interview and he said people will vote for him because 'They've seen me weep, they’ve seen me laugh, and they’ve seen me hug.' These are the same qualifications for a Tickle Me Elmo.
-- Bill Maher

A Minneapolis company has come out with a credit card size shotgun that fits in your wallet. The inventor says he invented it to give people a sense of security. Oh yeah, what makes you feel more secure than sitting on shotgun? Now how does this work? What's the first thing a thief steals? Your wallet, oh, now he's got your gun too!
-- Jay Leno
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