Day III
like i said .. mornings and nights are the worst... waking up and remembering your alone...worst chest pain ive ever experienced.
its hard not knowing how hes feeling, what hes doing, what kind of dream he had last night, or what his plans are for the day, or anything.
i no longer have the right to know ANYTHING about him.
i cant know if hes sad/misses me
i cant know if hes fine, and wanted this to happen more then anything
i cant know if hes interested in another girl
or if hes celebrating me being gone?
i have so many questions and this fucking pain in my chest makes me feel like i can die any second..
so far every morning the pain has gotten worse. or maybe just lasts longer..
in all my niave days growing up i never imagined "heart ache" in physical pain.
but i have never felt such an intense horribly painful feeling right in the middle of my chest. it makes me unable to breath and is constantly mixed with an anxious mix,.
im fucking sick of it! i dont know how much longer i can last feeling this way.
(it fucking sucks that on day 3 im already feeling like im going to go insane/die..one or the other or both.)
its hard not knowing how hes feeling, what hes doing, what kind of dream he had last night, or what his plans are for the day, or anything.
i no longer have the right to know ANYTHING about him.
i cant know if hes sad/misses me
i cant know if hes fine, and wanted this to happen more then anything
i cant know if hes interested in another girl
or if hes celebrating me being gone?
i have so many questions and this fucking pain in my chest makes me feel like i can die any second..
so far every morning the pain has gotten worse. or maybe just lasts longer..
in all my niave days growing up i never imagined "heart ache" in physical pain.
but i have never felt such an intense horribly painful feeling right in the middle of my chest. it makes me unable to breath and is constantly mixed with an anxious mix,.
im fucking sick of it! i dont know how much longer i can last feeling this way.
(it fucking sucks that on day 3 im already feeling like im going to go insane/die..one or the other or both.)