(no subject)
i do not want anyone to take this entry in the wrong way. i realize that most of these kind of entries come as the result of one or two isolated incidents, but this is not the case. this is coming from my experiences and observations of the last few months.
this may or may not make a whole lot of sense to anyone, and the fact of the matter is that it doesnt have to.
here shortly these posts will either become a lot less frequent, or will become completely friends only, followed by a friends cut as is necessary. my appearance out and about will also become a lot less frequent as i will be spending a lot more time by myself and with the people who have with time proved themselves to be worthwhile. a lot of ties with aquantances will be severed, and ones that are close to it already will be done away with completely.
why?
over time i have realized that i no longer share or care for a lot of the things that were used to build certain bonds with many people. interests, lifestyles and overall appeal have changed dramatically in the past few years/months. i find it unnecessary to continue to hold on to these things when they are as of late, causing me more harm than good.
i have become absolutely exhausted with shit talking, fakeness and two faced friendships. im tired of being needed around simply for the fact that someone needs something. im tired of incessant drama. im tired of putting in more than i am receiving out and im tired and getting my feelings hurt for no good reason other than i care for than others do.
as of late i have had an extremely heavy heart. i have recounted many times where i have been there or done things for others when they were down and out and now that i myself and feeling particularly shitty, on top of that, im pissed off that now that i myself am in need, there are few and far between that would like to reciprocate favors.
i am sick of a lot of peoples character, or lack there of.
sounds lonely? at this point i feel like i will probably be better off by myself than i am with a lot of the people who i have been spending time with.
im done being nice and facelessly catering to everyones beckon and call.
this may or may not make a whole lot of sense to anyone, and the fact of the matter is that it doesnt have to.
here shortly these posts will either become a lot less frequent, or will become completely friends only, followed by a friends cut as is necessary. my appearance out and about will also become a lot less frequent as i will be spending a lot more time by myself and with the people who have with time proved themselves to be worthwhile. a lot of ties with aquantances will be severed, and ones that are close to it already will be done away with completely.
why?
over time i have realized that i no longer share or care for a lot of the things that were used to build certain bonds with many people. interests, lifestyles and overall appeal have changed dramatically in the past few years/months. i find it unnecessary to continue to hold on to these things when they are as of late, causing me more harm than good.
i have become absolutely exhausted with shit talking, fakeness and two faced friendships. im tired of being needed around simply for the fact that someone needs something. im tired of incessant drama. im tired of putting in more than i am receiving out and im tired and getting my feelings hurt for no good reason other than i care for than others do.
as of late i have had an extremely heavy heart. i have recounted many times where i have been there or done things for others when they were down and out and now that i myself and feeling particularly shitty, on top of that, im pissed off that now that i myself am in need, there are few and far between that would like to reciprocate favors.
i am sick of a lot of peoples character, or lack there of.
sounds lonely? at this point i feel like i will probably be better off by myself than i am with a lot of the people who i have been spending time with.
im done being nice and facelessly catering to everyones beckon and call.