Entry #779- Had the best time of my life without you
Ummm... so much to say... so little I feel comfortable writing down for anyone's eyes to pry into. So... um... I just won't write about that.
In fact, I find that the times when I have my most profound and personal thoughts, they aren't shared in here. Too many risks that I'm not yet willing to take. It's interesting to see the often mostly meaningless babbling that I write in here compared to the more accurate and raw thoughts that I write in my paper journal. Weird things, weird things.
Today was one of those days that was just good all around. I hope it continues being good. We'll see though, right?
A weird thing about me: I realised that I hate compliments. I know, bizarre. But the thing is, I really truly do not have the slightest idea how to respond to them. I get awkward and want to change the subject because being awkward sucks. I'm so much better with insults... sarcasm, meanness, and other seemingly bad things. Being feisty and indignant is so much easier for me. Compliments make me bashful and timid. And I don't like it.
And at the same time, I love getting them because I let my mind mull them over after the fact and it makes me happy. As long as I block out the momentary awkward feeling.
Fun times. I have to be back at school at 6:30 for the show again. Last night was good... minus Chris breaking a door and subsequently knocking a whole bunch of pictures onto the floor. Because, you know, we just totally wanted to have to come in today after school to fix the set. Hopefully they'll redirect their energy to another (more productive) outlet. Overall, I hear that it was really good. I know that they can be really really fantastic, because their rehearsal that I saw on tuesday was amazing. :) I love these cast kids, their so much better than the musical cast kids- they appreciate us and are nice to us and would like to befriend us. They're not pompous and stuck up. They renew my faith in the human race.
Manda
In fact, I find that the times when I have my most profound and personal thoughts, they aren't shared in here. Too many risks that I'm not yet willing to take. It's interesting to see the often mostly meaningless babbling that I write in here compared to the more accurate and raw thoughts that I write in my paper journal. Weird things, weird things.
Today was one of those days that was just good all around. I hope it continues being good. We'll see though, right?
A weird thing about me: I realised that I hate compliments. I know, bizarre. But the thing is, I really truly do not have the slightest idea how to respond to them. I get awkward and want to change the subject because being awkward sucks. I'm so much better with insults... sarcasm, meanness, and other seemingly bad things. Being feisty and indignant is so much easier for me. Compliments make me bashful and timid. And I don't like it.
And at the same time, I love getting them because I let my mind mull them over after the fact and it makes me happy. As long as I block out the momentary awkward feeling.
Fun times. I have to be back at school at 6:30 for the show again. Last night was good... minus Chris breaking a door and subsequently knocking a whole bunch of pictures onto the floor. Because, you know, we just totally wanted to have to come in today after school to fix the set. Hopefully they'll redirect their energy to another (more productive) outlet. Overall, I hear that it was really good. I know that they can be really really fantastic, because their rehearsal that I saw on tuesday was amazing. :) I love these cast kids, their so much better than the musical cast kids- they appreciate us and are nice to us and would like to befriend us. They're not pompous and stuck up. They renew my faith in the human race.
Manda