Entry #725- I believe this may call for a proper introduction, and well, don't you see...
...I'm the narrator and this is just the prologue.
School is a mystery to me. It's like the breeding grounds of crazy hormones and hormonal issues. Drama, hormones, and desperation make for an interesting time. High school isn't totally worthless... I'm either not meant to fulfill my pact with myself or this is some sort of really horrible scheme of temptations meant to make me stronger.
But either way I know I'll end up feeling alone and hurt, because sometimes I wonder if it's the only thing that I know how to do.
That was really emo. I'm not emo right now, but it feels like a whole watermelon has been dropped into my stomach and will never be digested. I never really missed this feeling. Like a mixture of physically sick and nervousness, although sometimes they feel like the same thing. It's not like I can keep my hormones under any sort of control... they go nuts and then I make myself physically sick.
I don't know what I'm saying anymore.
I don't want to have to pay for this... I don't want to know that the lover at my door is just another heartache on my lips.
And it's not like I actually do anything to help my situation in the least. I shouldn't have told him. I shouldn't have agreed. I shouldn't have started something that I can't handle.
And I can't handle any of this.
I have a B in chem. An 89.2. I don't know how that happened.
Manda
School is a mystery to me. It's like the breeding grounds of crazy hormones and hormonal issues. Drama, hormones, and desperation make for an interesting time. High school isn't totally worthless... I'm either not meant to fulfill my pact with myself or this is some sort of really horrible scheme of temptations meant to make me stronger.
But either way I know I'll end up feeling alone and hurt, because sometimes I wonder if it's the only thing that I know how to do.
That was really emo. I'm not emo right now, but it feels like a whole watermelon has been dropped into my stomach and will never be digested. I never really missed this feeling. Like a mixture of physically sick and nervousness, although sometimes they feel like the same thing. It's not like I can keep my hormones under any sort of control... they go nuts and then I make myself physically sick.
I don't know what I'm saying anymore.
I don't want to have to pay for this... I don't want to know that the lover at my door is just another heartache on my lips.
And it's not like I actually do anything to help my situation in the least. I shouldn't have told him. I shouldn't have agreed. I shouldn't have started something that I can't handle.
And I can't handle any of this.
I have a B in chem. An 89.2. I don't know how that happened.
Manda