Kurisunikkudo
Literally, it means "Way of Kris and Nick." Figuratively, it means "kicking your BUTT!!!!"
Stances
Unbeatable Stance: Hands above head in fists will help you rain blows upon your opponent like...rain.
Nearly-Unbeatable Stance: Think about some blue-blooded, old-money gomer saying "I say, would you like to start something? Engage in fisticuffs, perhaps?" What does he look like? That's the NUS. Old-timey pugilist-like!
Spaz Basketball Stance: While keeping your back and legs straight, keep your wrists close to your shoulders and thrust your rear backwards. Your model is the mighty velociraptor.
Moral Victory Stance: Lying facedown on the ground will help you harness the power of the earth. Try to look as small and unnoticeable as you can.
Techniques
Flying Body Slam: Do a little unmanly hop while making a curtseying motion. Then leap higher at your opponent, with your arms and legs extended to try and hide your shame.
Mighty Headbutt: Shout "Can you survive my mighty headbutt?!" then kick your opponent in the shins.
Jumping Jack Attack: Do some jumping jacks and keep doing hem as you approach your opponent. This move is borrowed from Kevin John James Jutsu.
Death by Banana Peel: Just keep a whole bunch of banana peels with you at all times and throw them into the paths of your foes.
uhhh...yeah. I should design video games.
One should note that the deadly Reed-Dance technique, long employed by Reed Parkinson at school dances, must NEVER be combined with Kurisunikkudo. This insidious maneuver renders the user unable to move anything above the hips, but if it makes the target laugh...all is over. Some have even witnessed Parkinson-sensei use a new form of the technique that allows the employment of a hand to slap his own buttocks--a truly dastardly deed!!
Stances
Unbeatable Stance: Hands above head in fists will help you rain blows upon your opponent like...rain.
Nearly-Unbeatable Stance: Think about some blue-blooded, old-money gomer saying "I say, would you like to start something? Engage in fisticuffs, perhaps?" What does he look like? That's the NUS. Old-timey pugilist-like!
Spaz Basketball Stance: While keeping your back and legs straight, keep your wrists close to your shoulders and thrust your rear backwards. Your model is the mighty velociraptor.
Moral Victory Stance: Lying facedown on the ground will help you harness the power of the earth. Try to look as small and unnoticeable as you can.
Techniques
Flying Body Slam: Do a little unmanly hop while making a curtseying motion. Then leap higher at your opponent, with your arms and legs extended to try and hide your shame.
Mighty Headbutt: Shout "Can you survive my mighty headbutt?!" then kick your opponent in the shins.
Jumping Jack Attack: Do some jumping jacks and keep doing hem as you approach your opponent. This move is borrowed from Kevin John James Jutsu.
Death by Banana Peel: Just keep a whole bunch of banana peels with you at all times and throw them into the paths of your foes.
uhhh...yeah. I should design video games.
One should note that the deadly Reed-Dance technique, long employed by Reed Parkinson at school dances, must NEVER be combined with Kurisunikkudo. This insidious maneuver renders the user unable to move anything above the hips, but if it makes the target laugh...all is over. Some have even witnessed Parkinson-sensei use a new form of the technique that allows the employment of a hand to slap his own buttocks--a truly dastardly deed!!