"Don't cry because it is over, Smile because it happened"

[punknessity]

this is an original story written by a good brother in Christ, a fun companion, great friend...

I LOVE YOU

My name is Lake I fell for this girl named Gene. Our love story started so nice and so good but then it ended in a way that I never wanted it to end. People say that it was just a mutual understanding, but I say it's more than a mutual understanding. I call it falling in love.

Gene and me never knew each other that well. Well I met her through her former boyfriend Anthony. Well Gene and me never ever said hi to each other once we see in the mall. The only moment her and me ever talk is when she is together with Anthony and I just happened to see them together. I never knew why it was that way, but yeah it was always like that. Well we knew each other but never been closed. Until¡­

It started on the summer of 2001. My friends and I were in the mall just passing out the time. Then out of nowhere I see this familiar pretty girl inside a music store called Odyssey. When I tried to get closer to see her pretty face, I realized that it was my friend Gene. She was alone and seemed lonely. So I went up to her and asked her whom she was with. She said that her and Anthony were supposed to meet but Anthony didn't show up. So I asked her if she wanted to hang out with my friends and me. While we hang out, I noticed that she seemed troubled or sad. So I just tried to entertain her and let her mind loosen a bit. Then out of nowhere our good friend Mikey just popped out and started taunting us in a sense that Gene and I were so sweet. Both of us just laughed and denied what Mikey said. As time passed my friends were about to go home. I was supposed to go home with them but I decided to stay because if I left then Gene would be alone. Well when she was about to go, I just jokingly asked for her number and told her that if ever she is alone again in the mall, she can txt me anytime.

As time passed by both of us got closer. We started txt messaging more then eventually we started talking in the phone. Every time we had a chance to communicate, I learn something new about her, She would talk about her problems and I would talk about my problems too. She was really open about her life. It seemed that she trusted me about her life.

Then one day our maid told me that some girl called in the phone looking for me. When I asked her who called, she didn't know who it was. It's unusual for me that a girl would call me because usually it is I that calls the girl. Then the phone rang and all I can hear was a crying grieving voice. It was Gene on the line, Anthony and her broke up. She said that Anthony asked her best friend out. Gene seemed really sad and deeply hurt. How I wish I could help but all I can offer her is advices. I met with her the next day and she really seemed that she haven't had some sleep. I have never seen her like this. She was certainly out of the mood. All I could do is listen to her and watch her tears dropping down her eyes. As days passed I had an idea in mind. I tried to talk to Anthony and asked her if there is still a chance. I came out as the secondary bridge for the both of them. I tried my very best for them to be together again, but it just never worked.

As weeks passed, I saw Gene more happy and more smiling. It seemed that she has over come about her problem with Anthony. I was astounded on that happened and was happy myself that she is happy and over about the problem. As time went by we became closer and closer together. Sharing information's and stories about our life and love life.

Then one graceful Saturday morning, she txt and asked if what was I doing. As a stupid remark, my friend Nico told me to reply " Thinking of you". I told Nico if he was crazy to tell me to say that. I didn't want Gene to get the bad impression about it. But then I decided to reply what Nico told me to reply. Then in a gap of seconds, she replied back saying, "That's so sweet". Then after what happened on that graceful Saturday, I felt something that I've never felt before towards a girl. I could honestly say "I had a thing for her". I was attracted to her not only because of her looks but also because of her wonderful personality.

As the days went by I had to tell her what I felt towards her. I was confused what to say or should I say I was just nervous to tell her how I felt. My friends were all in my support they even gave me some advices on how to tell her. But finally I told her what my heart felt and to my surprise she told me that she felt the same way to me. I was so happy yet flattered. I just can't imagine that a girl as pretty and nice as her would like a guy like me.

As my good days were coming on and on, so did the time that I was about to leave for the US. I just totally forgot about it. It was like a disease coming into me. I was both happy and sad. I was happy because I got her, like wise sad because I had to leave her. It was like hell was pushing against heaven. But that's not only the thing that happened. I also learned that Anthony wanted her back. But then Gene said that she got me already. So Anthony instead got mad at me. Anthony and I had a great fight. I basically gave up a friend in trade with the girl I can say I LOVE.

On my last day I planned a gathering. My friends were there and so did Gene. I surprise her with a bouquet of Malaysian Mumps. I had that bouquet of flowers idea after she told me that no guy have ever gave her flowers. I wanted to be the first guy to give her flowers. My last day was sad yet joyful in a sense. While Gene in the other hand looked sad but was forced to smile just not to show me sadness of my up coming departure. As time was running out I told her the three words that I've never said to a girl before, "I LOVE YOU". She was the first girl I told that to. We both gave each other promises. I promised her that I would call her as soon as I gain access of a phone and she promised to wait and stay loyal. After we talked we then gave each other our last hug and said good-bye.

When I left the Philippines I was in the mid of falling in love to the girl I actually cared and cherished. My heart was full of pain and anguish. I was confused and irritated on the situation. I never knew when would I see her again or if ever I would see her again. My whole life was full of pain and depression.

While in Hong Kong waiting for our next connecting flight. Rumors that my sister heard were told to me for the very first time. I didn't know that Anthony was spreading false rumors about Gene using me as a cover up just to make him jealous. This crumpled my heart as I was hearing the stories of Anthony saying this stuff. By now I was confused whether Gene did use me or not. Only to find out, I called her and asked her. She said no but I would not believe her. Maybe because I was too sad and confused that made my decisions bad. We had a minor fight in the phone that basically ended everything that we had. That was the last time I've heard of her voice in the phone.

Upon arriving into New York, I broke my promise to her and never called her. Instead I wrote her a letter stating how I felt. It was my error cause I never listened her said of the story. Along with the letter is a bracelet I made with her named on it. That was the last contact I ever had with her.

Eight months had passed. I was in Houston, Texas already, still trying to adjust the western life. I totally forgot about her and I tried to start with a new life. I tried to forget about my past with her. It was getting good and the process of forgetting her was a success. Never ever mentioned her name again and if anybody would ask me about my love life I would just deny it.

Then out of nowhere an unknown number txt message me stating "Hi!!! How are you?" As I curiously read the txt I curiously replied, "Who is this please?" Then that person replied, "Gene Marie Santa Maria, Do you still remember me?" I was shocked yet amazed. For all those months that had passed she still remembers me. So I hurriedly replied, "Yes I still remember you" Then she replied stating a question "Why didn't you call me?" I was speechless and didn't know what to tell her. So I told her that I would call her sometime soon.

Preparing to call her, I was scared that I might be speechless in our talk. I don't know what to answer about her questions especially the question she asked on the txt. Eventually I called her. She greeted me happily and gracefully in the phone. Then she asked, "Why didn't you call me?" All I could do is to change the topic and try to avoid answering the question for I don't have an answer to the question.

Time had passed and Gene and I gained more communication than ever. The old feelings came back to life. We started to be sweet again and I would call her more often. We would talk for an hour every week. My life went back to happiness for I knew again that I have someone that I truly love.

Came the year 2003. It was almost Valentines Day. I wanted to surprise her but I didn't know how. Then an idea popped out. I would surprise her by sending flowers to her school during Valentines Day. I ordered from a flower show and asked them to deliver it to her school on the Valentines Day. Then Valentines Day came. I received a txt from her saying thank you for the flowers and that she was so surprised. She never expected me to send her flowers during that special day. She was so happy and delighted for she felt the most special person in the world. I was happy to that she liked it.

As months pass she would ask me when would we see each other again. I told her that I don't have a definite answer to that because I don't know when myself. Every time tell me that she misses me and she loves me makes me more love her yet makes me more sad. For I can't do anything but just listen and wonder how it was if I was with her. She made promises that once I was back in the Philippines she would hug me tight and would never let me go.

Then June of 2003 came. It was graduation day and I decided that as my graduation present to myself I would go back to the Philippines for vacation and to be with her again. By June 5th I bought the ticket and started to pack up. I never told her that I was coming back home for I wanted to surprise her. I was so excited to see her again. June 16th, departure day going back to Philippines had come. While in the plane all I could think was she. I was so excited that I could not sleep.

Then I finally arrived in my country. Took a four hour rest then went out to see the love of my life. I stopped over a flower shop and ordered a single rose to be sent to her school with a note stating to meet me in the coffee shop near their school. I waited all afternoon just to see her.

Then she finally arrived and when I saw her, I said to my self "Damn she is pretty". She was so happy to see me. She just could not stop smiling. I gave her a tight hug and thanked the Lord for giving me a chance to see her again. All along I just kept on watching her bright eyes as we talked. All I could do is stare at her and smile. Then I invited her to go out on the Saturday, but she said she can't for she was busy and had lots of projects to do. It was just okay for me cause I understand how senor year could be.

Then on the Saturday I was shocked to see her in the mall. I was confused but still was in the positive mood. Then she explained that her friends picked her up. So I was just like okay, that's no problem to me. I talked to her in the phone every night that she had a chance to. But something troubled me while talking to her. It seemed as she was hiding something from me. Every time I asked her out she was always busy, but then I would see her in the mall.

Then one night we talked and she told me a bad news that just crippled my heart. She told me that she had another guy already. I was voiceless as I heard her say those words. Then I just accepted it and said good-bye.

I never expected this to come but yet it did. It got me so bad that my whole personality changed. I learned to smoke and drink so hard due to depression. There was an instant that I tried to commit suicide but I just cant. That was really a pound in my heart. It seemed like my heart was shredded into pieces.

Then in the mall I would see her along with the guy and every time I would see them together it would crush my heart. For I still had feelings for her. But I decided that I would not let that affect me. So I did my own good time in the Philippines. I did a lot of stuff that I never expected that I would do. I practically tried everything just to forget about my problem.

Then one day upon walking alone in the mall, I happened to pass the opposite way she was going. She tried to say hi but yet I just ignored her due to anger in my heart. That happened a lot of times and I would still react the same way I acted the first time. Then one day a friend of our txt message me saying that I should forgive her. I said that she should ask forgiveness to me not thought a friend. Then one of my friends told me again to forgive her then I would still say the same thing.

As time passed by and as I was almost going back home. There were a lot of instance that her and me would be close but I would just ignore her. I know that she wants to talk to me but its either she don't have the guts or she was guilty for what she did. Most of my friends said that the reason why she can't talk to me face to face is because she is guilty for what she did. They may be right but I just didn't mind on what ever she was planning in mind.

Then on my last day a friend of ours gave me a letter. He said that it came from Gene. At first I wanted to burn it but then my friends said that just keep it and just don't read it if you don't want to. On the night that I received the letter, I read it and yes its true that she was guilty for what she did. Considering of all those SORRY word in there. The letter made me tear but not to the extent that I was not going to cry so hard. In the letter she was asking forgiveness and apology.

I never answered her letter not till I came back to Texas. All my friends said to forgive her so yet I did. But I asked her why could she just tell it to me face to face, then she said that she was too guilty to face me. I accepted her apology and again we became friends but not as close as before.

"I didn't call you as promised because I wanted to treasure the memories I had with you in the past. From the moment I saw you in Odyssey to the last day I spent with you before I departed away from you. I wanted to treasure all those cause that the only thing I had to remember you by. Those are the only things that can proved that I LOVE YOU" This was the answer of her question "Why didn't you call me?" But now it's too late for all of the good memories I have of Gene have been destroyed by the bad memories last summer. All I have left to say is "I LOVE YOU" Gene.

The reason I decided to forgive Gene is that I believed that she was used as an instrument by God to help me realize how love life is. For all these years I've been helping most of my friends on their love life. I got friends you broke someone's heart and I got friends who have been heart broken, but me I've never been heart broken. That's why I believed that Gene was used as an instrument to open up my eyes and let me feel the feeling of being heart broken so that I may help more on the people that need my advice and that I can related to it based though personal experience.

"Don't cry because it is over, Smile because it happened­"

- The Messiah -

Currently Listening: my standard break from life - alkaline trio