& say goodnight
So my mother...
She's going through a mid-life crisis, a serious one.
The reason shes been so cold to me these past few months is because shes sick with thyriod problems/clinically depressed & didnt want to tell me. (ps this is private..) But anyway, she's just shutting down & there is nothing I can do. I can get a job but she doesnt want me to...I dont like therapy...she just asked me to pray. I know it sounds lame but...she wants me to do it & dammit Id do anything for my mommy.
This whole time I thought she hated me because Im going to Brooklyn College & not Hunter. & cause Ive been staying out til 4am & smoking pot in my room...BUT NO! It's all about her. Shes broken & Im so afraid of whats going to happen to her. I really am...
We fought all over the NYC area today. On the train, in church, on 86th, in the parl. Geez. We cried so much it was just like a movie. It's just weird because I was holding her when she was crying...it's scary that I am more maternal than her...I mean she is an asain womna...I remember the whole time she was baring her soul..I was like "Damn I wish I could record this". I think Im becoming one of those weird "reality freak" people. Shhhhit!
I dont expect any of you to understand because you dont know my mother & you prolly dont know what its like to live like Ive lived...but for the love if god..GO HUG & KISS YOUR MOTHER RIGHT NOW!!!
I feel like one of those pathetic bitches who calls a guy, leaves a message only for him to listen to it with his buddies & laugh about it. I know that happens cause I do it with my guy friends...& my dad.
Things are pretty damn alright. Ive started a journal & will record everyime(or close to everytime) I smoke. Hopefully I can get it published after its finished..then I can start volumes.
A few days of school left..prom is this week. Damn..
I just want to be in Kansas..or Ariz..or just with my Weezah. & Id like to be drunk too..that'd be nice.
p.s. Mad love to Joe Fisano(spelling) because he's the BEST & I truly do appreciate him. Today I was walking home around 10pm & hes like "Hey where you goin? home? Ive got a ride for you" & I got a ride home. He'll never see this, I just wanted to give him some recognition.
...Jesus that was dull.
She's going through a mid-life crisis, a serious one.
The reason shes been so cold to me these past few months is because shes sick with thyriod problems/clinically depressed & didnt want to tell me. (ps this is private..) But anyway, she's just shutting down & there is nothing I can do. I can get a job but she doesnt want me to...I dont like therapy...she just asked me to pray. I know it sounds lame but...she wants me to do it & dammit Id do anything for my mommy.
This whole time I thought she hated me because Im going to Brooklyn College & not Hunter. & cause Ive been staying out til 4am & smoking pot in my room...BUT NO! It's all about her. Shes broken & Im so afraid of whats going to happen to her. I really am...
We fought all over the NYC area today. On the train, in church, on 86th, in the parl. Geez. We cried so much it was just like a movie. It's just weird because I was holding her when she was crying...it's scary that I am more maternal than her...I mean she is an asain womna...I remember the whole time she was baring her soul..I was like "Damn I wish I could record this". I think Im becoming one of those weird "reality freak" people. Shhhhit!
I dont expect any of you to understand because you dont know my mother & you prolly dont know what its like to live like Ive lived...but for the love if god..GO HUG & KISS YOUR MOTHER RIGHT NOW!!!
I feel like one of those pathetic bitches who calls a guy, leaves a message only for him to listen to it with his buddies & laugh about it. I know that happens cause I do it with my guy friends...& my dad.
Things are pretty damn alright. Ive started a journal & will record everyime(or close to everytime) I smoke. Hopefully I can get it published after its finished..then I can start volumes.
A few days of school left..prom is this week. Damn..
I just want to be in Kansas..or Ariz..or just with my Weezah. & Id like to be drunk too..that'd be nice.
p.s. Mad love to Joe Fisano(spelling) because he's the BEST & I truly do appreciate him. Today I was walking home around 10pm & hes like "Hey where you goin? home? Ive got a ride for you" & I got a ride home. He'll never see this, I just wanted to give him some recognition.
...Jesus that was dull.