I'll never ask permissin from you. Fuck off I'm not listening to you.
breathing deeply.walking backwards.rollercoaster favourite ride.let me kiss you one last time.
leave me standing here act like I'm not around, the coast was probably never clear. Can I please go home now?
I had that dream about you again, where I went outside until you let me in, and there I stayed.
today's been a hectic day. I was up all night long, and there's something VERY wrong going on here. As we grow we realize that we grow closer to what makes us comfortable... or WHO makes us comfortable. I can't tell you enough how many wakeless hours I have spent staring into the eyes of the posters on my wall or the ridiculing face of the clock as each second passing throbbed in my head. I can't tell you how much I wanted to unplug that clock and smash it against the wall, or punch out my screen and jump out the window, yet being overthrown from a heartache colliding with my conscience managed to keep me confined to my room. I need a fucking drink... I know by writing this I'm going to get empty answers from worthless friends of mine, and that's not what I want. I'm always nervous and I get too scared to move at random. The impact of the realization about what's happening makes me lose the words that I go over and over in my head about what to say. This isn't some random EMO moment, it's a problem that runs like caffine through my viens, and it feels like my hearts about to give in. I'm all torn up inside. It's hard to wake up knowing that you're going to face uncertainty and ridicule from the ones you love. It's so hard for me. I know you all have your own problems... I've heard them.. I've helped you with them. Where's my help... where's my holiday? It's just not right... I ask for help and it's some echo of what I say to you. When you ask for help you don't want to hear a faint murmer of yourself, you don't want to be told what you tell everyone else. I already know what I tell myself, I want you to tell me what you think... but oh isn't it hard when all I tell you is all you really know. When all you do is learn from what you're told? Everybody would waste it all... we're fucked up when it's all done. Something's wrong and this is going to shock you I bet, I'll break the truth with a hint of bad news that. I mean fuck we're not even grown up yet. No one's had too much alchohol, been seen passed out in the bathroom stall, had any brownie drugs, and then gave more then hugs, we turn the music up wayyy to loud while making fun of the next door neighbor, and there's really nothing to hold on to... It's ridiculous. You're ridiculous. Why can't I meet a person that can fill in my question, we're all young and stupid. This is my own intervention, so I'm going to fake my own forgiveness... I can't rely on you, I can't trust you.I'm just hoping tomorrow will be better...
so here's what I want you to do. Aim me ((CannibalBttrfly))and do the following:
and come clean... not like there's anything stopping you.
Press one if you've talked about me 9badly0 behind my back
Press two if you know you've neglected me as a friend
Press three if you know you haven't been there for me
Press four if you think you don't deserve to be my friend
Press five if you think I'm going to forget about you after this
Press six if you know you've forgotten about me
Press seven if you want things to go back to how they were
Press eight if it's your fault they changed in the first place
Press nine if you love me, truley, and you really mean it
and last
Press trn if I'm really one of your best friends.
I will tell you if I think you're a liar.... don't worry. Now, please do it... you owe me that.
leave me standing here act like I'm not around, the coast was probably never clear. Can I please go home now?
I had that dream about you again, where I went outside until you let me in, and there I stayed.
today's been a hectic day. I was up all night long, and there's something VERY wrong going on here. As we grow we realize that we grow closer to what makes us comfortable... or WHO makes us comfortable. I can't tell you enough how many wakeless hours I have spent staring into the eyes of the posters on my wall or the ridiculing face of the clock as each second passing throbbed in my head. I can't tell you how much I wanted to unplug that clock and smash it against the wall, or punch out my screen and jump out the window, yet being overthrown from a heartache colliding with my conscience managed to keep me confined to my room. I need a fucking drink... I know by writing this I'm going to get empty answers from worthless friends of mine, and that's not what I want. I'm always nervous and I get too scared to move at random. The impact of the realization about what's happening makes me lose the words that I go over and over in my head about what to say. This isn't some random EMO moment, it's a problem that runs like caffine through my viens, and it feels like my hearts about to give in. I'm all torn up inside. It's hard to wake up knowing that you're going to face uncertainty and ridicule from the ones you love. It's so hard for me. I know you all have your own problems... I've heard them.. I've helped you with them. Where's my help... where's my holiday? It's just not right... I ask for help and it's some echo of what I say to you. When you ask for help you don't want to hear a faint murmer of yourself, you don't want to be told what you tell everyone else. I already know what I tell myself, I want you to tell me what you think... but oh isn't it hard when all I tell you is all you really know. When all you do is learn from what you're told? Everybody would waste it all... we're fucked up when it's all done. Something's wrong and this is going to shock you I bet, I'll break the truth with a hint of bad news that. I mean fuck we're not even grown up yet. No one's had too much alchohol, been seen passed out in the bathroom stall, had any brownie drugs, and then gave more then hugs, we turn the music up wayyy to loud while making fun of the next door neighbor, and there's really nothing to hold on to... It's ridiculous. You're ridiculous. Why can't I meet a person that can fill in my question, we're all young and stupid. This is my own intervention, so I'm going to fake my own forgiveness... I can't rely on you, I can't trust you.I'm just hoping tomorrow will be better...
so here's what I want you to do. Aim me ((CannibalBttrfly))and do the following:
and come clean... not like there's anything stopping you.
Press one if you've talked about me 9badly0 behind my back
Press two if you know you've neglected me as a friend
Press three if you know you haven't been there for me
Press four if you think you don't deserve to be my friend
Press five if you think I'm going to forget about you after this
Press six if you know you've forgotten about me
Press seven if you want things to go back to how they were
Press eight if it's your fault they changed in the first place
Press nine if you love me, truley, and you really mean it
and last
Press trn if I'm really one of your best friends.
I will tell you if I think you're a liar.... don't worry. Now, please do it... you owe me that.